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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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  • About Jack
    • Other Places You Can Find Me
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Useful Information

The Best Clothing You’ll Ever Own

April 15, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

The hard working team here at The Shack is constantly in search of products that you can use to make your life easier. Every day without fail our crack team scours the world to locate that one item that will add value to your day and improve the quality of your life.

Many of you may remember the pure joy and pleasure that my favorite towel has brought me.

Have I ever told you how relaxing it is to wear it. My entire being is filled with a sense of peace and harmony.

And have I mentioned how durable it is.

Hundreds of washes later it is as soft as ever and that is saying something, it is not easy being green.

It is indeed a quality product.

I don’t want to break my arm patting myself on the back, but I have a keen eye for fashion. And it is that keen eye that is responsible for locating the next item that I am about to show you.
In laymen’s terms we call it a wearable sleeping bag, far superior to that Snuggie rag.

But in reality it is an exceptional outfit that you can wear for business or casual events. It is highly functional and provides extreme utility. If you are one of the poor shlubs who is forced to live in a colder climate this is the kind of clothing you need.

Known as the Lippi Selk Bag it is available in a variety of colors and will keep you warm in semi-frigid temperatures. Please note the helpful safety tip from the FAQs:
What About Going To The Toilet? Is There A Fly?No. When visiting the toliet the Selk’Bag should be unzipped and pulled down.
Since I know that not everyone reads everything twice let me reiterate the importance of unzipping your bag prior to relieving yourself. The last thing that you want to do is have to deal with the humiliation of explaining to your mom or dry cleaner that you forgot how to use a zipper.
For those who have missed out on past reviews of useful products here is a list of links that you might find to be useful.

  • The Jumpsnap
  • How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
  • The Cubicle Celebrates 40 Years
  • How Velcro Was Invented
  • My New Desk- I Have To Get One
  • London Restaurant Tries To Solve Gas Crisis
  • Who Wants To Buy An Artificial Foreskin
  • Untapped Sources of Energy
  • The Mangroomer
  • Business Cards That Will Get You Business
  • Medical Technology- The future is now
  • Inventions You have Got T0 Have (Includes the ladies urinal, toilet forehead support system and much more.)
  • The Nose Pouch
  • How Much Would it Cost To Build The Death Star
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Filed Under: Exercise, Useful Information

Lose Weight With The Greatest Exercise Ever

April 8, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

One of the greatest sources of joy we have is our ability to help people. Every day we look for opportunities to help others, which is part of why we created the Useful Information category. And now I am pleased to share with you our latest discovery.

If you spend any time reading the news you know that America and the world at large is suffering from an obesity epidemic. Far too many of us have succumbed to the scourge of a few extra pounds. It is no secret to most of you that carrying some extra weight can cause a number of health issues.

Fortunately we have a solution for you. We have located an amazing piece of exercise equipment that you can use to help you shed those unwanted pounds. My friends, I am pleased to introduce you to the last piece of exercise equipment you are ever going to need to buy, the JumpSnap.

Every time I look at The JumpSnap I shake my head in frustration. Why didn’t I come up with the idea of developing a jump rope that comes without the rope. Finally there is a way to look like a jump rope pro without fear of tripping over the rope. No longer will you worry about being the only kid on town who can’t do the Double Dutch or crossover like Sugar Ray.

It really is amazing. But the fine folks who developed this amazing device left out one solid piece of advice. An exercise program such as this requires a great diet, which is why I recommend that in conjunction with the JumpSnap you enjoy the Wish Sandwich diet.

For those who have missed out on past reviews of useful products here is a list of links that you might find to be useful.

How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
What Not to Do-Snakebites
The Cubicle Celebrates 40 Years
How Velcro Was Invented
My New Desk- I Have To Get One
London Restaurant Tries To Solve Gas Crisis
Who Wants To Buy An Artificial Foreskin
Untapped Sources of Energy
The Mangroomer
Business Cards That Will Get You Business
Medical Technology- The future is now
Inventions You have Got T0 Have (Includes the ladies urinal, toilet forehead support system and much more.)
The Nose Pouch
How Much Would it Cost To Build The Death Star

Filed Under: Exercise, Health, Money, Useful Information

Inappropriate 911 Calls

April 8, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I don’t want to call these people stupid and selfish because that is insulting to stupid and selfish.

Burger King

More Shrimp

The Burger King bit is a retread from here.

Filed Under: Useful Information

Fashion Gone Mad

March 19, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I don’t know about you but the idea of wearing a blow up doll on my body is repulsive, moronic and ridiculous. Look at this comment from the designer:

“I customize existing tracksuit tops with parts of the blow-up dolls – the head, the breasts, the vagina, the anus. These dolls are so ugly and vulgar that turning them into something beautiful has become a challenge for me. The doll is a means to convey something else.”

Is it wrong for me to say I want to punch him in the mouth. I don’t have a good reason other than his comment is so ugly and vulgar I want to try and turn it into something beautiful.

Filed Under: People, Useful Information

Life At Sea

March 10, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I love the ocean and there have been many moments in which I considered trying to find a life at sea that would work for me. But this is a bit different from what I had been thinking of.

It is kind of an interesting idea, sort a wild west feel at sea. Not so sure that I’d be the one to want to do it. Could be a lot of fun or a lot like Lord of The Flies.

“(CNN) — A floating city off the coast of San Francisco may sound like science fiction, but it could be reality in the not-too-distant future.

The Seasteading Institute already has drawn up plans for the construction of a homestead on the Pacific Ocean.

One project engineer described the prototype as similar to a cruise ship, but from a distance the cities might look like oil-drilling platforms.

According to the plans, the floating cities would not only look different from their land-based counterparts, but they might operate differently, too.

Patri Friedman, a former Google engineer who now works for the Seasteading Institute, said floating cities are the perfect places to experiment with new forms of government.

Some of the new political ideas the group is tossing around include legalizing marijuana and making intellectual property communal — so that everyone would take ownership in art produced on the city at sea.

“The idea isn’t just about getting away from rules or getting rid of rules. It’s about a system that encourages experimentation with different political systems,” he said.”

Filed Under: Useful Information

How Pickpockets Steal Your Wallet

February 21, 2009 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Useful Information, Videos

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