What Do Father’s Fear?

Ice Climber
What do father’s fear is a question that has stuck with me for years but I am not entirely sure why. My kids assumed I wasn’t afraid of anything.

When the elder was about four he told me that if bad people broke into the house I was to kill them dead. Truth is he has always known that dear old dad has very few fears.

Remember When I Punched That Wolf In The Face should give you a good indication of that. Bigfoot used to scare me, but I was a child then and that was only after I saw him almost beat the Six Million Dollar Man.

Once I knew that Steve Austin could take him I wasn’t afraid any more and I certainly haven’t been afraid for years. Hell I wear a size 12 triple E shoe, not as big as many but big enough to give you the kind of kick in the ass you’ll remember.

What do father’s fear?

Well we fear things happening to our children or people we love. We fear not being able to protect them or help them. We fear hearing things like She Broke My Penis, ok that is not true. We use that story to remind our teenage son that his mouth has gotten him in trouble his entire life.

But we refrain from telling him that dad has suffered from the same problem.

What Do We Have Control Over?

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. “Mark Twain

Flip through the pages and posts here and you’ll see ample evidence of my insouciant approach to life but don’t mistake that to mean I am never serious because I am.

Sometimes life and parenting feels like a combination of circus and game show which I suppose is part of why I am mix silly in with the serious.  It is too easy to get caught up in fear and worry about what could happen.

I tell my kids much of life is balancing fear versus reality and that is part of why I can be so damn silly. There are lots of serious moments where it feels like it would be easier to cry than laugh.

Yet I have always found that when you can find a reason to laugh it helps manage the rough spots and that is really what Twain is talking about.

Only a fool or a sociopath says they are never afraid.

We have limited control in life. Much of what happens is outside of our control so what we are really talking about is how we respond to what happens.

So I teach my children to try to be proactive when possible and that when you can’t you just do the best you can. And I teach them to remember lying do when things get hard is not an option.

Resistance to fear is about learning how to move forward when you want to pull the covers over your head. It is about doing what is required.

What Do Father’s Fear?

If you want to know what scares me I am more worried about ordinary, stupid things than the really horrible stuff. That means I worry more about my kids falling out of a tree and breaking their neck than kidnappers.

I worry more about them getting into a car with a friend who is drunk or high than pedophiles. I worry more about them doing something stupid than getting shot at school.

Not saying any of the other stuff is impossible but I operate off of the numbers and statistically speaking some things have a greater possibility of happening than others.

If I have one fear that bothers me more than others it is one I mentioned above. It is of something happening and my not being there to protect my loved ones.

I don’t focus on it because it is not based on rational thought and there is no benefit to worrying about things that haven’t happened.

What do you think? What frightens you?

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Comments

  1. Lardavbern  My apologies for the delayed response. It is definitely natural to worry about them. I worry about parents who say they are never concerned with what their kids are doing and I have heard a few say it.

  2. I think I am like you. I don’t sit around worrying about kidnappers or similar type of potential problems. However, I do worry about my children and potential problems they may have.

  3. elleroy15  It is way too easy to get caught up in the news cycle and begin to believe that all is going to hell. I just refuse to do it, no point, no purpose.

    Might be fun to be the interesting family.

  4. elleroy15 says:

    There is so much to be afraid of nowadays. Or perhaps it just seems so since everything is being reported on cable news 24/7. But like you, for me, it’s the little things; the things I can’t be there to prevent or control.  But I try not to think about it too much either. It could become overwhelming. 
    And Bigfoot? I was at a garden center the other day and they had a life size Bigfoot statue. I was thinking about getting that thing and sticking it in my front yard. That should ward off fear. Or at least confirm to my neighbors that we’re the “interesting” family.

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