Ok, time for another light post. What are your top ten songs?
Archives for March 2007
And Trep Thought Hooters Was Bad
Treppenwitz bemoans the death of Israeli culture here. Just wait until toys like these show up in Israel. Oy.
This Disgusts Me
Animals behave like this, people do not.
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) — Iraqi insurgents used two children as cover to get through a checkpoint in Baghdad and then blew up the car while the kids were still inside, a U.S. general said Tuesday.
The car went through a checkpoint Sunday and parked by a market across the street from a school, said Maj. Gen. Michael Barbero, deputy director for regional operations in the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Two adults jumped from the car, leaving the children in the back. Moments later, the car exploded, witnesses said.
Whose Reality Is it Anyway
An acquaintance and I had a discussion about our personal philosophies. We have a difference of opinion about how to go through life. This person offers a view that goes something like this:
“I expect the worst from people and when they do better I am pleasantly surprised.”
My view is a little bit more optimistic. I don’t spend much time considering what people are going to do because I am working on my own plan. My life works because I make it work, not because I am surprised or disappointed by others. Pleasant and unpleasant surprises are just part of life. It really depends on your response.
That leads to the next disagreement. I said that I don’t want negative energy around me. I don’t need it. This other person says that they don’t believe in any of that and accuses me of wanting to live in my own reality.
Well isn’t that what people do. Don’t we all live in our own reality. Don’t we all have our views on life and how the world operates. Don’t tell me that I live in my own reality as if I am out of touch when you are doing the same thing.
As I explained to them, if someone starts a conversation by expressing their concerns about various issues there are multiple ways to respond. If you choose to respond in a fashion that you know irritates them you are spreading negative energy. It is not helpful. It doesn’t help them to change the situation. All it does is irritate them. There is enough nonsense in the world without adding to it.
My philosophy works for me. If a negative approach to the world works for others I haven’t any problem with it as long as they don’t try to drag me down with them.
Jack’s Experience In the Ladies Room
Originally posted here. Sorry for the lack of new stuff, been kind of busy.
I have a dysfunctional digestive system. I write about it frequently as I have done here, and here. That probably gives you more information than you wanted, but I am going to continue on and regal you with one of my many tales of the loo.
For those who are interested in my motivation in writing about such things part of this stems from my embarrassment/anger/frustration regarding this little problem. I like to make fun of it because I feel better, and yes Shmata Queen I know that one day I should get a colonoscopy. Frankly I have the exit system down so making it an entrance bothers me greatly.
This particular incident took place a number of years ago. I had been going through a spell in which my stomach had been doing quite well and had been more relaxed and adventurous in what I was willing to eat. On that fateful day I had taken on a chilidog and some coffee. Under the best circumstances it was not a great combination but for me it was even more dire.
Initially I didn’t notice anything. I had eaten the food and enjoyed my meal immensely. It was a gastronomic feast that was soon to turn into a gastrointestinal nightmare. {cue horror music now.}
I was minding my own business tooling along the 405 when the attack hit. There was a tickle followed by a gurgle and a rumble. Another gurgle gave proof to the night that soon there would be a mad rush for an exit. I knew that it was going to be similar to the rush for a free sample at Costco.
I was in an unfamiliar part of town but nature smiled upon me and I exited the freeway at breakneck speed and made for the first restaurant I saw. I couldn’t tell you the name, but I can tell you that the nice girl up front understood my garbled and frantic gibberish to mean “show me the bathroom now or no one will want to eat here any longer.”
I followed her outstretched arm and just managed to avoid knocking over a busboy carrying a bucket of dirty dishes and a waiter armed with three plates of hotfood.
Without looking up I straightarmed the bathroom door and jumped into an empty stall. My fingers fumbled and strained to unhook my belt and pants and at last I was able to engage in the task for which I had come.
If you are easily grossed out than you should hang up your spikes now.
Aside from the almost immediate relief one of the first things I noticed was that the air had grown toxic. I was choking on my own fumes, not to mention that there was an endless supply. I was unnerved to realize that I didn’t have any medication on me and had at least 20 miles to go before I would be encased within the refuge of my home.
Lost for a brief moment in thought I hadn’t heard the bathroom door open. Footsteps, light footsteps that sounded like a pair of heels made their way in. I stiffened as I realized that the heels were accompanied by what was clearly a pair of feminine voices. In shock and horror I lifted my size 12 Reeboks off of the floor.
In my haste I had entered the wrong bathroom and now I was frantically trying to figure out how to exit. There were a couple of problems with that. First, the rumble and gurgle were in full effect. They and their crew of noisemakers had. not finished playing with me. There was a marching band with a full horn section. It is hard to leave when the band is still playing When the Saints Go Marching In.
It was made worse by the comments of the ladies in there who had any number of suggestions for how and what I should do, talk about catty.
So I sat there and waited for them to leave. As my legs began to go numb and my feet started to tingle I despaired of ever leaving. More women were coming into the bathroom. It felt like there was a steady stream of visitors. The more polite among them entered without being too obvious about the immediate gag reflex, but there were plenty of who coughed.
The situation was summed up well by a little girl who said “mommy, it stinks in here!”
After untold agony and frustration I made up my mind to make a run for it. So I pulled up my pants and massaged feeling back into my legs. I summoned up a ton of attitude and waltzed out the door of the stall and the bathroom to a number of shouts.
The only thing that I remember hearing was this: You didn’t wash your hands.
TV – B – GONE
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I still want something like this to jam the radios of the jerks who think that they need to play their car stereos at denture rattling volumes.