Morning comes far too soon but 1 AM is the first moment I have had to throw some words upon the page so I’ll take the time to share that Count Basie quote again and think aloud with you.
If I trust my gut and listen to the little voice inside my head I can smile because I am on the verge of figuring out my story again. Two steps closer to determining what the next part of life is supposed to look like, where to live and how to live are tied into it and maybe even who to live with.
This is not a mid life crisis or me screaming into the wind because I am scared or angry.
Truth is I am a bit of both but mostly I am excited because I feel like I spent a chunk of time off track and now I am close to fixing that.
If you are among those who believe there are no mistakes or failures and that life is a journey through moments and time than you might see this as part of a journey.
I don’t really regret the time I spent doing these other things because they provided a foundation that wouldn’t otherwise exist and helped me grow in ways I never would have.
Doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of regret or questions I would ask of the world because they are there but I would be more concerned if they weren’t because that would indicate a significant change in person and character.
The Science Project
Part of the reason I am first getting to the computer at such a late hour is I spent a significant chunk of time helping my son, Steiner the minor with a science project.
A project that was not his alone but was also the province of multiple other 8th grade boys none of who had the good sense to start working as early as they should have upon it.
If they had begun a week before instead of a night I probably wouldn’t have spent until midnight trying to help my son figure out why bits and pieces of the project weren’t working as they should.
Nor would I have taken him to Home Depot at 10 PM on a school night but they didn’t begin when they should have and we needed some supplies.
So I marched him through the aisles and told him what I wanted him to look for and as we walked he asked me why I was smiling.
“I like this store. I like tools and I like places that provide me with things I can use to create.”
“Grandpa is a lot like that too.”
“Where do you think I got this from? My dad and I spent hours at the hardware store and worked on all sorts of projects together.”
“Do you think I’ll like tools as much as you guys do?”
“Yeah, it hasn’t completely kicked in yet but it will. You like building Lego sets and working with your hands. It feels good to know you fixed something yourself or created something that didn’t exist before.”
On the ride back home I started thinking about my favorite tools and it got me thinking about the joy of having a favorite hat. Not sure everyone will make or see the connection but there is real value in having something that provides service and utility and a good hat does that.
When I think about what I would do if I won the lottery I think about the hat I would take with me on the trips I would take around the world and the classes I would take to learn how to do more with my hands.
Wood working, metal shop and so much more.
The joy of creation calls to me.
What’s Your Story?
I have more than one answer to that. It varies from time to time and person to person. Really depends on what you are asking me and whether I think you deserve an answer.
Maybe it is about finding the people, places and things that make you feel alive and fill you a sense of purpose that is greater than yourself.
Might be a relationship in which you recognize that you and someone else are magical together or maybe it is just something about your career and what you want to do.
Lots of possibilities.
Told my son that one day my father’s tools will become mine and one day mine will become his. Hopefully it will be a 100 years from now but whenever it does come there will be happiness mixed with whatever sadness might accompany it.
That is because when you hold tools that were used to fix and create something, well that is magical. And every time you use one of those tools to build or repair it will be like the hands of the men who came before you will be a part of that moment too.
And that is part of my story.