Told the Shmata Queen I want to take her away for a week or two or ten to get some answers to the questions we can answer and to escape some of the crap we can’t.
Thing is circumstances make that especially challenging.
Looked at her face across a Zoom meeting and snorted because circumstances again made me wonder if I ever could have imagined any of this.
Told her I could hear the goddamn bells ringing even when I tried to ignore them and finally said fuck it, no reason to ignore.
So I just went with it.
****
Opened up the electronic paper and watched the destruction and chaos and wondered how the fuck I am supposed to talk to my kids about this.
They are old enough to have real conversation and so we did, but damn if I didn’t feel crazed during it knowing others have a harder struggle than I do.
Doing My Part
I am doing my part to push back against the tide of hate and chaos.
Donating time and money, speaking out and trying to move others to understand.
Asked a few what they expect to happen when they tell people they can’t protest by taking a knee but it is ok for men of a different color to assemble with guns.
Showed them pictures of a kid who was suspected of murder sitting with handcuffs and another of George Floyd being murdered because he was suspected of a minor forgery.
They aren’t the only examples of inequality and that is the issue in a nutshell.
What has happened more than once has repeatedly done so time after time so you ask what it takes to affect change.
It is not an event limited to my fifty-some years on earth but one that precedes me, my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.
While there are distinct improvements some areas are the same as they ever were so how do I ask for patience if the non-violent is considered verboten too.
Diluting The Message
I don’t advocate for violence or think it is appropriate because it is diluting the message and too many innocent people get hurt.
But I understand why people go there and how it happens.
What would I do if I were in a position in which I felt unheard and incapable of getting people to listen.
Would I act any different.
Would I be as patient as some are when they are challenged for doing what I take for granted?
The answer is no.
I showed the kids the video of the truck driver in Oklahoma and my children said it would have taken me less than five minutes to have driven the truck around the car that was blocking it.
I like to believe it would have been longer than that, but ultimately I probably would have done so.
Unless I was reasonably certain of the consequences but that it is the thing, I can do so more safely.
****
It doesn’t take much for me to tan and for some people to ask if I am mixed, but that happens less than it used to when I had fewer responsibilities and spent more time outdoors.
Ultimately I look like another White guy to most people so I hear things. That sometimes includes comments about being Jewish so that I am reminded that to some I am only White when convenient.
I never forget that or that even that truth is something I can sometimes hide.
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