"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx
I just learned that NBC has placed many of its SNL videos online. You can find them here. It appears that they cover multiple seasons. I just watched the Buckwheat Has Been Shot news reports for the first time in years, as well as some other good bits.
“Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger.”
On a sad side note, how many of these guys are gone now. Belushi, Radner, Hartman and Farley.
I used to be a fan of The Apprentice but now I am not so sure. They have made some foolish changes.
If you never watched the show the premise was very simple. Contestants engaged in various tasks hoping to win a position as an employee of one of Donald Trump’s companies. Typically the contestants were presented with various business challenges and given limited time and money to try and develop the best possible solution.
It was enjoyable to watch them compete and every now and then you might pick up an idea that you could incorporate into your own business.
The first five seasons were all held in Manhattan. Being a big fan of LA I was excited to see that season six is going to be held in my hometown. And then I read about some of the changes.
In a compelling social experiment of haves and have nots, contestants this season will have to earn the right to live like Trump. Each week, the contestants on the winning team will get to live in a luxurious mansion. But contestants on the losing team will have to sleep outside in tents in the back yard of the mansion with outdoor showers and port-a-potties, giving contestants more incentive than ever to win their tasks each week.
Talk about marketing BS. A compelling social experiment? My ass. Leave the Survivor elements where they belong, in Survivor. I see this as detracting from the show. Just my two cents.
In the aftermath of the holidays I think that I can speak for both Jewish and Christian parents when I say that I view gifts that have the words Some Assembly Required on the box in the same way that I view a colonoscopy.
If you are familiar with the preparation for a colonoscopy you can probably appreciate just how exciting I find this to be:
Thorough cleansing of the bowel is necessary before a colonoscopy. You will likely be asked to take a laxative the night before the procedure. In some cases you may be asked to give yourself an enema. An enema is performed by inserting a bottle with water and sometimes a mild soap in your anus to clean out the bowels.
Any time you are required to shove something up an into a place that’s primary use is an exit for waste you can be certain that the experience is going to be something that is less than pleasurable.
If you are the nervous type you might find that your doctor/friends try and gloss over the discomfort by saying that one day this is going to make a great story. That is code for saying that you are about to get fucked. Now I don’t know about you, but I liked to be kissed before I am fucked.
Call me a sentimental old fool, or just naive but I am funny that way. Back to the topic at hand.
My children were the beneficiaries of a number of gifts that included the curse words I mentioned above, mind you in very small print. Said small print was placed right next to the gigantic photo of kids using said toy.
Of course my kids never notice the fine print. All they see is the picture of other children having more fun than they can imagine leading them to shriek with joy at the thought of being able to use the same toy.
It doesn’t take much imagination to see how this goes. Good old dad pulls the gift out of the box and with great gusto attempts to understand the schematic that serves as instructions for assembly. Said schematic usually is written in four languages, none of which are English and none of which I speak.
Fortunately I am relatively handy. It may take a little while, but I manage to assemble the toy in question. What I want to know is why do I always find myself holding three extra parts.
It makes me wonder if the engineer that designed these things might be related to me because I am diabolical enough to intentionally include a couple useless extra parts for the sole purpose of causing parents to curse.
Hmmm…I wonder if karma is kicking me in the ass.
The next person who sends me a chain email letter in which they threaten me with bad luck for not passing along their stupid fucking message is going to get blasted by me.
Blame my bad humor on the time of year, time of month or whatever makes sense to you. I don’t care. What I do know is that I despise these simplistic and moronic notes that promise me three wishes, true love and world peace, but only if I send the note along to the next 30 people in my address book.
If you are sending these notes out then you are a spammer and not even a honest spammer. Hell, a real spammer just goes out and sends off these missives promising pills that will give me an eternal erection, stock tips, lotto winner and the 1,002,876 requests from kind hearted souls who need my help in securing money by helping to perpetuate fraud.
At least those jackasses send these things out knowing that it is a flat out lie.
You others just fill my inbox with stupid crap and think that if we only held hands and sang Kumbaya war would immediately cease. Let’s get a few things straight.
I am too hungry to try and come up with anything else for this list. The well has gone dry. Must get some meat for my belly. More blogging later.
I set up Things I Want To Remember as a storehouse for blog posts and thoughts. The thought was that it would be an easier way for me to be organized, at least as far as blogging is concerned.
However for a variety of reasons I haven’t been able to keep it going. So now I find myself at the tail end of the year wondering if I should delete the whole freaking thing.
On the other hand I just might try to use it to produce another recap of the past year in blogging.
I am still debating as to what to do about Fragments of Fiction. Do I really need both blogs to make this thing happen. The answer is no. I have been holding off nuking one or the other for sentimental reasons.
RANCHO MIRAGE, California (CNN) — Former President Gerald Ford, who became president in 1974 after the resignation of Richard Nixon, died Tuesday at age 93.
Ford, the oldest surviving former U.S. president, died peacefully at 6:45 p.m. PT (9:45 p.m. ET) Tuesday at his home in Rancho Mirage, California, according to a statement from his office. The cause of death was not given.
Thank you for your service.