Father’s Day, Lurkers & 99 Things That Matter

They lost their fathers three years ago, weeks apart but close enough to make me wonder about coincidence, connections and more. They are people who have been a part of my life for so long now I cannot remember a time when they were not.

I think about them around this time of year but I never wonder if they know I love them, each in a different way but love nonetheless.

The day approaches and I haven’t made any plans and I am not really sure if I will. Some of it is because I am not a fan of the day any more than I am one of Mother’s or Valentine’s Day.

Maybe it is because I don’t like being told when I should remember to celebrate those who brought me into the world or those I love.

Is it coincidence that Fire and Rain is playing now or that I am thinking of those who have moved on to wherever or whatever comes next?

Maybe.

I don’t spend too much time thinking about these things but when I do I take the message and do something with it. Might be real or it might just be in my head.

Except the thing is I can’t help but believe there is something more because when I look at this and close my eyes I always know who is looking back at me and I remember that somethings can’t be explained until they have been experienced.

Lurkers And Blog Comments

Ten years of blogging and the more things change the more they stay the same. We have the same conversations about how to build an active comment section and how to gain new subscribers.

When it doesn’t happen the way we hope we find ourselves wrapped up in questions about why one blog is better than another and sometimes it leads to some nasty thoughts in your head or maybe that is just me.

Maybe my ego wreaks havoc when I look at other blogs and wonder how someone who can’t write as well as I can is doing better. Most of the time I am good at maintaining some perspective and reminding myself that most of the time success is subjective.

But I understand the concerns and thoughts about the lack of comments. I am always happy when I get more comments on posts, it always feel good but it is never what drives me.

That is because I love writing and because when I share posts like this it is cathartic and it helps remind me about how far I have come.  Life is about moments and small victories and being able to share those with the people who mean the most to us.

Perspective comes from a variety of places and posts like the one Oren shared about discovering he has stage four lung cancer.

Things That Matter

The Facebook dadblogger community has rallied around Oren as have many of his and his family’s loved ones. We have done our best to provide whatever support we can.

It includes a fundraiser to help Oren and his family. If I can geek it up a bit it reminds me of  a quote from  Return Of The King.

“Come, Mr. Frodo!’ he cried. ‘I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”

I have been lucky  enough not to have had any major health issues but I have faced some other challenges that were significant and life changing.

What I have learned from those is that sometimes you have to ask for help because the burden you are carrying is too damn big to deal with by yourself.

It wasn’t easy for me to do and it was harder for me to admit that I couldn’t carry the load by myself but I learned.

If there is a lesson I want my children to learn it is to appreciate good health and to understand the importance of giving back. I don’t want them to do it because of karma or because it looks good on college applications.

I want them to do it because I want them giving back is a core value of ours and that when we give something without expectation it feels better.

Van Morrison is singing about sailing Into The Mystic now so I think it is time for me to follow.

Be good to each other.