Something I ate hates me and I have spent the morning battling this bug. It has been a bare knuckles brawl in which I have emerged battered, bloodied and bruised, but I am still standing and the bug is becoming a memory.
This bug has bad timing. I had planned on accomplishing far more than I have and now it is clear that I am going to have to adjust my schedule. But if you believe that life is filled with signs and messages that don’t necessarily originate from people or electronic devices you might say someone or something has been trying to get my attention.
So, consider it gotten, my attention that is and now that you have it what are you going to do with it.
“There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all”
In My Life- The Beatles
It is around noon on Friday afternoon now and I am listening to Johnny Cash perform a cover of In My Life and gathering my thoughts. I feel torn up right now and the last thing I want to do is work but there are moments in time where we suck it up and do what we have to do.
This post is my warm up for the writing that I have to do. This is where I stretch and loosen up so that I can put together the words that pay the bills because these aren’t them. Someone has been reading a post called The Most Valuable Possession and it makes me smile.
It has been a little more than a year since my last living grandparent died. He was my maternal grandfather and I miss him as I miss all of my grandparents.
Silence Isn’t Always Awkward
I was lucky to be very close with both of my grandfathers. They were very different men and yet quite similar in many ways.
Twenty years ago the three of us might have sat outside together and enjoyed the 100 degree weather. They would have told me about how Chicago was never like this in September and debated where the best place to get a hot dog was in the Chicago of their youth.
In between the commentary we would have shared a comfortable silence and one of them would have asked me to tell them about my life and what I wanted to do with it. They would have listened and asked more questions and peppered the conversation with stories and advice.
They may not be here but I feel their presence and I would like nothing more to update them on my life and to tell them about their great grandchildren. I wonder what they would think about these signs but I think I know.
Sometimes what I miss most is watching their faces while they watched my children. There must be something amazing to see your grandchildren grow up to become parents. But I am also sorry they aren’t here to see what is happening in my life because we are standing on the precipice of something big.
Risk Versus Reward
It would be cool to talk to them about how I figured a few things out and how some of the risks I have taken have slapped me silly but that some have paid off. It has been hard to do some of these things and I have paid for it.
I took the beating because I thought it was the right thing to do. I took the beating and kept standing because I had them in my corner and I knew it even when they weren’t around.
So I am sorry they aren’t around to see some of this. They would have taken such pleasure and it would have been so good to not just share these things but to thank them.
I kid around about being crazy and I have my moments, but my head is screwed on tight in large part because of them. My parents deserve much credit too.
The Wrong Question
When I ask what is the best way to get attention it is not really the right question to ask. The right question is once I have gotten it what should I do with it. That is something I think about frequently but I am not sure how well it translates in these blog posts some of you read.
And now friends, the floor is open. What will you share in the comments?