I stumbled onto an old bank statement today and screamed in frustration. That is because I saw a balance there and remembered what it was like to be flush with cash and how I didn’t worry about how I would pay for gas or if the gas station would run out of gas or simply choose not to sell it.
Ok, the reality is that we have a shortage here in California so some stations are having an issue and it is possible I could run into an issue regardless of my cash situation.
For the sake -of posterity, clarity and sanity it should be noted I am not homeless nor in any risk of being homeless. We aren’t hungry nor are we going to go hungry. I am grateful for all of these things and appreciate that my situation is superior to many others.
However that doesn’t change the fact that at 43 years-old I have a bank account that looks like it should belong to the 25 year-old I used to be. When people talk about the shrinking middle class I listen because that is me.
That old bank statement had a deposit on it from a deal I closed one week before my son was born. It wasn’t the largest I ever closed, but it was large and it was meaningful.
Dear Universe, Could You Send Me a $100k
A dear friend once told me he thinks I am at my best when I am simmering. His thesis is that old Jack is most active in all areas when he is a little bit pissed off and unsettled. Don’t know that I agree with that, but can’t say I completely disagree either.
Some of my best writing is built upon the fire in the belly. I have eviscerated other bloggers and conducted a rampage across, over, under and through the blogosphere because of that fire in the belly.
But I haven’t published anything like that in a long time because I am not trying to launch a new reign of terror. Some of it is because I don’t want to build my blog that way.
I could. It wouldn’t be hard to take go after some bloggers whose overblown egos and sycophantic readers have them believing that their size 4 head will fit inside a size 16 sombrero.
Take Off The Gloves
If I chose to engage I would use names and URLs and the flame wars would begin. The pageviews would increase and the readers would come in a hurry. People love to watch train wrecks.
But that is not how I want to do this. I don’t want to make more of a name for myself by pointing out the lies, lunacy and general idiocy that is being promoted and promulgated by people who likely won’t last much longer.
I know. Some of you will ask me to spell out exactly who I am referring to and you’ll accuse me of being passive-aggressive. I am good with that. I don’t need any bad juju.
I am on the path back up towards the top of the hill. I am on a journey that doesn’t need to be derailed by fighting with people. And that is why I am changing the topic and asking the universe to send me a $100k. BTW universe, if you can’t swing $100k this month I will gladly settle for $10k.
The Difference Between My Best & Most Popular Posts
Technically I should change that subhead so it doesn’t appear to be solely focused upon me. Technically I should open it up and make it more inclusive and I would do it if I wrote it as a separate post. However it is not, it is part of this post and it is on my blog.
Still, I think some of you will get something out of it. I pay attention to my stats because it is good business and interesting It is important to know which posts get the most traction here. That is knowledge you can use to build your community and expand your readership.
But it is also important to what fuels your fire. It is important to pay attention to what you are passionate about and write about those things not just because people respond to it but because you do. Ask Erin and Jason about the importance of passion in writing.
Sometimes writing is a grind and you need to know how to do it even when all you want to do is sleep.
About That Old Bank Statement
I told Old Mother Hubbard not to bitch at me about her cupboard’s being bare because I was going to give the big empty a taste of my size 12 boot in the butt. That is my way of saying that even if the universe decides to stiff me I will find my way back to where I want and need to be.
Blogging is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. I only hope I can give back as much I have been given. My thanks to all of you who visit and read these posts.
And to you lurkers, come out occasionally and leave a comment. Give me a chance to try to say thank you there too.
Final 5 songs of the night.
- Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door- Bob Dylan
- Picture- Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
- Busted-Ray Charles
- God Only Knows- The Beach Boys
- Sabotage- The Beastie Boys
Life is what you make it. See you in the AM, it is well after midnight and I am tired.