The People In Your Life


People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
or to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person anyway;
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

The “poem” in the shaded box has been around for years but I have never found the author so I don’t know who to attribute it to.

Two days ago I stumbled across it and decided it was worth sharing again. It is a lovely sentiment and there are moments where I buy into everything it says and believe it all wholeheartedly and then there are times where I sort of smile and shrug my shoulders.

That is because it feels good to think everything happens for a reason and that there is some sort of plan for all of us. It feels good to believe we fit into something larger and that the things we do aren’t just random.

Truth is for me I have had too many coincidences to chalk life up to nothing but a series of random events nor can I rest comfortably and say that everything is planned because I believe in free will.

So I think there is some sort of middle ground that exists and I am comfortable with that.

What about you? What do you think?

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  1. My Half Assed Life February 24, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Like you, I take the middle ground. I like to believe I am in control of my own destiny, but there are times where the messages the world sends me are so strong it’s hard to believe fate isn’t intervening. Sometimes it’s just plain comforting to think things happen for a reason, even if I don’t yet know the reason.

  2. Sarah Park February 24, 2013 at 9:08 am

    I’ve always believe things happen for a reason on the right season. But more often, we realize it too late.

  3. Gina February 24, 2013 at 6:06 am

    You were (I can hardly say it ;-)) right!

  4. Betsy Cross February 24, 2013 at 4:02 am

    I’ll be honest with you- it makes me sad. I hear this all the time and it feels like people are dispensable. You know? The sadness probably means I’m not a highly evolved individual and I have attachment issues! LOL!

  5. Julie Barrett February 24, 2013 at 3:20 am

    Since I’ve been studying this for 3 years, I would conclude it’s both. There are certain things that are predestined but mainly you are the captain of your ship and free will reigns. However, you have help constantly available to you, should you be willing to ask for it. “Friendship is clairvoyant” – I love that concept and often find it to be true 🙂

    My father is fond of sending me responses to my blog posts like “everything is random.” Then he calls me to tell me about some amazing synchronicity and asks me if it is possible that really happened and meant what he thought. I just have to laugh!

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:57 am

      Hi Julie,

      It may be both but I sure wish I would get the right lotto numbers sent to me. I am ready to own a private jet and a house that has a huge library. 😉

  6. Stacie February 23, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    I’ve always thought things happen for a reason but have never really been able to fine tune it beyond that.

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:54 am

      Hi Stacie,

      There was a day last week in New Jersey in which I sat at the pool at the hotel and looked outside at a sunny day with blue skies and piles of snow and wondered about the inconsistencies.

      It was about 28 outside and close to 80 inside. Just one more example to me of how some life isn’t always as it appears to be.

      P.S. I still hate driving on 10. That road is just so poorly marked it forces people to have to switch lanes at the last moment.

      Not that you care or are in charge of that but… 😉

      • Stacie February 24, 2013 at 8:46 am

        Route 10 is only the beginning of the road issues in NJ. I knew this but was amazed, once again after visiting this week, by how much more straightforward driving is in CA.

  7. Judy Lee Dunn February 23, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Boy, now, Jack. I don’t come here expecting that I will have to think.

    Seriously, I love this kind of stuff. On the one hand, I believe that everything happens for a reason. But then there is, as Kaarina says, free will. I had the hardest time with that concept when I first heard about it in church. People were all like, “God knows how many hairs are on your head and He knows how your life is going to turn out.” And I resisted that. I remember saying, “But I might as well not try then. Because if God already knows, then he has obviously decided. So where is the free will?” And my mom would go around and around with me on this.

    Okay I’ve strayed a little from the topic, but I’ll blame it on Kaarina. : ) I like all three of the above ways people can come into one’s life. And I truly believe that people are sent into my life to teach me something. And then they are gone. Love that. Thanks for sharing this and starting such a rich discussion.

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:48 am

      Hi Judy,

      Every now and then I have to give people a reason to use their brains when they show up here. 😉

      This stuff really does make me a bit crazy. I remember being a teenager and having it out with one of the rabbis at my synagogue about this. I couldn’t accept there being an answer that wasn’t black and white.

      We had free will or we didn’t. G-d was all powerful or he didn’t exist.

      But I have had a bit more life experience since then and now I can say I don’t know everything and just shrug my shoulders about some of it.

  8. Chrystal February 23, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    It’s a lovely post. I think I agree with you about the middle ground thing.

  9. Larks February 23, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I guess I’m middle ground too. For me “things happen for a reason” rings truer as a cause and effect statement. We live in a cause and effect world, first thing x happens so that makes thing y happen so you experience thing z whether you had anything to do with x and y or not. But we can all effect change either purposefully or blindly and draw different people into our lives.

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:29 am

      Hi Larks,

      The cause and effect “thing” has always been an impediment to my believing in this wholeheartedly but I have had enough “weird” stuff happen that didn’t have anything I could tie into cause and effect to wonder.

      Either way I figure we have a responsibility to ourselves and those we care about to do our best to enjoy life.

  10. February 23, 2013 at 11:50 am

    I’m definitly in the middle with this. Some things do seem predestined but much of it feels random.

  11. rogue wino February 23, 2013 at 10:40 am

    I’ve had way too many coincidences in my life to think things are perfectly random. Our thoughts and attitudes draw people and experiences into our life, like a law of attraction. You can feel that energy when you meet people, and you pretty much can decide if you want them around in about two seconds

  12. Kaarina Dillabough February 23, 2013 at 9:42 am

    Love the poem and, although I do believe in free will and choice, I do believe there are reasons/lessons in everything. We just need to be far enough removed sometimes, to see them. Cheers! Kaarina

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:21 am

      Hi Kaarina,

      I certainly see reasons for many things, but some just never seem to click for me. Over all it doesn’t matter, life moves and changes regardless of what we do.

  13. Aaron Brinker February 23, 2013 at 9:37 am


    I tend to believe in the middle ground. It is very hard for me to “think” everything is random but at the same time I can’t believe everything is a coincidence. I have always believed in “free will” (at times think free will is what should never have been given to humanity).

    Life is full of the strange and the unknown and I like to think this is one more example of it. We will not and could not understand everything in life. I think it through our lack of understanding that we evolve and continue to look for answers.

    Aaron Brinker aka DadBlunders

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:19 am

      Hi Aaron,

      Life without free will would be far too dull for me. I have to believe in a world in which I have choices. It is how I see growth and the opportunity to become more than who we are.

      I suppose that places us in the same camp here and it is a good one.

      Life might be kind of boring if we automatically understood everything or never saw a reason to explore or question.

  14. Bee February 23, 2013 at 9:31 am

    I’m with you — middle ground. Certain things in my life don’t make enough sense to have happened for a reason.

    • Jack February 24, 2013 at 7:16 am

      Hi Bee,

      That middle ground is “safe” because I can’t in good conscience say things have to be one way or the other– but some stuff is too damn weird to ignore. Hope you are having a good weekend.

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