Do we really have Plenty of Time or is that just something we say to make ourselves feel better before we head off into the darkness.
What do we do when the Rhythm of Life is Disturbed and you know that massive changes are about to take place but you can’t quite figure it out. It is like the feeling you get when you climb into the roller coaster and you feel it climbing up a very large and steep hill.
That clickety-clack noise it makes on the track is all you can hear and though you try to see what is coming you can’t quite make it out because you are leaning back in your seat and facing uphill. You know in a moment you’ll reach the top and for a very brief instant you’ll gain a glimpse of the bottom far below but you don’t have time to focus because you are hurtling towards the bottom at breakneck speed.
How Do You Deal With a Disturbance In The Force?
There is a 13 year-old boy sitting next to me. He has a ridiculous amount of homework but we are taking a moment to catch our breath and clear our heads.
He looks at me and asks a million questions and I see that he is not buying all that I am selling. Part of me is thrilled that he is questioning things because a person who never questions what they are fed is not the kind of person I want to raise.
But part of me feels a bit sad that I am not Superman in his eyes anymore, at least not as I used to be. He knows  sometimes I don’t have the answer and  I can’t use the Force to beat Darth Vader. But there is still enough magic for him to believe that maybe I know a few secrets that he doesn’t.
The kids at school are really starting to get into girls and he is not quite there. He is further along than he wants to admit but not in a place where he’ll come out and tell me that he thinks of them as being more than just people who are annoying.
He says he knows I am not shy like he is and wants me to teach him a few tricks to help with that, especially when it comes to girls. I tease him and ask him if he needs to know how to kiss them and he growls at me.
Another Musical Intermission
In the midst of our discussion I hear music and I wonder why these songs are playing inside my head. I tell him that it is much easier to talk to girls than he realizes but that this is the start of a weird time where people don’t always know how to respond. I say some girls will be mean sometimes because they don’t know how to be nice, even though they want to and then I add some boys will do it too.
I tell him that the best thing he can do is just be himself and talk to girls without fear. I say it is not always easy but that if he is comfortable they will sense that and it will make it much easier for them to just talk.
And then I tell him that if he really learns how to talk to girls there will be benefits and he asks me what those are and I say we’ll save it for a different day.
It is time to get back to homework and it is time for me to take on a couple of challenges that are bothering me. He asks me what those are and I tell him that I don’t understand my notes.
How Do You Not Understand Your Notes?
I tell him I feel silly, but something isn’t clicking in them and I don’t have as solid a handle on what I am supposed to do. He asks what it is for and I say it is for work. And then he tells me that I should “email or call my boss and be honest, just say what happened and ask for help.”
I nod my head and smile because he is repeating my own advice back to me. I’ll do it even though I feel foolish. Won’t be the first or last time that happens.
That roller coaster is heading down the hill at breakneck speed now and the songs are still playing in my head. There is a disturbance in The Force. I can’t relax, can’t rest, can’t just be at ease.
There is too much to do. Too many projects. I am over extended.
I don’t understand my notes and the car is at the top of the hill. There isn’t a steering wheel or a brake here so I am going to sit down and enjoy the ride. Maybe if stop trying to take control it will be easier.
So I take a deep breath, exhale and then I feel the rush as we start flying down the hill…
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Julie Barrett January 27, 2014 at 3:41 am
Just as long as the car doesn’t fall off the tracks on the way downhill it should be an exhilarating ride.