I stumbled onto an old bank statement today and screamed in frustration. That is because I saw a balance there and remembered what it was like to be flush with cash and how I didn’t worry about how I would pay for gas or if the gas station would run out of gas or simply choose not to sell it.
Ok, the reality is that we have a shortage here in California so some stations are having an issue and it is possible I could run into an issue regardless of my cash situation.
For the sake -of posterity, clarity and sanity it should be noted I am not homeless nor in any risk of being homeless. We aren’t hungry nor are we going to go hungry. I am grateful for all of these things and appreciate that my situation is superior to many others.
However that doesn’t change the fact that at 43 years-old I have a bank account that looks like it should belong to the 25 year-old I used to be. When people talk about the shrinking middle class I listen because that is me.
That old bank statement had a deposit on it from a deal I closed one week before my son was born. It wasn’t the largest I ever closed, but it was large and it was meaningful.
Dear Universe, Could You Send Me a $100k
A dear friend once told me he thinks I am at my best when I am simmering. His thesis is that old Jack is most active in all areas when he is a little bit pissed off and unsettled. Don’t know that I agree with that, but can’t say I completely disagree either.
Some of my best writing is built upon the fire in the belly. I have eviscerated other bloggers and conducted a rampage across, over, under and through the blogosphere because of that fire in the belly.
But I haven’t published anything like that in a long time because I am not trying to launch a new reign of terror. Some of it is because I don’t want to build my blog that way.
I could. It wouldn’t be hard to take go after some bloggers whose overblown egos and sycophantic readers have them believing that their size 4 head will fit inside a size 16 sombrero.
Take Off The Gloves
If I chose to engage I would use names and URLs and the flame wars would begin. The pageviews would increase and the readers would come in a hurry. People love to watch train wrecks.
But that is not how I want to do this. I don’t want to make more of a name for myself by pointing out the lies, lunacy and general idiocy that is being promoted and promulgated by people who likely won’t last much longer.
I know. Some of you will ask me to spell out exactly who I am referring to and you’ll accuse me of being passive-aggressive. I am good with that. I don’t need any bad juju.
I am on the path back up towards the top of the hill. I am on a journey that doesn’t need to be derailed by fighting with people. And that is why I am changing the topic and asking the universe to send me a $100k. BTW universe, if you can’t swing $100k this month I will gladly settle for $10k.
The Difference Between My Best & Most Popular Posts
Technically I should change that subhead so it doesn’t appear to be solely focused upon me. Technically I should open it up and make it more inclusive and I would do it if I wrote it as a separate post. However it is not, it is part of this post and it is on my blog.
Still, I think some of you will get something out of it. I pay attention to my stats because it is good business and interesting It is important to know which posts get the most traction here. That is knowledge you can use to build your community and expand your readership.
But it is also important to what fuels your fire. It is important to pay attention to what you are passionate about and write about those things not just because people respond to it but because you do. Ask Erin and Jason about the importance of passion in writing.
Sometimes writing is a grind and you need to know how to do it even when all you want to do is sleep.
About That Old Bank Statement
I told Old Mother Hubbard not to bitch at me about her cupboard’s being bare because I was going to give the big empty a taste of my size 12 boot in the butt. That is my way of saying that even if the universe decides to stiff me I will find my way back to where I want and need to be.
Blogging is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. I only hope I can give back as much I have been given. My thanks to all of you who visit and read these posts.
And to you lurkers, come out occasionally and leave a comment. Give me a chance to try to say thank you there too.
Final 5 songs of the night.
- Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door- Bob Dylan
- Picture- Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
- Busted-Ray Charles
- God Only Knows- The Beach Boys
- Sabotage- The Beastie Boys
Life is what you make it. See you in the AM, it is well after midnight and I am tired.
Erin Feldman says
I well understand the stress of a bank account and the difficulty of writing when you’re stressed and tired and grumpy and know that your writing is sub-par because you’re tired, stressed, et cetera. As my brother would say, “Le sigh.” No one ever said this road would be easy. That’s why I hang out with the people who know it isn’t and say it isn’t.
Jack says
Nope, not an easy road and definitely one that has more than a few bumps- but that is part of the fun or so I keep trying to convince myself of. π
Tim Bonner says
Hey Jack
My bank balance took the biggest dip in the world when I gave up employment to look after the kids so I hear what you’re saying.
In some ways though I think this change in lifestyle has made blogging easier as I have more to say and more time to think about what I want to say!
Jack says
Hi Tim,
Stop betting on Man U and you’ll see your income shoot back up again. π
In all sincerity, there is no better job than taking care of the kids. It can get old and sort of rough at times, but there are so many once in a lifetime experiences that come with it. One of the best parts of having a remote office is being able to see my brood more frequently.
Bill Dorman says
Tell me about it brother; 2007, my best year ever. My book of business was the biggest it had been which equates to my bank account. I was lookin’ good and had big plans to help the agency with mentoring new producers. 2008 rolls around and arguably my worst year ever; talk about going from the penthouse to the outhouse. 2012 and still digging my way back up, but definitely a much better outlook.
Not that it’s pleasant, but sometimes when we are down and angry, it’s when we really sharpen the blade and focus on what’s important.
Hang in there sir.
Jack says
Penthouse to the outhouse- that is a long way to fall. But you have been at the game for a long time now and that is proof of a certain degree of expertise. I bet you have seen a lot of people come and go.
Joe says
I hear you on the bank account stuff. In sales, sometimes it can be feast or famine. Our bank accounts can get to pretty low points. But I’m lucky – I grew up around survivors of the Great Depression, and watched them be frugal. I picked up some of their habits, and with that my wife and I have weathered financial storms in the past. And I think we could do it again if need be.
There are thousands of bloggers and their readers that would be easy to target. Claiming to be “useful”, “epic” and “helpful” while most likely only caring about the end results in the shopping cart.
You know me, I’m old school. When my blog finally has a product to sell, I’ll make the following pitch: I’m not selling this to help anyone. I’m trying to make money.
How’s that for honesty? π
Jack says
Hi Joe,
I understand that. Spent a whole mess of years working on commission or base plus a commission. Sometimes that roller coaster ride gets old.
Your honesty is awesome. I am biased because I have said the same thing about selling things via the blog. One of my goals is to make more money from this crazy venture. It is part of why having a bigger and more active community would be great.
I think people respond to that sort of talk and if you go down that route you will find that works for you.
Andrea says
I love what you’re saying and I won’t point any parts of it out because all of it was good stuff. However, I especially love that you used the word juju.
You are a man of many words, and whether they are lit by a fire or just floating around needing to be said I’m glad you share them with us all. Cheers!
Jack says
Hi Andrea,
Juju is one of my favorite words, but I rarely use it. Don’t know why, but it just works out that way.
Hope you had a great New Year and that things are well.
Julie Barrett says
The parallels – (1) my husband was saying the exact same thing yesterday about history and bank accounts (2) our biggest bank statement ever was after a sale of a property about 2 weeks before our son was born (3) I once asked the universe for $25,000 that month because I needed it to pay the bills and guess what – it came. It would have been more fun if I had been able to keep it in my bank account as a cushion but if I had thought ahead I should have asked for $50,000. The universe usually brings what you actually need but I think sometimes they bring a comfort level too, if it’s appropriate to propel us on. So don’t say $100,000 and bring it right down to $10,000…if you think you’re joking the uni says,”Oh he just settled for 10%, he must want 10%.” Swear.
Jack says
So I spent most of the day telling the universe I would be happy to settle for 10% of ten million. I figure that should cover me. π
Kids are good at changing every equation, bank statement, living arrangements etc. Nothing better than being a parent, but some days…
I like the story about the $25k, that is pretty cool.
Phil Aguilar says
Great post Jack and I can kind of relate even though I have no where near the readers some of you guys have. I plan on keeping my integrity intact throughout my blogging career. However long or short it may be.
Jack says
Hi Phil,
It is often hard to tell how many readers a blogger really has. Usually easier to just ignore that stuff and move on. I wrote that last line as much for me as for anyone else.