The Senseless & The Silly


Can you see me sailing my ghost ship across the bay…

Sometimes I imagine I am fighting pirates, it is me against a dozen of them and I never know if I am one too. I just know I am the good guy and that I win because I fight harder than they do.

It helps that I am stronger and that I know how to cut down chandeliers that fall on them or can use a rope to swing across the ship and knock some of them down.

Probably helps more that it is my dream so I am in control of what goes on inside it.

I spend more than just a few moments living inside the world inside my head. I imagine it comes with being a writer but I really don’t know because I have only been inside my own.

Sometimes I tell the Shmata Queen I have been inside her head and suggest she organize things a little bit. That doesn’t always go over well nor does it always go over poorly.

The Senseless & The Silly

My daughter tells me she knows about true love. She says she knows it is when you never fight and you never grow tired of looking at whomever you are in love with.

I smile and ask her if she has ever seen her grandparents argue and she tells me she has seen them do it more than once. I tell her that both sets are on the verge of celebrating fifty years and she admits that her definition might not be perfect yet but insists it is close.

She makes me smile and I have to laugh because she is adept at trying to adjust her arguments to the conditions she finds herself in. It reminds me of what I do and since I consider it an endearing trait she can have it too. Hopefully others will agree, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t because we’ll just find people will better taste and sense. 🙂

Three large cups of coffee into the day and I am finally awake, don’t know why but Saturday morning soccer games seem to wear me out. Something about waking up at 6 and getting to the field at 7:30 on a weekend just sucks it out of me, don’t know why but it does.

We are talking about her game and how she played and she asks me why my smile is so big. I can’t explain to her what a pleasure it is to watch her and her brother play in a way that she’ll understand.

And I really can’t tell her I find it funny to compare how she and him tell their stories. She won’t understand I am not comparing them in a bad way nor will she appreciate that I see it as representative of gender differences.

She’ll give me so many little details about things that happened, especially about what the girls on her team and the other said or did and he won’t.

There is nothing wrong with that but it reminds me of some of the stories she tells me about what is going on at school. I don’t always follow everything that happens. Her mother gets it in ways I just don’t.

When my son Steiner the minor tells a tale I follow because it is the male version and it just makes sense to me. I understand the connections but sometimes the comments about looks and how girls interpret them just throws me.

Last week I asked her if the dirty look she got from someone else was caused because the other girl had gas and I got a full eye roll and a the female look of death. I wasn’t trying to be difficult, I was just being honest.

I’ll Make His Teeth Rattle

My girl looks at me and asks me what I would do in her position. It is in reference to some of her teammates actions. I tell her I would ignore them and play harder.

She asks me if that works for me and I say most of the time it has. I tell her that if you play hard your teammates will notice and respond. I don’t tell her it hasn’t always worked because that opens another can of worms.

But I mention sometimes life is unfair and you just deal with whatever comes your way.

True love comes back up and she asks me if I have ever really, really, really, really loved someone. I tell her she has forgotten five ‘reallys’ and that she should  two ‘verys’ and go silent.

She asks why I am quiet and I tell her I wasn’t sure if she was done. She says no, she tells me she wants to know if I loved someone so much it hurt and I ask her what prompted the question.

A couple of giggles come from her and she tells me she is going to have a boyfriend and true love. I smile and tell her he is going to learn that sometimes love hurts and she asks how.

I tell her I am going to shake him so hard his teeth rattle.

She laughs and tells me I am not allowed to hurt her boyfriends. I tell her that she is too young to worry about boyfriends now and that this is a time for having fun.

She laughs again, “Daddy, you are ridiculous. I don’t want a boyfriend now, I am only ten. But sometimes girls like to think about these things.”

When I ask her what other stuff girls like to think about she tells me that if I don’t understand women now I never will. Somewhere in the back of my head I start thinking about strangling a Disney executive or whomever on television filled her head with this idea.

Her iPod goes off and I watch as she starts to Facetime with her best friend. Seconds ago I was important, now I am forgotten.

Time Moves Too Quickly

I watch her walk towards her room and picture a slightly taller and older version of herself. The gestures will be the same and in many ways so will the conversation.

I am not ready for that day and don’t feel like dealing with the household chores yet so I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.

Two pirates are about to discover this is not going to their day…

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  1. Larry November 9, 2014 at 8:13 am

    Hearing the way your 10-year old daughter talks reminds me of how much more mature girls are than boys at that age. As I type his my son is calling out I found chicken land – MIncraft, don’t ask. I wonder if he ever has thought of true love even once in his life. My bet is no!

    • The JackB November 9, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      They definitely think differently than we do. There are moments where it is clear that my son and daughter are related because they respond similarly to some things and then there are moments where you know damn well she is a girl and he is a boy.

  2. Julie November 8, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    I’m pretty sure you understand women very well or at least do an outstanding job at faking it. Just in case I am wrong I see you have a young lady who has you covered 🙂

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