How To Deal With Mean Girls & Mean Moms
The mean girls are back again and so are their mothers. We have a history, the mean girls, their mothers and I. They don’t like me and I don’t like them. If I had my druthers we wouldn’t have to interact at all and things would go more smoothly but that isn’t the case.
The fly in the ointment lies in their involvement at my children’s school and my refusal to let them run the show. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the situation let me provide some background
The PTA at my childrens’ school is fantastic. The parents are very involved and that is important to me because I believe that a good school requires parental support. You need more than the teachers to push the children. It really does take a village to raise/educate our kids and we are lucky to have found a good one.
However we have a collection of stay-at-home mothers who have their own beliefs on how things should operate and who should be running them. Most of the moms are great and I really appreciate their time because the work they do helps my children as well as their own.
Unfortunately this includes a group of women who think that being called a bitch is a compliment and that is how they operate. If you are not part of their inner circle they have no problem treating you like their servant.
Well dear reader, your friendly, neighborhood curmudgeon Jack doesn’t cotton to that kind of approach or treatment. I don’t play their reindeer games and we have banged heads on multiple occasions. That is because I have been lucky enough to have had employment that allows me to show up at school during the day and have been privileged to be a chaperone on field trips.
They don’t like it. They don’t like it because when they send out emails assigning tasks to people I click on reply all and suggest that sometimes we should do things differently. They don’t like it because I’ll write back and say it is ridiculous to spend a ton of cash on a parent social and remind them that we need to be more inclusive.
I am not bothered by saying that some things are too much money. I don’t have the same bank account as some of them and I don’t care. I have enough command of the language to play their game of “let’s make people wonder if they have just been insulted” but I rarely do that with them because it is more fun to be direct.
My daughter and her friends tell me that the daughters of these mothers are nasty. To quote the dark haired beauty, “they make alliances against people.” On a side note, I am impressed that she knew how to use the word properly.
Don’t Waste Your Time
One of the fathers told me that it is a waste of time to get involved here and I understand what he is saying but I disagree. I am tired of listening to the scuttlebutt about these women and tired of the complaints. It is just another form of bullying.
If they were men I could invite them to come play basketball with us and then just throw a lot of elbows but that is frowned upon. I was also told that I am not supposed to suggest that the mean moms have husbands who have been emasculated and that is not good form to suggest that they earn their keep at home based upon the amount of time they spend on their backs.
But to me a bully is a bully is a bully and the way to stop a bully is to hit them back. For the sake of my trolls let me clarify that I am not suggesting that these women be hit by me or any man. If a woman wanted to hit them I would ask that they let me know in advance so that I might sell tickets. 😉
Ultimately I see this as a teaching moment for my children. I want them to understand that sometimes we take a stand for things we believe in. I want them to recognize that when people don’t take a stand bad things can happen. I want them to understand that it is not a badge of honor to call yourself an ‘asshole’ or a ‘bitch.’
Life’s too short.