Today we went to the Van Nuys Air Show and the Israeli Festival at Woodley Park. I was the guy wearing shorts, a blue shirt and a beard, would it have hurt you to say hello.
The events made me think of a few things, which is no mean feat because I don’t like to think. You know that you are growing older when the movies they make for high school kids are just irritating to you. It is just one of those things that you realize as you are watching some silly show because you are too lazy to grab the remote and change it or are from cleveland and not familiar with technology.
That really doesn’t pertain to today, what does is this. I understand that it is considered fashionable to show a little skin but it is not considered cool to have ripples of fat rolling from beneath your tube top and over your waist.
It is not considered sexy to have your breasts pushed up so high you cannot see, especially when you are wearing spiked heels on grass. And when you fall because you are a klutz and you call the man you tripped over a hamor you shouldn’t be surprised when he answers you in English and Hebrew. You are at the Israel festival.
If you are misguided, confused, stupid and interested in missionary work you might want to consider avoiding the poor saps who claim to be members of J for J. Or at least the schmucks I saw today who were amazed that the people at the aforementioned festival were not discussing weed when they offered to stone them. And if I was dumb enough to consider joining them I would be really upset to see that they are using the same pathetic pamphlet they used to pass out in the ’70s.
Many parents use a bath to help quiet and calm their children down. It has the reverse affect upon my son. In effect it energizes him. Stick a quiet, almost sleepy boy in there and a short time later he will be running around house naked as a jaybird. Ah the joy of being 4.5.
Take the same 4.5 year-old and stick him in a public bathroom and watch the fun. Today’s top three moments. “My daddy’s penis is bigger than you,” “You farted” and “that man has toilet paper stuck to his tushie.”
Comment number one was made to the stranger at the urinal next to him. Comment number two was the guy on the other side and comment number three was to me about some guy but I am not sure who and am afraid to find out how he knows this. For inquiring minds you can rest assured that he spent the entire time next to me, so I am really not sure if this is truthful or made up.
And the last comment before I watch the finale of Survivor. “Daddy, I can’t go to sleep because I told the ghost in my room that you would kill him and he is very angry with you now.”