What To Do When You Publicly Embarrass Your Daughter

Head in Hands

She told me she was horrified, upset, angry, embarrassed and worried about the consequences of what I had done. I told her I was sorry and that it is possible I could have done things differently but that the outcome would have been the same.

She asked me if that meant I would do it again and I said yes. Our family looks out for each other and when something isn’t right we take action.

The Complexities of Life

I am not  a perfect man but I don’t try to be one either. I don’t pretend to be a saint nor do I try to excuse all of my shortcomings by saying that I am not always good.

My dad taught me to try to do my best in every situation and it is what I do. Sometimes I fall short and recognize I could have done better.

A short while ago the Shmata Queen told me about a time that a man waved his finger in her face and I was infuriated because it was wrong. It would be wrong if a woman had done it too, but this particular oaf did so because he is used to bullying his way through life.

That kind of behavior sets me off and it is tied into what happened earlier today. It is also tied into why my daughter said she was embarrassed.

What embarrassed her was an exchange that took place between a man and her mother or maybe it is more accurate to say by my response to this.

This man is tall, has money and has often used his height and money to bully his way through life. He didn’t like something that happened and responded by getting very nasty with mom.

His behavior was intolerable so I responded.

Do The Right Thing

My response was simple. I told him that if I ever heard him acting this way again I would fix things so that the question of whether his head was up his ass was literal and not figurative.

The other guy flipped out, ran on the field and insisted I be asked to leave. It is a strange coincidence to write about this a day after this post but it happened.

The other guy said that what he was most upset about was being annoyed. I understand that.  No one likes to be annoyed but life is filled with moments and things that are irritating and if you are going to attend a kids soccer game you put yourself in a position where you cannot control everything that happens.

Had he politely asked her to stop she would have and there wouldn’t be a story but he was an ass about it.

And when I heard how it went down I confronted him and he acted like a bigger ass.

Mixed Emotions

I have mixed emotions about it because the other guy responded to my comments by going ape shit and my daughter was embarrassed because they asked me to leave.

Perhaps I could have waited until after the game or used other words. Perhaps I could have explained to the referee that this man was an ass who was exaggerating things. I never raised my voice or assumed a hostile stance.

I was calm and I know he had to focus on my voice because I made a point to be quiet.

But at the same time I feel good knowing that I stood up for my principles and that I was able to use it as a teaching moment for my children.

Ultimately my daughter said that after she had thought about things she felt better because I had been protecting mommy and that is what daddies do, they watch out for their families.

Epilogue

He was waiting for me. The parking lot was empty and aside from the occasional car and the sounds of birds chirping it was just me and him.

I knew he would be there just as I knew he would have more than just his hands in his pockets. It is why I hit him first and why he took a boot to the knee and a forearm to the throat.

Just kidding, none of those things happened. I didn’t even think about them, but I hope he did.

I have no respect for bullies and this guy needed someone to remind him that height and money don’t mean you can be a jerk. Maybe I could have handled it differently but I did it my way. I just hope the net result is positive.

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5 Comments

  1. ReallyGina1 November 11, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    It’s important for kids to see that/how spouses (moms and dads) stick up for each other. We are a team.

  2. TheJackB November 11, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    Gina1 It is not the first time and it won’t be the last. And the more I think about it the more certain I am that I did the right thing given the situation. Might not have been as graceful or eloquent as I could have been, but it was what was needed.

  3. Gina1 November 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    It’s probably not the first time ;-). We all do. Made me a little nervous while I was reading. Maybe they were all just overreacting anyway? And of course, anything that calls attention to them (our kids) amidst their peers is embarrassing at that age (and older) just ask mine.

  4. TheJackB November 10, 2013 at 7:10 pm

    cynkingfeeling I am a lover not a fighter. 😉

  5. cynkingfeeling November 10, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    You had me worried with that epilogue

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