Misanthropy Is An Under Appreciated Art

Wisdom 051-2
The Dale Carnegie Institute would probably recommend against using a headline like Misanthropy Is An Under Appreciated Art because it doesn’t sound like a useful way to win friends and influence people.

They might be surprised to learn just how many people are interested in a career based upon misanthropy or maybe not. I haven’t asked them so I can’t say for certain.

I wonder what they would say if I told them that age doesn’t bring wisdom and that you can increase it with the roll of a 20 sided die.

Maybe they would ask me to explain How To Make Time For Blogging and I could respond by telling them about The Excuses We Make.

Time Is Short

Things are changing now and I am still in this period of extended transition. I have been trying to use the blog to get a sense of how long I have been saying this and to figure out if I have made progress.

I keep coming across stuff like this:

There are other days. There will be other days. There have always been other days and there always will be until there aren’t.

It is a lesson that I have learned the hard way. I have stood graveside and buried friends and relatives. I have said goodbye to relationships and jobs that I thought would always be there and then they weren’t.

These words sting a bit because they make me sound foolish and naive, but I can’t hide from them. We only have so much control about the people, places and things in our lives.

It is bittersweet to read those words because in some ways I have made so much progress and moved so far away from where I was at but it doesn’t prevent me from feeling like it is not enough.

I made a decision a while back not to be stuck in the same place I was when I wrote this:

Ok universe, you all powerful, mystical and mighty something or other– stop saying ‘so what.’ Stop rolling your eyes and asking me to climb mountains so that some scraggly bearded yogi can give me some sort of wise sounding answer to the mysteries of the cosmos.

I asked you before and I am asking you again to give me a straight answer as to what you expect/want me to do. Yeah I know I don’t listen to anyone and that I march to the beat of a drummer who has no rhythm but trust me when I say it will be better for both of us.

That is because I have decided the best thing I can do is surrender to the current and to use its energy to move me instead of fighting it. I may be better than most at swimming upstream but that has’t proven to be as profitable way to make things happen.

Dad Is a Role Model

What I want is for my children to see how it benefits them to not rely upon one approach to solving problems. It is something we have discussed many times but action is almost always more important and effective than words.

Sometimes they hear the snarky comments about bad customer service, “THE STUPID, IT BURNS” but I don’t know if they always see the other side.

The side where I smile and thank people for their help because experience has proven that is usually much more effective than making a scene.

You can blame attribute that to my response to people who have tried to create a scene to force me to do things. And that response has been to find a quiet way to become less responsive and more difficult. Treat me like dirt and you’ll wear mud but if it goes as I wish you won’t be able to hang the blame on me.

Perhaps it is juvenile but I kind of like working things that way. While you are screaming and I am nodding my head and smiling at you what I am really doing is finding a way to express my true appreciation for you.

I do try to avoid those situations but lately I have found myself reliving my own Groundhog Day. Almost everything has felt like an unnecessary struggle and I have wondered if I am just lucky.

This past May I signed my kids up to play soccer again. We’re at about 11 years or so of playing at the same park so I am very familiar with how the system works.

The league runs almost exclusively on volunteers so every year I try to make a point to do something. I have been a coach many times but didn’t want to do it this year because I am not sure if my schedule will allow me to keep that commitment and I am loathe to break that sort of promise.

We received an email this weekend in which we were told that the coach for my daughter’s team had pulled out and that if no one signed up the girls on her team wouldn’t get to play.

Long story longer I was forced to sign up to coach. It is not the first time it has happened but I am unwilling to be so selfish with my time that the kids can’t play.

It annoys me to no end to hear/read people tell me about how busy they are as if no one in the world could possibly be so busy.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day and it just irks me to listen to people suggest they are special at the expense of others.

We Do What is Required

When the proverbial push comes to shove I want my children to understand if we want to live our dreams and not dream our lives we have to do what is required.

So I guess I’ll be a coach again as best I can and we’ll just swim with the current and see where it takes us.

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2 Comments

  1. TheJackB August 20, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Faryna Thanks. It is all part of the job. 😉

  2. Faryna August 19, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    I love it when you teach.

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