The 25 Most Annoying Bloggers & Why You Can’t Sleep With Them

Hungry

Someone needs to help that lion find a new hairdresser because there is nothing intimidating about that mane, dude looks like he uses the same barber as Moe from the Three Stooges.

If you are chasing Curly, Larry or Shemp that hair style might work for you, because the boys are intimidated by Moe, but the rest of us…not so much.

Really, if that lion roared at me I’d laugh and then poke him him in the eyes. And then when he covered his eyes with his paws I’d kick him in the butt–so much for being king of the jungle.

The 25 Most Annoying Bloggers & Why You Can’t Sleep With Them

If you are new to the blog you might wonder if I am going to provide you with a list and if you are not new you might wonder if I am going to provide you with a list.

That is because I am unfiltered, fearless and willing to tell you who I think is a schmuck but I also make fun these of lists so it is not uncommon for me to respond by producing a headline like the one you just read.

A headline that many people will tell you is wrong because it is misleading and could be considered link bait. Well let me tell you not long ago I received an email from a man who complained about the headline and I broke my mama’s rule not to speak unless I had something nice to say.

I told him that after he removed the giant stick in his ass he needed to find a woman who was willing to service him because he clearly is in dire need of servicing. I said I know they say there is someone for everyone but in your case someone might only be found in a brothel and even then your shining personality might cause her to decide to use her teeth upon you.

In fact, I hope she does. I hope she gets you hot and bothered and then chews upon your manhood as if it were the best Coney Island hot dog she had ever found.

And then I signed it:

Love,

Seth Godin

I Am Not Seth Godin

I am not Seth Godin and I am not sure he would appreciate my signing his name to my letter but since it came from my email address I am pretty confident that we’ll be ok.

I am also fairly certain that Seth Godin doesn’t know who I am and will probably never read this blog.

I almost signed it Chris Brogan but Chris has been here before and commented. Is that a logical reason to sign or not sign someone else’s name to that kind of letter?

Probably not, but since the letter writer and I had exchanged several emails I figured he would know that I was the one who wrote it even though I signed it as Seth Godin.

And just in case he didn’t I attached an invoice for reading the blog and told him about the blog cancellation fees.

Blog Cancellation Fees- The Easy Way To Monetize

I am an innovator and I can assure you the easiest way to monetize your blog is to charge a cancellation fee. It is a really simple system.

The hard part about this system is sometimes people don’t want to pay the fee so they don’t cancel so what you do is sign them up for your list.

You do have a list, right? Everyone tells you the money is in the list.

Anyhoo when you sign them up for the list you can charge advertisers chunks of change to promote their products/services to the people on the list or you can sell your own worthless valuable products/services to them

And if you are really lucky they pay for your crap, cancel and then have to pay again so you make twice as much as you would have.

How To Get A Mom/Dad Blogger To Sleep With You

Some people will tell you the easiest way to get a mom or dad blogger to sleep with you is to offer them swag, but that is not true. All you need to do is marry them.

And now for my monthly or maybe it is weekly proclamation that I have been blogging for almost ten years now and that is part of why I am a bit crazed.

The damn echo chamber. So many people go for the low hanging fruit in blogging and write the same crap over and over, same old stupid blogging tips.

And some of the parent bloggers (I am one too) kill me because they start writing about how cool it is to find all these new and nifty dad bloggers.

You remind me of Columbus discovering America or what the Native Americans must have thought when they heard they had been discovered.

WTF.

And that my friends is all I have to say for now. I look forward to seeing you in the comments.

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Comments

  1. Howie Goldfarb It is written in squirrel and spider blood so that Lindsay Bell-Wheeler and Gini Dietrich can read it. 😉

  2. This was awesome! So where is the list 8)

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