Sometimes you come back from your vacation feeling more tired than when you left.
If you are like me you find that aggravating because a vacation is supposed to be a time for recharging your batteries and renewing your energy so that you can live and not just pass through life.
This last vacation wasn’t of the sort I prefer and though it was fun, it left me feeling a bit drained and I have spent this past week feeling like I am dragging.
It is part of why I haven’t written as much as I wanted to but it is not the only reason.
Some of it is because I am still in that funny place where I want to be part of the parent and dad blogging communities and yet find some of it exhausting.
It is not because I have shared every thought or told every story, even after 13 years in the blogging game there is plenty to say and share.
But some of the passion for participating isn’t what it used to be and I can’t decide if it is because so many of the bloggers I used to run with have decided to hang up their keyboards or if it is just a moment in time.
What I am certain of is that my place has changed and that I have little interest in the stories about infants, toddlers, breast feeding and all the other young kid stuff.
That is not to demean or diminish any of it because it is of tremendous importance, but I have been there and done that.
My focus is on the middle and high school years because that is where my kids are at and that transition changed everything.
It Is Harder
Those of you with little kids might not like hearing this, but the little kid stuff is generally easier than the bigger.
That is provided we are talking about children who don’t have special needs or major health issues.
It is different when your kids are older and you have to deal with the drama that comes raging hormones, teen drivers, dating and middle school madness.
When your kids and friends are on social media and think it is funny to post videos of themselves doing stupid crap but never think of potential consequences you find yourself in a different position than being sleep deprived.
You might not like the four year-old who doesn’t share but you really aren’t going to like the boyfriend/girlfriend who rips your child’s heart out and there is not a lot you can do about it.
The days of putting them in the crib/play pen/room whatever are gone.
And if we circle back to social media for a moment let’s not forget the kids and their friends sometimes Google themselves and find posts you have written about them.
This hasn’t happened to me because I never used names but I know people who had trouble because the cute story they wrote about a two-year-old was used by other students at school to endlessly tease them.
Outraged By Outrage
I tell people all the time they can’t tell me what to be upset or not be upset about. My feelings are my feelings and I am not a robot.
But there are many moments when I am outraged by the general outrage. In our effort to create more tolerance we create so many moments of intolerance.
I can’t keep hearing about privilege as if it is the only reason good or bad things happen to people.
Sometimes you are a good person or an asshole and it has nothing to do with age/gender or skin color.
It is just who you are.
Live More, Write Less
It is my unofficial motto for 2017.
I am a writer by birth and by need. I can’t stop writing any more than I can stop breathing.
But I can pull myself away from the computer and the phone to focus on living in the moment and experiencing things live.
It is something I have been doing and talking about for a while now.
Sometimes it is hard to put the phone down and not take pictures because I wonder if I’ll regret not having a recorded history of that special moment.
But there is magic that you miss when you spend your life looking through a lens.
Same goes for putting everything down on paper as it happens.
This is a year for reminding myself to live and love hard, but first I need to take a nap or drink some coffee, I am freaking tired.
I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. 🙂
One last note/thought to share.