The Kind Of Friend You Want To Be


Sometimes I am guilty of trying to write the kind of post that makes you cry, but not always. There are other moments that I try to write something inspirational and or humorous.

Those are moments that I try to avoid because they usually don’t produce the results I want. It is like trying to force a feeling. I can’t make you love me and even if I could that is not how I want to be.

My best moments in writing come when I just let myself be and I write about whatever it is I am writing about.

It reminds me of friendship. It reminds me of remembering not to try too hard because the people that like us will do so because of who we are and not because of what we have.

Dad’s Words of Wisdom

It is a discussion I have had more than once with the children. We talk about what is going on in school and sometimes I hear stories about mean girls and boys who aren’t nice.

I tell the children to try to be the kind of friend you want to be. These aren’t just words to me or something you say out of obligation. I mean them.

In part it is because I have been very fortunate to have some of the best friends a person can have. I have blogged about them before, some recent and some less so. One day my children will read this blog and posts like What Kind of Friend Are You? will help reinforce what I am talking about, but that is years down the road.

These discussions have to happen now. I can’t shield them from everything and life forces you to confront the end of their innocence at a pace that isn’t always in sync with when you would choose to make the change.

I suppose it is part of why I write letters to my children.

Be Your Own Advocate

When I talk with the kids and friends about the rules of the game I often mention the need for us to serve as our own advocates. If we don’t do it then who will.

But the question is how to do it in a fashion that isn’t obnoxious but is still effective. I don’t know that I have an answer for that. It is a subjective question. It is something we all have to figure out how to do.

It is part of why I blog. It is part of how I figure out what is important and necessary. It is part of how I determine what direction I wish to take and what pace I wish to walk or work at.

My Friends Read My Blog

Very few of my real life friends read this blog. In part that is because I have kept it away from most of them, but that is not what this is about.

This is about the lesson I have learned about being the kind of friend I want to be online as well as offline. This is about acknowledging that I have made many friends online and although we don’t hang out in person we meet here with more regularity than I get to see those real life friends.

That doesn’t take anything away from them. It is part of the nature of this online world we walk around in. It is easy to meet here. It is like being back in school. It is a central gathering place that we can hit.

So when I say my friends read my blog I can do so with complete honesty. I can say I am trying to be a good friend online and offline. I am trying to be the kind of friend I want for me and for my children.

When I opened my eyes possibilities turned into opportunities and I am glad to share it with you.

This post is part of Yeah Write #66 one of my favorite writing communities.

photo by: TMAB2003

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