The desk I am working at isn’t as big as I would like it to be and consequently it leans more towards being a magnet for clutter than a place for thought and organization.
Over at my Facebook page a cousin and a friend are arguing about who is accountable for the lack of peace in the Middle East and I am contemplating whether people would find any humor in my saying Bill Cosby hasn’t raped me…yet.
When I take time to sift through my feed there is still a mix of commentary about Ferguson, Eric Garner and whether Mark Wahlberg deserves to be pardoned.
What I don’t see much of is a middle ground in which people are open to possibilities outside of those they have created inside their minds, many of which are based upon limited personal experiences.
In the midst of the shouting I wonder if it isÂ safeÂ for me to share my opinion let alone worthwhile. I can’t see how the police can justify what happened to Eric Garner and can’t understand how people say Michael Brown wasn’t partially responsible for his own death.
What Wahlberg did was reprehensible, shameful and disgusting but he did so as a youth and from the very little I know of the man it appears he has turned his life around so I ask the question of where we draw our lines.
There are some acts that stay with us forever but the beliefs that led us there may not so if I suggest Wahlberg might have changed his ways and become a better man I have to be open to the possibility that Michael Brown might have done so too.
Sadly we won’t get the answer to that question.
Time Marches On
I am not yet at a place where I absolutely have to wear reading glasses to see the fine print or to work on the computer yet I can see that moment coming faster than I want it to.
When the room is dark and or my eyes are drier than I like I notice that reading glasses are useful and beneficial which leads me to question whether it makes sense to wear them all the time or just when I really feel like I have to have them.
The children have begun to notice that sometimes it takes my eyes a moment longer to focus on the small print and they jump at the chance to read things to me.
Sometimes it is because they are trying to be helpful and sometimes because they are teasing me.
Last night my daughter wandered downstairs at 11 and said she couldn’t sleep. I told her I would use the same trick I did when she was a baby. I had her climb on my lap and put her head on my shoulder and then I rocked back and forth.
It wasn’t as easy as it once was to do so. Instead of being able to hold her like a football I had to move so her legs could spill across my lap and over the chair.
For a moment she cooperated with me and I remembered the baby girl who used to softly snore inside my right ear and then the moment disappeared.
“Daddy, this isn’t comfortable, I am going back to my room.”
Moments later her brother appeared downstairs so that he could finish preparing his lunch for the next day at school. When I asked him if he needed my help reaching into the pantry he laughed and I watched as he stretched ever so slightly so that he could reach the top shelf.
It appears his days of requiring a chair or stool are long since gone too.
Time is marching on and it won’t be that long before his voice is as deep as mine and his height the same or greater. For the moment I have the advantage there but judging by his over sized feet it really will be just a moment before that changes.
How Big Is The Space You Work In?
It is fair to say part of my aversion to outlines is the size of the space I prefer to work in. Giant, open spaces have always called out me and if I were to become a very wealthy man it is probable that one day you’ll find me working on my ranch somewhere in Texas and just as probable that you will find me on a beach or in the mountains too.
In an ideal world I’ll have the luxury to pick writing spaces that lend themselves towards the mood I am in and the tone I am trying to set for whatever it is I wish to write about.
Back on Facebook they are still arguing and I have been accused of being a fence sitter, a liberal and a Republican. It makes me laugh to hear, read and see these things because there is very little I don’t have a strong opinion about.
But it is also not unusual for me to argue the other side of whatever position I have taken. I like challenging myself to defend my beliefs so that I can figure out what is based upon spoon fed material from my youth and what comes from other places.
I am just as arbitrary and illogical about some things as the next person about much but generally I can say I know why I believe as I do.
It makes me think about disruptive technologies.
In many ways I am a creature of habit and someone who prefers the known to the unknown but there is a part of me that loves to question why we do whatever it is we do and ask if there are better ways to do it.
It is tied into my desire to know how things work and to tinker and play with things to see what happens.
I fight the two wolves that feed on routine and disruption all of the time. This internal push to say we should change things exists but it is balanced to some extent by a desire not to change without knowing why we are doing whatever it is we are doing as we are.
Is it because it is the best way or because this is how it has always been done.
Last night I took off the reading glasses and left the computer so that I could put in another two hours on the court.
The younger guys carried most of the load but I contributed heavily to winning the first three games. It irked me to have to sit back and let things go that way but the older I get the harder it becomes to do some of those things so I have to play smarter.
But the mental part of the game is an area in which I continue to improve at a rapid rate so I wonder why it is that I couldn’t have had this mental improvement when my physical skills were at their peak and not on the decline.
And so I have become one more member of the echo chamber saying “If I knew then what I know now…”
Now if only I can get a bigger desk and space to work in…