The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for January 2014

How Many Blogs Does One Person Need?

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SONY DSC

Blogging changed my life and changed me as a man.

The Pinterest Predicament & The Rule Of Four  shares some insight about why I and other bloggers should consider using it but there is a story there that I didn’t initially recognize and it ties into the discussion about how blogging changed my life.

Ask me to tell you about how it changed my life and I’ll tell you blogging led to work. I’ll share a story or two about the freelance gigs and how it also led to full time work. Might even get into how it changed my perspective on where to live.

Where it changed me as a man is both easier and harder to express. What ten years of blogging has done is remind me that the root of who I am is a writer/storyteller.

Pinterest comes into play because I realized the stories I want to tell are major motion pictures inside my head. They aren’t just words but sights, sounds and images.

The struggle now is to figure out how to express and share these things in a way that makes me feel like you are seeing/experiencing what I see/hear/feel.

How Many Blogs Does One Person Need?

TheJackB is my primary blog but it is not uncommon to see me update Words Left Unwritten, Random Thoughts (WP) and Random Thoughts (Blogger).

Words Left Unwritten has been where I have shared much of my fiction. It is not unusual to see copies of those stories here at TheJackB but that is because it is how I back up and protect those files.

I own this domain so I figure that if I lose access or stop writing on WUL these stories are protected.

Random Thoughts is where blogging started for me, the Blogger version that is. I have retained it for sentimental reasons and because it works well as another way to promote the posts I write here. Sometimes I just write there.

The WordPress.com version of Random Thoughts was launched years ago during a time when I thought I would leave Blogger. For a long time I didn’t do much with it and then I decided it would be a place to record my thoughts. Those posts tend to be more stream of consciousness than here.

Some people have asked if I am over extended but I don’t think so. I like the freedom that comes with having multiple blogs and I think if it was all incorporated into one blog it might have a negative effect so I prefer to keep things as they are.

Why I Save Drafts

Stephen King has a book about writing in which he says writers have to be prepared to kill their little darlings and he is right. A good story needs editing. It needs another set of eyes to help you tighten and polish but that doesn’t mean drafts don’t have value.

I save drafts because I often find uses for the parts and pieces I didn’t use. If the blog was a sports team my drafts would be the role players.

They might not be the starters on the team but when I need an expert to fill a role I know I can pull them off of the bench and feel confident in their ability to get the job done.

Sometimes I hate my little darlings and they are deleted so that they never again make me feel like I punch out copious amounts of drek, but not always.

How Blogging Changed Me As A Man

This is far too meaty for me to delve into right now, can’t do it justice but I’ll try to at least give a decent preview.

I am naturally guarded and unless you are part of a select group you won’t get much from me but blogging has changed that. It has helped me open up a bit and shown me reason to be more open about life.

Blogging has also helped me shine a brighter light upon who I am and who I want to be. It has helped me focus on the future and the kind of life I want to live.

But we’ll have to save that discussion for a different day.

How Are You Going To Grow Your Game In 2014?

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billrancic

“I participated in an Influencer Program on behalf of Dad Central for ROGAINE®. I received a product sample and promotional item to thank me for participating.” 

If you are not familiar with the guy in the photo above that is Bill  Rancic. He  was  the  first  winner  of  Donald  Trump’s   The  Apprentice.

He  is  a  motivational   speaker,  real  estate  developer,  restaurant  owner  and  author  of  a  New  York  Times  best-­‐selling  book  on  business.

These days he can add a new and exciting line item to his list of accomplishments, “Interviewed By Jack Steiner.” Believe me, that is worth a lot and is certainly better than being trapped in an elevator listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack or forced to root for one of the Cleveland sports teams.

Bill teamed up with ROGAINE in May 2012 to serve as the brand’s first-ever “Growth Coach” and the fine folks at ROGAINE brought us together to talk about the Grow Your Game Initiative.

I like the idea of dedicating time to trying to improve our lives. There is merit in taking initiative to do so.

Conductor Bill

Those of you who know me in real life know I am unfiltered and skeptical about many things. It is noteworthy to me because Bill didn’t hide that he took ROGAINE to help with his hairloss.

Many people in the public eye keep the work they have done quiet or at least they try to so I appreciate his sharing it but since he is a spokesperson I did wonder a little.

However he was very genuine during our conversation and that went a long way to making me less skeptical about his disclosure. But what I appreciated the most was our conversation about how to be your best self and what it means to be the conductor of your life.

It was real. It was honest and it wasn’t clothed in spin.

“Think of living life as if you are a conductor. They work hard to get all the different pieces of orchestra to play together to make music”

That conductor analogy works for me.

What About ROGAINE Foam?

Well, I have played around with the idea of trying something to help with my hair loss but I didn’t want to take any pills or use any thing that required a lot of work.

And then came ROGAINE Foam. #gotitfree

I can’t tell you if it works from personal experience because I just received my sample. What I can tell you is the foam contains 5% Minoxidil and it is easy to use.

Apply it twice a day every day and go about your business. During clinical trials  Mens’ ROGAINE Foam helped regrow hair in nearly 9 out of ten men.

Sounds easy to me.

How To Be A Great Dad In 2014

Flip through the posts here and you’ll see several themes that are tied into parenting.  A willingness to take a risk, to push hard and to learn how to fail.

“Never be afraid of failure. All you can do is try your best and go for it. Remember, you are in control. Bill Rancic”

Not only do I agree with Bill, but I am proud of being able to say I have lived and continue to live a life that isn’t run by a fear of failure because the best way to teach our children how to do things is to serve as a role model for them.

I don’t want my children to emulate all of my habits because there are a few that are less endearing, but not being afraid to fail isn’t one of them.

When they can see you try to move and heaven and earth to make things happen they understand that fear of failure is not a reason to hide or avoid a challenge.

Life is often filled with risk but it is filled with a lot of rewards too.

You Shouldn’t Wear a Sheep On Your Head

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waxon

You probably ought to pay attention when your 9.5 going on 30 year-old daughter describes you as being the father who has no fashion sense and explains that you shouldn’t wear a sheep on your head.

Of course if you are me you smile at her and laugh and then laugh harder when she gets angry and you think about future husband who is going to be torn up and eaten alive by her.

And if he is not it is only because you got to him first and gave him the sort of beating that leaves an impression upon a fella whose intentions are to do things with your daughter would make your remaining hair fall out.

Since you operate your blog within both the business and parent blogosphere you make a point to remind people that much of this is tongue-in-cheek so that the extra judgy folks don’t try to take you to task for being silly.

And then you remember you don’t care what they think because you are not a mom blogger and you don’t have time to worry about whether people think you are a good father.

A Good Father Doesn’t

‘Cuz if you go down the list of all of the things people say a good father doesn’t do you have already failed. You have fed your kids McDonalds, let them have cake for breakfast, given them food with strange sounding additives and preservatives, circumcised your son, spanked them and you have let them play very dangerous sports.

Go back in time here and you’ll see the comments from the whack job who said that they were going to try to have my kids taken away because they didn’t like my politics.

That is not a joke, it really happened. Ask the Shmata Queen and she’ll tell you that isn’t one of my yarns. She’ll also tell you that if you threaten my family you will not like the response which is why that commenter has never been seen round these parts again.

In case you are wondering I am going to give you a list of the things a good father does or doesn’t do because those posts put me to sleep.

That is bad blogging and th0ugh I am guilty of many things that is not one I wish to own.

 999438

Do you want to know the significance of  999438?

That is how many Facebook fans I need to hit 1 million. Woohoo, one million fans, wouldn’t that be special. Wouldn’t it make you just kick up your heels, shout and dance.

Someone should ask me if I want 1 million Facebook fans. You, the chick driving down Glade, go ahead and ask me and I’ll answer but not until after I pick up a few things at Target.

Hell yes I want a million fans. It is a silly metric that has limited meaning and it is tied into social proof which is a bigger version of the silly metric but some people still use it.

It doesn’t factor in engagement. It doesn’t talk about why a person with 562 fans could be far more influential than the million fan person. It is all about engagement.

Do people respond to your call to action?

Of course the million fan person doesn’t need to have a very large percentage to respond to outwork the 562 fan person or so I reckon which is another reason why I want the million.

Give me that million and then I can compare my experiences and give you a much smarter and more grounded response.

What About That Sheep?

Some of the youngsters that read this blog might not recognize the painting in the photo. If I told them to “Wax on, Wax Off” they might think I was insulting them.

I wonder what they would think if I asked them to go buy Mr. Zog’s Sex Wax® for me?

Anyhoo, that painting is on the side of the barbershop I got my hair cut at. As I walked by I practiced my Crane Kick and remembered to watch out for the dude who was going to sweep the leg.

Speaking of that, does anyone remember this video:

Got to run now, that 9.5 year-old wants to tell me what clothes I should wear with my snazzy new hair cut and I don’t want to miss the moment. She is too damn cute.

Are You Writing For The Sake of Blogging?

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Writing Books

5 Songs

  1. She Used To Love Me A Lot- Johnny Cash
  2. Wedding Song- Bob Dylan
  3. Norwegian Wood- The Beatles
  4. Still Crazy After All These Years- Ray Charles
  5. Silver Springs- Fleetwood Mac

A bunch of us dad bloggers have been sitting out on the old cyber porch sharing stories and talking about life.

In between the conversation about the 25 sexiest and beverage threads (Got a bunch of Shiner Bock in my fridge, come have one with me Shmata Queen) there has been the kind of writing conversation that makes my keyboard smile.

There have been the usual comments about whether bloggers are writers and debate about what makes great writing. We haven’t gotten to the place where someone makes a snarky comments about posts and blogs.

You know, it is the one I make when you say you put up a new blog and I haughtily educate you about the distinction between a blog and blog posts.

 Bruce Springsteen Would Be An Awesome Blogger

The only distinction I make between blogger and writer is that one pays the bills for me and the other is something I do for fun. That is my answer to the question of whether bloggers are writers or not.

A while back my son asked me if I could be anyone else who I would be. I gave him the standard answer that I am perfectly happy being me and that is mostly true.

But it is also true that I wouldn’t mind to have Bo Jackson’s athletic ability and Bruce Springsteen’s music/writing skill. When push comes to shove I might even say that I value Bruce’s skills over Bo’s.

That’s in large part because it is easier for me to fantasize and say I can write songs like Bruce (can’t sing worth a lick) and because music/writing isn’t a skill that deteriorates with age the same way that athletic ability does.

I’ll go spend two hours playing pickup ball tonight and without question will silently curse my inability to do at 44 what I could at 24.

I am a much smarter player now, but my physical skills have diminished and that makes me a bit sad. Damn it, that fragile male ego wants to hide under the desk now.

But writing isn’t like that.

When I look at Bruce’s work I see so much that I could relate to when I was much younger and stuff that resonates with me now on an entirely different level.

Go read the lyrics to Happy, Tunnel of Love, The River or Born To Run and tell me you don’t see the story he is telling. The Best Bloggers Are Storytellers.

How To Become A Better Storyteller

When my children ask me what I am doing I often tell them I am working on becoming a better storyteller. It is a personal and a professional goal.

My grandfathers were among the finest storytellers I have ever known and if god smiles upon me one day I will be half as skilled as they were.

I want to be the kind of storyteller that can say something like “I am going to shave your ass bald” and not be questioned because it just makes sense.

Please tell me I am not the only person who has heard that expression and wondered what the hell the person was saying. Were they trying to be literal with me and if so, should I be concerned.

Take aside my macho demeanor and belief that it will take drugs or an army to subdue me so that you can shave my ass and then tell me if I should even care.

What is the harm in it?

I know, old Jack is over thinking things but not from a communication perspective because from that angle it makes sense to look at the words we put down and ask if the reader understands them.

Words that are understood are practically useless and in some cases, dangerous.

5 More Songs

  1. Tales of Ulysses- Cream
  2. The Man’s Too Strong- Dire Straits
  3. Let ‘Em In- Wings
  4. I Can’t Quit You Baby- Led Zeppelin
  5. Thunderstruck- AC/DC

I am not writing for the sake of blogging. I am blogging for the sake of writing because this blog is where I hone my skills and prepare for the dreams I am trying to turn into reality.

Do You Miss Old Fashioned Blogging?

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Washington, District of Columbia. Crowd at President Abraham Lincoln's second inauguration http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/cwp2003006092/PP/
Washington, District of Columbia. Crowd at President Abraham Lincoln’s second inauguration
http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/cwp2003006092/PP/

I wasn’t going to write tonight because a few hours back I went on a writing tear and put out about 10,000 words, but I probably only published around 2,000 or so.

Not really sure because I wasn’t trying to figure out how much content I could produce. There was no race or contest to be won today, it was just one of those times where I wrote because I had to get things out.

It was old fashioned blogging, the kind where you write not because you want a book deal or to become a brand ambassador but because you are compelled to write.

The kind of moment where you write because it hurts to keep it all in and so you put your pen to paper or finger to keyboard and let it fly.

Post by TheJackB.

Sometimes I feel foolish talking about the good old days of blogging. It feels silly to talk about a golden age as if it was so much better than now because in many ways today is superior.

But it is human nature to look back and think about how a time that lies just behind us was so much better and so here I am. Except this time around I am looking backwards and thinking about a time not long ago that was better.

I am thinking about some choices I made and wondering if I made the right choices because this current moment has been much harder than I ever would have guessed and I am confused by it. Confused because I never would have anticipated that it would be like this or that I would feel this way.

So I am using the blog to air out the space between my ears to see if maybe that provides some clarity. And I am writing things down because I promised myself that I would be cognizant of moments and take joy in the journey.

What Was Old Fashioned Blogging?

I think of it as a time when we were more interested in sharing stories. I think about a page on my first blog called Conversations With The Kids that is filled with stories that were created by things my children said or did.

People laughed and or cried along with those tales. Other parents nodded their heads because they understood, asked questions or shared advice because they had been there and done that or were about to go where I had been.

I need to make a page like that for this blog. I want to take those links and update them so that they can be found here. I suppose I could just provide a link to the children’s archive but I don’t think it is as good.

Confession: I Wanted To Add Some Fake Work to My Resume

It is true, I thought about making up some stuff to add to my resume but it is probably not what you are thinking of. A while back when I was in between jobs and looking for work I grew frustrated by the lack of responses and started thinking about ways to improve things.

One of my ideas was to pretend I was an actor and start adding lines to my resume that said I was Stormtrooper #3, Bad Detective #8 and guy in background.

I thought it might be fun to say I was the star of some failed Karaoke videos and infomercials too but I couldn’t bring myself to add these things to the resume because I was concerned with the consequences.

Even though I thought it might be fun I was worried that something like that would tarnish people’s opinions and so I didn’t do it.

But sometimes I wonder about that and sometimes I wonder what happened to all of the readers who used to show up here. Did they move to RSS or email feeds?

Did I bore them into finding new places or has life just gotten too busy and it is too hard to be on all these different platforms.

Yeah, sometimes I miss old fashioned blogging.

What Happens When Your Parents Die?

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My siblings and brother-in-laws know that when my father dies his tools will be passed along to me. There are some other items that are important to him and to me that will be passed down.

With some luck, good medical care and effort on his part that won’t happen for a long time but it might be sooner than we would like. Might be sooner than we think and that is why my father sat down with me to talk about what happens when he dies and what happens when mom dies.

It is not the easiest conversation to have. Are we ever ready to say goodbye to our parents? I am fortunate to not know the answer yet, but I have many friends who have already experienced the loss of one or both parents.

What Happens To My Children If I Die?

I have thought about that quite a bit and even got paid to blog about it but this conversation with my dad was harder than I would have expected it to be.

Maybe it is because his health isn’t what it could be and I have seen some big changes in him. Maybe it is because I know that he is just a man and not superman.

I learned that firsthand when he had a major heart attack and almost died. That was a big part of the early days of my blogging career. He obviously survived and here we are, almost ten years later.

But there are some scars/memories from those days. You don’t forget what it is like to see your father unconscious and breathing because a machine is making sure he does so.

You see things like that and wonder what would happen if the power went out.

I remember talking to him and telling him about the grandchildren. I remember holding his hand and then looking at it next to mine.

When I was a boy his hands were gigantic and then I blinked and learned our hands were the same size.

Beeps and whistles came from the machines and some sort of whirring noise accompanied his breathing but squeezing his hand did nothing, there was no squeeze in return.

An Important Conversation

It is an important conversation, this one he and I had. Mom and he purchased their plots many years ago. I know where they will be buried, but there are no caskets yet.

They are talking about buying them soon because they don’t want my siblings and I to have to pay for any part of a funeral. It is appreciated, their thinking and planning here.

But it feels a bit weird to think about it and to realize again that my generation has moved up a notch on the generation ladder. We don’t sit at the kids table any more, we are too big for that.

I look at him and I see two different men. There is my father now and the man I used to greet at the door when I was a little boy. One has a full head of hair, glasses and is younger than I am and the other is the guy he is now.

Bald and a bit more wrinkled but the same bright blue eyes. The same eyes that give off that icy glare when he is angry.

Lately the folks have been really making me crazy because some of what they do and say is stuff that I watched my grandparents do. I remember when my parents would sometimes complain about that and how one or both would say, “they are old.”

Well, my parents act like old people now. Not every time and not with everything, but they have their moments.

Role Modeling For The Future

It is not as uncommon as it once was for my contemporaries to have buried mom or dad. More than a just a few of my friends have lost a parent.

I have been to the funerals. I have sent the cards and done what I could to support them in their mourning.

What I do now will be seen by my children. They’ll see how I treat my parents and it will stick with them. It is a teaching moment that is important to me and not just because I want them to treat me well when I am old.

It is so very surreal to me. In a few moments I’ll go upstairs, grab dinner and then watch The Wolf Of Wall Street. I’ll look around the room at a big screen TV, satellite receiver and cordless phones and then think about our old Black and White television, rotary phones and the time before answering machines.

We are not at that place yet where we expect the end to come imminently. It would be a shock if it happened today, tomorrow or the immediate future, but we are closer to the end than the beginning so preparing for the future makes sense.

Feels very strange.