It is Better Than Toilet Paper

On the right I present to you the fabulous NEOREST Integrated Toilet.

“Operated by wireless remote, NEOREST seat’s multi-Task functions provide gentle front-and back-aerated warm water spray, which can be regulated for preferred water pressure and temperature. Other features include oscillating spray massage, heated seat, automatic catalytic air deodorizer, and warm air dryer — all of which are governed by its “Fuzzy Logic” energy-saving mode. Upon installation, NEOREST records usage frequency, then re-educates itself weekly.”

I already hear the oohs and ahs. Some of you are thinking about this wonder of modern science and asking for more information. Imagine, a toilet that operates by remote control. But wait, there is more! This toilet is constructed so that with the push of a button a stream of water will shoot out and clean your derriere. It is better than toilet paper!

The top row offers five buttons. Reading from right to left you have the dryer, front cleaning, rear cleaning, power rear cleaning for those larger episodes and the stop button.

In addition there are buttons that adjust the rinse cycle, oscillation and pulsation. Forgive me for being crude, but this makes me wonder if they haven’t created the first toilet that is designed to create the perfect orgasm and or clean the stain out of your darks.

Just think, you get all this and more for the less than US$5,000.00 net. That is one hell of a deal.

And you thought that Treppenwitz was the only blog in which you could get a review of the finer products in waste management.

Pshaw to that. If you are looking for bathroom tales we have plenty of those.

1. Excuse me, There is Toilet Paper Stuck To Your Tuchus
2. The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure
3. Jack’s Experience In the Ladies Room
4. The GermoPhobe
5. Bathroom Etiquette

On the other hand I have to remember that it is never smart to piss off the gun slinging chef, even if he is a Red Sox fan. The last thing I want to do is be fed to a krokodil. Ok, I am off in search of the next pot(ty) of blogging gold.