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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Things About Jack

Sounds Of My Youth

August 28, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

(Originally posted here)

Sometimes I wonder if I spend too much time dreaming. My thoughts flitter around this and that and here and there. In my mind I visualize myself in various places with various people.

Some of it is fantasy and some of is memory. I suppose that you could attribute this to being someone who enjoys creativity and storytelling.

The world is a very interesting place. I never run out of things to do, places to go or people to see. In many ways I am a boy in a man’s body. I love doing new things but I also like thinking about my past. I have many fine memories and I rather enjoy visiting them from time to time.

Certain smells and sounds remind me of the past. Some of them are bittersweet memories of people and places that are no longer part of my life, at least not in the way that they used to be.

For example for the first 28 years of my life my maternal grandparents lived in an apartment complex in West Hollywood.

I remember the drive from my parent’s house in the Valley through Laurel Canyon to Hollywood. If I close my eyes for a moment I can hear the sound of a Dodge Dart or a Chevy Impala Station Wagon. My father is driving. I am sitting right behind him watching his every move. My mother is stationed to the left of him, a younger sister between them and two more to the right of me.

If you watch me drive you can see some of the same gestures my father makes. Watch me get onto the freeway. My foot presses down on the accelerator and I crane my head to the far left, searching for oncoming traffic. I mutter to myself about the traffic around me, some of it is intelligible and some less so. Those are the words that I really strain to hear because my father is cursing the guy who doesn’t understand that you don’t get on the freeway doing 25 MPH or maybe it is the guy in the lime green Ford Pinto who hasn’t enough sense to signal before he switches lanes.

We aren’t on the freeway for all that long before we exit.You get off at Laurel Canyon and make a right. Go straight for a couple of miles and suddenly you are in the middle of the canyon surrounded by the Hollywood Hills. If you know where to look you can see the ruins of Harry Houdini’s home.

The houses are distinctly different from those in my neighborhood. There is a different feel to the area. I am too young to put my finger on it, but I am aware of it early on. The drive through the canyon is pleasant. Maybe it is part of why I enjoy fiction so much because it really feels like a transformation of worlds to me.

I rarely noticed the time in the canyon. One minute I was in the car and the next was spent finding a parking space in front of the building. Their apartment was on the third floor and overlooked the pool. I spent many pleasant hours eating lunch on their balcony and watching people swim.

But one of the things that sticks with me more than anything else was the sound that their front door made whenever it was opened or closed. I can’t really describe it so I won’t bother with an attempt other than to say that in my mind it is a very soothing sound.

I don’t even have to close my eyes to see the way it looked inside. When you opened the front door you stepped into the living room. To your right was a hallway that led to the two bedrooms and a bathroom.

In front of you was the dining room and off to the left lay the kitchen. The kitchen that didn’t have a dishwasher. Just off to the left of the front door was the door to the balcony. An end table was nearby. They stored decks of cards in it that my sisters and I would use to build houses or play games with.

We spent untold hours there. At a Passover seder I proposed marriage to my cousin. She was an older woman but I was a very mature six or maybe she was a very immature seven. One of these days I’ll have to ask her.

It is funny to me how these memories stick with me. Not funny in a humorous way, but funny in the way that just intrigues me. Sounds, sounds, sounds. So many routine noises that have so much meaning. In the years that have passed I find so many reminders. Certain staircases have a specific echo that makes me remember the days in which my father had the biggest hands of anyone I knew.

Dinners at my parent’s house where my mother suddenly realizes that she has forgotten to serve a dish remind me of an untold number of meals at which my grandmother did the same. Her expression and comments mirroring her mother’s.

It is times like this that I miss my grandmother’s little brother, my uncle. My dear uncle who would wait until the middle of the meal at grandma’s house to ask her what she had forgotten. There was always this mischievous gleam in his eye that I recognized. I might have been a kid, but I was a big brother and that meant that I knew a little something about teasing a sister.

He died unexpectedly in 1985. More sounds at my grandparents. Only this time there is silence. My grandmother is clearly upset but she is hiding her feelings. I am old enough to understand that she is trying to avoid upsetting my sisters. It doesn’t occur to me that maybe she is trying to protect me too.

It is not something that occurs to me because just a few months prior to this I was in Israel. Ten weeks abroad without my parents and I feel like an adult and so I help to maintain the silence there. It is almost unnatural, this silence. There are too many of us and it is just not that quiet.

Later that evening the silence is broken. It is the sound of someone crying. It is my grandmother. She is in the bathroom and she is trying to be quiet, but there is an echo in there. There is an echo that made the children laugh because if you didn’t use the fan it was very obvious what was going on in there. And lord knows that potty humor is high comedy for the five to ten year-old crowd.

Sounds, more sounds and more memories. The complex is built around a large oval swimming pool, an intentional or perhaps unintentional amphitheatre. Voices carry and bits and pieces of conversations float up to the third floor.

Some are stories of fleeing the Nazis or the Cossacks, some are tales of how smart the grandchildren are. Today whenever I hear someone bragging about their grandchildren I remember the conversations from around the pool. Sometimes the sound of someone diving into a pool remind me of the pool at my grandparent’s complex.

This October it will be nine years since they left Hollywood for the greener pastures of Camarillo. I have tried to develop new memories there but it is not the same. I still find myself listening for those old familiar sounds. The screendoor doesn’t squeak and since they no longer live in an apartment there are no footsteps to listen to in a dark staircase.

My grandfather no longer watches for our arrival from the balcony. He stopped smoking cigars when I was about 22 so there are no ashtrays to help stimulate olfactory memories.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandparents dearly and I really have found some special memories in their new home. But it is not the same. They have been there for almost a decade and I still refer to it as the new place.

Sounds, sounds, sounds. I listen for them sometimes consciously and sometimes otherwise but they just aren’t there anymore.

Filed Under: Random Thoughts, Things About Jack

Do You Live Your Dreams

August 21, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

This is one of those questions that is worth asking repeatedly:

My question dear reader is this, Do you live your dreams or dream your life?

Filed Under: Things About Jack

Nobody can say that running 135 miles in the desert is healthy

August 12, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Now this is the sort of thing that I’d like to say I have done. It is an Ultramarathon through Death Valley. To my mind it is among the ultimate examples of mind over matter. Take a look at these facts from the CNN story:

135 miles through Death Valley, California

Start: 280 feet below sea level
Finish: 8,300 feet on Mount Whitney

Race time limit: 60 hours, 48-hour cut-off to get a belt buckle

Course pavement exceeds 200 degrees F, same temp used to slow cook a pot roast

Dangers: Heat stroke, organ failure, hallucinations, huge blisters, severe dehydration

Some of you will read that and think that the people who do it are crazy and perhaps they are, but there is something about it that really captures my imagination. It is unlikely that I will ever attempt it. Running is not where I excel, or should I say long distance running.

But I am still interested in doing the Ironman. That is a different sort of test of endurance that I think I am better suited for and would be just as proud to finish.

Filed Under: Things About Jack

Do Men Cry?

August 11, 2009 by Jack Steiner 8 Comments

The dark haired beauty looked up at me and asked me if daddies ever cry. I smiled back at her and said that sometimes they do. She looked up at me and asked why she hadn’t ever seen me cry. I smiled again and asked her why.

“Abba, it is ok to cry. It doesn’t mean that you are a baby,” she replied. And with that she pulled my head down and kissed my black eye. For a moment I stopped and stared at her, not really sure what to say. So I hugged her and told her that she was right.

And then I thought back to a post I wrote five years ago called The tears that do not fall. In that post I related the story of how a 14 year-old boy swore that he wouldn’t cry anymore. That post stands out for a number of reasons. It was among the first in which I really opened up here. It was among the first that made me realize that there was far more potential here than I had ever realized.

It stands out because it is our character for me. I suppose If you only know me through the blogosphere that might sound strange, but in person I am relatively guarded and careful with what I am willing to share. I don’t open up very easily. Too many years of doing otherwise.

Five years later I still rarely cry. It is better than it was. It is easier than it was, but it is still rare. In fact, I don’t think that anyone has really seen me cry in person since I was that teenage boy. I won’t say that it is impossible or unlikely for things to change. It is a safe bet to say that one of these days that will change.

But it is not going to come easily. I look back at that post and five years later much of it is familiar, too familiar. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t see crying as a panacea for all that troubles me. I don’t think that it is going to fix all of the challenges I may face at a particular time. I am not convinced that it is always going to make me feel better.

But I think that it will help. I think that some things that bother me may disappear or at least fade away more quickly. I think that it might make it easier to let go. For now I suppose that I will just have to wait and see what happens.

Filed Under: Things About Jack

My Dream Job

August 2, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

If you ask me, the world renowned philosopher known as Jack, many things in life are backwards. We spend enormous amounts of our childhood in school being instructed about many important topics. It is hard to argue against education and I am certainly not going to do so.

But the hard thing about a school education is that it doesn’t always prepare you for the real world. It doesn’t give you the sort of life experiences that you can only find outside of the classroom and in some ways that is tragic.

The human life span is very brief. You are born, you hit middle age and then you die. It doesn’t provide much time for you to venture out into the world and learn about who you really are and what you like. Far too often you find that circumstances require you to spend your time working in places and situations that are not suited for you.

There are a variety of reasons why this happens, but not the least of which is that sometimes you cannot know until you try. You may think that you were born to be a teacher but until you hit the classroom and get real life experience all you have is your suppositions and expectations.

Most of us do not grow up knowing exactly what we want to do. Most of us have an idea or two, but we are not really sure so we just muddle our way into new things and hope that they work out.

I am no different. When I graduated college I had this dream of becoming a sports writer. It didn’t happen. I am not a sports writer and haven’t been one in years. Can’t even claim to be a writer who moonlights as a sports writer, a la Mitch Albom.

But that is ok. I am not some 25 year old kid who wishes that he could cover the Lakers or Dodger’s beat.

These days I have slightly different dreams of what and how I want to spend my time, not to mention, with whom. Life is a funny sort of creature.

I am a native Angeleno. Forty years spent in the great City of Angels and I have never cared at all about being a part of the business. Know all sorts of people who are. Writers, directors, producers, agents, I have friends in every category, some of who are quite successful.

And until recently I never cared one whit about being a part of that world. But a while ago something changed. A while back I realized that I really enjoy writing these Fragments of Fiction pieces.

I really enjoy trying to tell a story. It makes me very happy and I think that it could be fulfilling. So suddenly I find myself thinking that writing is really where I want to be. I find myself thinking about making a movie. I find myself thinking about how cool it would be to translate the things I see inside my head onto paper and then onto film.

So now I find myself wondering if I should pursue the dream. I don’t care about being famous, in fact I don’t really want to be. I want to be able to live my life without concern about being tabloid fodder. But it would be very cool to write a book and or a screenplay. Now I want the chance and the experience.

I may find that I hate it, or aspects of it. But I know for certain that I won’t ever get tired of telling stories. It won’t grow old for me. So now all I have to do is figure out a way to do it and fifty percent of my dreams will come true.

Filed Under: Things About Jack

Living The Bachelor Life

June 24, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I am man, hear me roar. Watch as I burp and scratch and revert back to my bachelor life. The family is as they say….Gone!

Here I sit at the computer, unshaved and unwashed. There are a couple of dishes in the sink and newspapers spread across the table. Last night I stayed up well past the witching hour and thoroughly enjoyed the silence and the solitude of my man cave.

I woke up this morning sans alarm, wife and children. In other words I woke up as nature intended. For a moment I wondered if it was all a dream and then I remembered that it wasn’t. With a yawn, a stretch and a big smile I rolled out of the bed and strolled through the house.

The quiet, oh, the blessed quiet.

I paused and looked around and smiled. It won’t be long before I miss the chaos and the racket. It won’t be long before it is almost too quiet, but for now I am doing my happy dance around this joint.

Truth is that it is not particularly messy or cluttered. I don’t like that much, but I don’t have to be the role model so I don’t have to do it all immediately. I don’t have to do anything that I do not want to do.

For a while I was tempted to get in the car and go somewhere. Last night around midnight I played with thoughts of going to Vegas. A short while ago there was no one who could play, but now that life has happened and some of the boys are single possibilities exist.

So at a few minutes past 12 I called and asked if was up for a road trip. I had a full tank of gas and offered to drive. He laughed and told me that he wanted to, but had to be at a dinner meeting today.

I said no problem and he laughed again. He believed that I could get us there and back in time for the meeting, but said that he didn’t think he’d be rested enough for the meeting.

And that my friends is the difference between who we were twenty years ago and who we are now.

Of course I should stipulate that I considered the state of my personal economy and remembered that Obama and company haven’t offered to bail me out. But I’d be lying if I didn’t think about how time at the blackjack table could solve that. With a little luck and a short run I could provide my own bailout.

Maybe next time.

Instead I consoled myself by playing Viva Las Vegas while writing a brief and sending out 1,876,993 emails for work. And then for good measure I wrote three posts that I immediately deleted.

And now I sit here, staring at the computer screen, wondering whether I feel like cooking or barbecuing my dinner. It is summer in LA and in a short time the weather will be perfect for dining outdoors.

All I have to say is that some days it is good to be a man.

Filed Under: Men and Women, Things About Jack

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