Spock: I will go with you, Captain.
James T. Kirk: No, I need you on the bridge.
Spock: I can not allow you to do this. It is my function aboard the ship to advise you in making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment.
James T. Kirk: You’re right! What I am about to do, it doesn’t make sense, it’s not logical, it is a gut feeling! I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I can do. The Enterprise and her crew needs someone on that chair who knows what he’s doing. That’s not me. It’s you, Spock. -Â Star Trek Into Darkness
Sometimes I wish I had my own Mr. Spock and if I did I imagine he would point out the picture above doesn’t have the same actors who recited the lines below but I am ok with that.
At the moment I feel very much like Captain Kirk, I don’t know what to do only what I can do. I don’t see it as an indictment of my skills as a father or who I am as a person just something that describes the moment and in some ways who I am.
I could give you a long story about why I feel out of sorts now and how it frustrates me. I could tell you about the people I am frustrated with and why I want to slap a few but what good what that do.
Those who I want to slap are men and I suppose it is worth mentioning that where I come from being slapped is considered a serious insult. A real man would be punched with a fist.
Don’t waste time trying to read anything into what any of that means, just accept that the guys I am irritated with are people I have little respect for and move on. They don’t deserve any more time than that.
Â Star Trek & Parenting
Flip through the pages here and you’ll see I am not a fan of gimmicks. I am not the guy who does list posts about all of the similarities between Star Trek and parenting.
This post isn’t going to be the exception to the rule either but I will say that I have been lost in thought aboutÂ Kirk’s last line in the quote above.
I couldn’t sleep Saturday night so I flipped the movie on and watched it again and that line jumped out at me. I am in the midst of an extended transition and I am doing the best I can to make things work.
This Isnâ€™t How I Planned It.
Life is very different in so many ways from what I thought it would be like, some better and some worse. I am in the midst of trying to make some hard choices and I got Monty Hall askingÂ What Door Will You Choose?
But the thing is that we are not granted prescience, at least not the sort that gives us a complete picture of what happens when you take door number one instead of the box.
You can’t know for certain how your choices will turn out without taking the leap of faith into darkness. I don’t have a problem with that but the Mr. Spock side of me wants to operate off of logical decisions. He doesn’t like operating off of gut instinct and well, Kirk doesn’t do that.
And there is more Kirk in me than Spock so this five year mission to boldly go where man hasn’t gone before tends to follow that path.
Teach ChildrenÂ To Make Smart Decisions
My kids go back to school in a week to start their final year at their respective schools which I suppose is at the root of this uncertainty.
Because one year from now they will be starting middle and high school but I don’t know what schools they will be at.
What I know is that I have worked hard to try to teach them how to make smart decisions and that I have done my best to be a good role model. I have worked hard to try to be the best father I can be and there have been these moments where I have wanted to scream because it has felt like the choices I made fell flat.
I know how fast a year can go and I am concerned about not knowing what schools they will be at. It doesn’t mean I am not working my ass off to get some answers and to figure it out or that I am truly worried that we won’t.
Experience has taught me that we’ll get it done. The answers will be found and we will make it work because that is what we do.
But I would be lying if I said there wasn’t some turmoil inside between my internal Spock and Kirk. I don’t know what to do, I only know what I can do and I am going to do my best to make sure that gut feeling works out for us as best it can.
Sometimes this parenting business can be really tough. What do you think?