The Simple & Hard Truths Of 2017 isn’t supposed to be deflating or demoralizing nor is it supposed to be inspirational.
It is a starting point I am going to use to measure/look at the year that follows or so goes the theory and we all know that theories are a work in progress.
- Teenagers know how to press every button you know about and some you don’t.
- My closer to 50 than 20-year-old body doesn’t care if age is a state of mind, some things don’t work or respond as they used to.
- I am mentally tougher than I have ever been and it has everything to do with life experience.
- Being tough doesn’t mean you don’t get tired, frustrated or feel like you have enough support.
- I don’t know how to just give up and quit but I have learned how to pivot and adjust.
- I am a couple of small victories short of feeling pretty cocky about a lot of things.
- I have the tools and ability to make it all happen, whatever all means.
Tools & A Musical Intermission
I was going to write about picking the right tool for the job, but instead here is a small sample of what is flowing through my ears while I write, work and exercise.
- 6th Avenue Heartache- The Wallflowers
- Adam Raised A Cain- Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
- 99 Problems- Jay-z
- An Affair To Remember- Harry Warren
- After Midnight- Eric Clapton
- Against The Wind- Bob Seger
- Ain’t Got You- Bruce Springsteen
- Back In Black- AC/DC
- Back In The Highlife- Steve Winwood
- Superstition- Stevie Wonder
Teenage Blues
There is a teenage boy that is making me crazy now because in some ways he is far too much like his father and that hard head of his is leading down the wrong path.
Some people have been riding me about trying to figure out how we got to this place but I refuse to acknowledge their concerns because the timing is wrong.
When you see the car heading for a cliff or a wall you don’t stop to figure out when you made a wrong turn you focus on stopping the damn car first.
Understanding what and how led to that place only comes after you know your driver and passengers are safe.
What is killing me is the feeling this teenager is going to insist on standing in the middle of the fire to prove he can and that he’ll exacerbate things by pouring gas over his head.
It is frustrating because I can’t seem to reach him and in the past I always have.
I hope he hears what I am saying and is being hard headed for whatever dumb reasons adolescents do what they do.
That is spoken by a man who remembers being young and dumb and had hoped to use his experience to properly parent around this moment.
Doesn’t look like that is going to happen and it makes me feel sad and angry, but I am ever the optimist so maybe I’ll be proven wrong.
I sure hope so.
Back In The Saddle Again
Went away for a very short vacation which was a a lot of fun but not nearly as relaxing as I really needed it to be.
I didn’t get as much mental downtime as I needed so I am not entirely ready to be back in the saddle again.
That is the unfortunate truth but as stated in the bullet points above, I am a couple of small victories away from adding some swagger to my walk.
Just need to push a little bit longer and a little bit harder and instead of walking I can strut or sashay around town.
Probably won’t because I’ll feel self conscious and goofy, but it would be nice to feel like I have earned it.
‘Final’ Thoughts
I am going to do my best to remind myself I can only control myself and that I can’t make others do things just because I want them to, no matter who they are.
Hopefully my control will include healthier eating combined with a new exercise regimen.
Don’t mistake that to mean I haven’t been exercising because I have, but I need to adjust it based upon the person I am now and not who I once was.
That is not an easy adjustment but it is doable and once I get things going there I expect good things to come from it.
Happy New Year.
Kristen Hewitt says
I have one of those too – a mirror. Just like me. It’s hard to lead with love but so necessary. Good luck in 2017~
Jack Steiner says
Parenting is not for the weak of heart, but it is so worth it. Here is to a great 2017 for all of us.
Larry says
It seems like your frustration w/your son grows w/each post.
I like that initial list.
Never cared for Adam Raised a Cain and I’m a mega Springsteen fan.
Jack Steiner says
I am not sure if that is true or not. Really have to think about it.
Adam Raised A Cain is just one of those songs that catches me from time to time. Not sure why, just some sort of hook I guess.
Damien says
Nice one JackB. I have an 18 year old and boy do I get it. I think the most important times to be a dad are the times he needs me, although I’m tempted to give lectures then.
Jack Steiner says
Hi Damien,
I cringe sometimes when I think about how impossible I was at 18. Nothing better than being a father, but it is not easy. I hear you on the lectures.