You Shouldn’t Blog About Your Time In a Mexican Prison

Not so long ago the female star of Dads and Daughters asked me to explain why boys are so damn dumb.

I looked at her and asked her what her real question was and she gave me a 15 minute explanation about what led to the question that included numerous examples of things she thought were ridiculous, some of which might have even referenced me.

The rules of blog dictate that had it been asked by one of the other women in my life I would have laughed and said something about crazy people not being allowed to dictate what is stupid and what isn’t.

That might have led us to recount some ridiculous post like The Underwear Chronicles Of The Blogosphere and then I would have been forced to say look, “there is something bright and shiny” which we all know is especially effective when dealing with people who Suffer From Cluttered Mind Syndrome.

Except it is not really something that is limited to one gender so I concede if I pointed in the direction of bright and shiny I might have tried very hard to actually find something that met that description.

You Shouldn’t Blog About Your Time In a Mexican Prison

Almost four hours ago I stood outside under a starlit night and tried to explain what a blog is and why I do it to people who had never one.

They listened intently and I related some stories related to How Do You Catch A Dragon and How Do You Recognize Windows of Opportunity?

One of the guys asked me if there are boundaries in blogging and I talked about how the boundaries have evolved for me and why they are so subjective.

Somewhere in the blog you can find a post that talks about how a bear interrupted my girlfriend and I, some goofy tales about things that happened in college and a bunch of parenting tales.

Sift through the pages and you’ll see me talk about some very personal moments when I feared my father might die, heartbreak and hope and all sorts of other stuff.

But you don’t see as much about the kids as you used to because they are old enough for me to recognize that I don’t have the same ownership of those stories as I used to.

Old enough to Google themselves and be Googled so I try not to post stuff that might embarrass them.

So you might ask yourself how does Mr. Jack Steiner come up with a headline about time in a Mexican prison?

The answer is I didn’t spend time in a Mexican prison but I came damn close to getting arrested in Tijuana.

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It was 1988 and my fraternity went to San Diego for a mini-convention that included a 16 hour stop in TJ.

Several hundred of us crossed the border, headed for Revolution for drinks, women and glory. In other words we, the young, dumb and stupid men who were fueled with booze and the conviction that we were invincible went out looking for trouble.

We might not have recognized that trouble was what we were searching for but trouble knew full well and it made a point to meet us as soon as possible.

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There are many stories associated with that night and I might have shared a few of them with the people who wanted to learn more about blogs and blogging, primarily because one of my cohorts from those days was with me tonight.

It was he who suggested that it might not be smart to write about being incarcerated in a Mexican prison.

We had a good laugh telling the tale and I assured everyone that I was not arrested because I was not and I might have shared a piece of the altercation that led to my having to hide from the police in a club.

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If my daughter knew that story she would have said it was proof I was a stupid boy too and I might have had to agree with her.

But she doesn’t know that story and if you tell her you will regret it because I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.

My children don’t need to know everything about me. They don’t need to know about all of my adventures and not because some of those tales will portray me in a less than positive light either.

They already know that dear old dad is just a man and that sometimes he has made mistakes or done stupid things.

What I worry about is that they will look at the dumb luck that enabled me to get through some of these moments and think they have access to it too.

Better not to test certain limits. Better not to push some things that don’t need to be pushed because the boulder that rests on top of the hill can roll backward just as easily as it sits still.

• Saved: Children