Saturday night and I am back at the computer with a glass ofÂ Bunnahabhain 12 year old Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky. Â I need to remember to go share that with the mighty Dad Blogger group on Facebook, but before I do I have to get in touch with Danny Brown and ask how to pronounce it.
It was a big day for my kids out on the pitch today. Â My daughter scored the goal that tied the game and my son stopped the goal that would have given the other team the win.
Two separate games, two separate fields yet for me it didn’t matter because dad is in Texas and they aren’t. It reminds me of a conversation I had with some of the boys a while ago aboutÂ What Happens When Nothing In Your Life Goes As You Planned It To?
At the time we were all stuck in our personal versions of hell trying to figure out how things had gone so very differently than we had expected it to, let alone planned for.
Change Is The Constant
I don’t know if I would say change is the sole constant in life but it has to be in the top five. I look back seven years at what I wrote about my son’s first day of school and compare it to the concern I felt when both of them started new schools in August of 2012.
What I do know is the conversations are starting to change and the influence of middle school is weighing more heavily upon him. There was a significant change in 6th grade that came along with a much heavier workload and far more homework but that is not what I am thinking about now.
He has adapted and figured out how to deal with it. It doesn’t feel as overwhelming to him or his parents now but what is coming at us at breakneck speed is how fast he is encountering topics and issues that I wish we didn’t have to discuss yet.
I am not talking about lock downs and school shootings. It broke my heart last year when he told me not to worry about him getting shot because he figured since he sat next to the door he could escape.
Not talking about domestic terrorism either. He knows about 9/11 and one of his teachers ran in the Boston Marathon last year (he is fine) and it hurts to know his innocence was taken there too.
No, I am more focused on sex, drugs, rock and roll and Walter White.
Walter White Hits Middle School
What I want to know is what parent allows their middle schooler to watch Breaking Bad. I love the show. I think it is excellent and I have this fantasy that during the finale someone will run around shouting it is a cookbook and that Jack and Sawyer will take Jesse back to the island.
I also have a fantasy that parents who suck at parenting won’t make my life more difficult by allowing their children to watch shows that they shouldn’t watch.
If you are among those readers who don’t know where I stand let me clarify some things for you.
- I don’t believe all beliefs are equal. Some ideologies are superior to others.
- I believe in teaching our kids how to deal with failure. It doesn’t mean we destroy their self-esteem but it doesn’t mean we wrap them up in bubble wrap so they can’t ever get hurt either.
- It is not only ok but important to say no.
- Vaccinate your damn kids.
- Monitor what they watch and listen to. There are some things that they truly aren’t mature enough to deal with. Let them be kids, protect their innocence.
- Any boy who cannot defeat me in single combat is not allowed to date my daughter.
How About That Scotch
The boys and I are due to get together to hang out soon. Don’t know if it will be for coffee, lunch or a poker game. We’ll sit down and catch up on things and we’ll talk about the changes and how hell seems to have been handled and overcome.
We’ll look around the table and make cracks about how fat, bald and or old each other looks and then we’ll smile. And somewhere in the midst of it we’ll do the math and make some comment about how we have been doing this for almost 30 years now.
And the collective life experience there will be the reminder and the reason that when things change we don’t flip out because good or bad we know they will change again.