How To Crash A Party
They tell me the secret to running a successful blog is to provide people with content they can use so I am here to do so.
Initially I was going to develop a blog post that told you how to have better sex through blogging but I realized I had already done that.
Besides we live during a time when specialization is the rule of the day.
So I thought about making this post about how to give a mind blowing orgasm to people who like to copulate while wearing rabbit suits but that seemed like an awkward title so I figured I out to tweak it a bit.
I came up with a modified Buzzfeed look that was close to 50 ways to give great head to your fetish wearing furry friends and realized I just couldn’t come up with 50 ways.
Dammit, that last line makes me sound like a lazy lover and who wants to be that.
You want to be the Casanova who works extra hard to please your partner so they look up at your sweat covered face and know that your persperation comes from the hard work you just put into trying to please them.
Dammit, don’t just lie on your back like a lump on a log expecting us to do all the work. Try pitching in a bit, give a little moan or something and make us feel like you are not thinking about doing the laundry or something.
Sometimes The Train Gets Derailed
Ever notice how you are reading a post and suddenly the whole thing takes a turn and you begin to wonder if the writer dropped acid, smoked a bowl and or drank a bottle of Everclear in the midst of writing it?
Hell, I never change directions. I write a post that follows a simple path, something that has a Â beginning, middle and and an end.
Hooray for chronological order.
Ok, I am lying. Sometimes I just write with reckless abandon and I don’t worry whether the reader will keep up, like what I am writing or appreciate it.
It is not always theÂ smartÂ way to write, at least not if you want to hold the attention of many readers but it is far more fun than always sticking to a structure.
I could write about how to crash a party or share stories about times I have done that. Some of you might enjoy those tales because they are fun, but sometimes it is more fun to just let the words flow from my fingertips with no destination in mind and no design.sometimes it is more fun to just let the words flow from my fingertips with no destination in mind and no design.Click To Tweet
About Those Lazy Lovers
In the age of the Internet when Facebook makes it both possible and probable to run into your past it is easy to come across a person who might have shared an intimate moment with you.
Hell, it has happened to me and at least once I looked at the screen and wondered if myÂ bad memoriesÂ mirrored hers or if even worse, myÂ good memoriesÂ didn’t reflect hers.
Believe me your average fragile male ego doesn’t want to discover that the time he made his pal scream “Oh My God” it wasn’t because she saw fireworks but because she desperately wanted to him to finish and leave because he was terrible.
It is entirely possible that it could have happened because sometimes we just don’t know. Believe me there was a time when someone didn’t realize that pulling and tugging on parts like you are trying to clean a stain isn’t very pleasant.
Nor is it funny to catch a man with your teeth and make some comment about it would be better with ketchup, but I digress.
Deliver What You Promise
You may have been warned that this post was likely to be a bit different than expected but that doesn’t mean I am not going to try to deliver what I promise.
This may not beÂ The 983rd Greatest Story Ever Told, but it certainly isn’t the worst either.
In a perfect world those of who are still reading are doing so because you find this entertaining and not because it is a trainwreck but I like to cover my bases so I have an audio component that provides some guidance for how to crash a party.
It has run here before, but some of you enjoyed it enough to request it again so your wish is my command. And with that I’ll leave you to it.
See you in the comments.
Susie August 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm
Haha. I get derailed all the time! Left field as ever but also spot on Jack!
jacksteiner August 14, 2015 at 10:28 am
It is kind of fun getting derailed, adds some surprise and mystery to life. 🙂