I carried her downstairs and put her to bed tonight all the while wondering if this would be the last time.
My little girl is 8 and though I am still capable of carrying objects that are much heavier than she is I can hear the tick tock of the clock ticking away. For better or for worse it is clear that these days are numbered.
Part of me is thrilled because every age brings new and exciting experiences and adventures. She loves her new school and raves about her teacher. These are things that soothe my soul and ease my heart.
You see my girl is joy incarnate and when she smiles there is a light that shines from behind her eyes and permeates her entire being. She shares this with her brother and it is among their finest traits.
Tonight I picked her up off of the couch and almost dropped her. When she went airborne she twitched in surprise. She has done this her entire life but now she is big enough to cause a bit of strain on my part.
When she was truly little I could carry her like a football and never notice her weight, but like I said those days are past. And for the sake of her future feelings she is not heavy now. The doc gave her a clean bill of health at her last physical and noted that she is clearly athletic.
No, the deal now is tied into trying to support more than four feet of girl. But I was prepared for the twitch, dad wasn’t going to drop his girl.
A thousand years ago I carried my sleeping niece and shared the story of how she woke up momentarily and said, “you don’t smell like daddy.”
My little girl brought that moment back to me tonight but this time it was different. That is because she put her head on shoulder and muttered, “I am tired daddy.” Had she been awake and asked me for the credit card she would have gotten whatever her heart desired.
Instead I stood next to her bed, closed my eyes and wondered who she is going to become. Closed my eyes and pictured the girl who is sometimes grumpy in the mornings and then saw her running on the soccer field, pony tail bouncing and eyes focused on the ball.
This little girl is determined to make me lose my hair and to drive me crazy. She is a daredevil who has no fear. When she is angry lightning flashes in her eyes, but my lord she has such a sweet side to her.
I just wish that she wasn’t in such a hurry to grow up. I will always love and support her but I am going to miss these days.