The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for April 2007

I Can’t Remember Grandpa

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It is close to a year since my grandfather died. I miss him terribly. There have been so many times when I started to call him or wished that I could ask his advice about something. I always knew that the day would come when those things would be impossible, but I never quite believed it would happen.

But it did.

And then today a comment my daughter made really hit me hard. We were over at my parent’s house looking at old family photos when we came across one of my favorite pictures. It features four generations of the men in my family.

It is me, my father, grandfather and great-grandfather. My daughter couldn’t quite grasp that the two year-old boy in the photo was her daddy. She kept pointing to the various people and asking their names, so I kept telling her.

Eventually she looked at me and said “Grandpa died, but I can’t remember grandpa.”

I won’t lie. That one hurt. It is not her fault. She didn’t mean to upset me. I cannot and do not blame her. It is not like he didn’t know her. He did. There are plenty of pictures of the two of them, but that is not the point.

My grandfather and I were very close. It is hard to reconcile that my children won’t have the benefit of learning from him the way that I did. He was a big part of my life and in many ways you could say that his influence upon me will affect them.

But it is not quite the same. I didn’t live his life. I can tell the stories but they’ll lack some of the conviction that he brought to them. I’ll do my best to make sure that he is more than just a name, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is gone.

My daughter doesn’t remember grandpa, but I miss him every day.

The Challenge of Using a GPS

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I recently purchased a portable GPS for my car. It is a purchase that has been a long time coming. I am good with maps and as a native Angeleno I am quite familiar with the city and its surrounding. However I spend so much time outside of my normal haunts I needed to find a way to increase my productivity.

The easiest way to do that was by grabbing the GPS. Now I don’t have to pull over and plot a course. All I do is grab the address, plug it in and Jane tells me how to get there. Good old Jane has become a trusted friend. I listens to all my secrets and sometimes I think that she even laughs at my jokes.

Ok, she doesn’t really laugh at my jokes. But if I fall off the derech she is quick to point it out…aggressively. We have this ongoing fight.

“Recalculating, recalculating… Please head towards the highlighted route.”

“Thanks Jane, I appreciate your confidence, but I am not really lost.”

At any moment I expect to hear her complain about men not asking for directions, or in her case maybe it is not taking direction.

On a more serious note it is nice to have her. There have been a number of occasions where she has made life easier. But I don’t want to become too dependent upon Jane. I can see how it would be easy to ignore my surroundings and just let her guide me.

It is not quite as romantic as following the north star, but then again when is the last time a star spoke to you.

Jewish Mysteries- A Look Back

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I was looking through the Archives and came across this and thought that I’d share it with you all. New stuff to come.

I am an independent in many ways including both politics and religion. Every now and then someone decides to take a swipe at me because they think that I pick and choose.

For example, I don’t keep Kosher, but I would never drink a glass of milk with meat. There are other examples, but I don’t want to make this post about me but about the mysteries of Judaism.

That is the term that I used when speaking with a friend about his kollel and their outreach program to unaffiliated Jews/Jews who are unhappy with their shul. But it really is most applicable to Jews who do not have a real strong Jewish education and their approach to Judaism.

What I mean by this is that Judaism is highly sophisticated and filled with layers and layers of ritual and for a lack of a better term obligations/responsibilities that we usually refer to as the 613 mitzvot.

Add to that the minhagim (customs) that have been acquired over the centuries and many people do not know whether the things that they do are based upon minhag or halacha and even if they do they often do not know why they are being asked to do them.

Consequently there are many mitzvot that are not followed because people do not feel/see the connection and or reason for them to do it. You cannot tell someone who does not know if they believe in G-d that this being/person/creature has commanded them to do anything and expect that they are just going to do it. And you especially cannot expect a thinking adult to engage without provding them with substance and reason for why they should do whatever it is you are asking them to do.

So what you end up with is a group of people who look at the mitzvot/commandments and see them as being optional. Earlier this week Mirty wrote about her feelings when she accidentally ate something that was treif. I thought that it was interesting because my heart tells me that I should be keeping Kosher but my brain says why.

My head wants to know what is the reason. What does it do? I already know that lightning will not come out of the sky and strike me down if I do not. I know that if I drive on Shabbos I am not going to be stoned. I know that if I commit an aveirah I am probably, more than likely going to be ok.

And what this means is that I have to search harder for a reason to stop my behavior and change. I need more than just because. I need something that speaks to me and thus far I haven’t found it and I am someone who searches for answers.

Take me out of the equation and go back to the person who has little to no background. Now stick them in shul and watch how many of them squirm because they do not understand what is going on, why we bow at some times and not at others. They stumble through mechayei meytim without any idea about the hours of thought and discussion that those words created, they do not understand what they do but go because of guilt.

I watch and listen because even though I can say that I received a solid Jewish education it has some holes in it and there are places that are more like gaps. I watch because this time of year is a huge struggle for me. It makes me crazy, I go meshugah because I feel like my heart and head are in two different places. My heart says to just go with the feeling, follow the passion and daven because it will take me to where I need to be and my head scoffs at this.

My head laughs at superstition and takes a simple position of trying to be a good person. Be a good person, teach your children, give back to your community and do what you can to be a mensch and everything will work out.

I’ll go to shul and I’ll wrestle with being there. I’ll think about the streets of Yerushalayim and the hike I took in Yosemite. I’ll go to the bathroom and be distracted by beautiful women, by watching the young children look up in awe at their parents and by the sound of people davening. I’ll sit down and consider the mysteries of Judaism and ask myself how much I really know and realize that my depth of knowledge is good, but never enough. I’ll shake my head and feel like I’ll never be satisfied and then I’ll sigh.

And in between and throughout all of it I’ll come here and write a post that started out with a serious nature and just became a stream of consciousness and wonder if I really said anything or made sense to anyone.

The New Year is coming and I feel unsettled.

Thank You Jackie Robinson

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I have been mulling over how to honor Jackie Robinson because today is the 60 year anniversary of his breaking into the major leagues.

I am not old enough to have seen Jackie play but I wish that I could have. It must have been incredible to see him steal home.

However I am old enough to understand the significance of what he did and to appreciate the tremendous courage and strength he possessed.

Philly.com has a series called Remembering Jackie Robinson that I urge you to read.

Here is another link to a series of information about him.

Thank you Jackie.

Saudi Columnist On Right of Return & Refugees

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Memri has a couple of interesting excerpts from a Saudi columnist. I’ll borrow their introduction:

In two recent articles in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Siyassa, Saudi columnist Yousef Nasser Al-Sweidan argued that the Palestinian refugees’ right of return is an idea that cannot be implemented, and that the only solution is for the refugees to be naturalized in the countries where they currently reside.

Here are a couple of excerpts:

The Right of Return – An Idea that Cannot Be Implemented

In the first article, published March 5, 2007 and titled “On the Impossible [Idea] of the Right of Return,” Al-Sweidan wrote: “…The slogan ‘right of return’… which is brandished by Palestinian organizations, is perceived as one of the greatest difficulties and as the main obstacle to renewing and advancing the peace process between the Israelis and the Palestinians based on the Road Map and a two-state solution.

“It is patently obvious that uprooting the descendents of the refugees from their current homes in Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, and other countries, and returning them to Israel, to the West Bank, and to Gaza is a utopian ideal and [a recipe for] anarchy. More than that – it is an idea that cannot be implemented,

and

The Inevitable Solution is to Naturalize the Refugees in the Host Countries

“As the Middle East peace process gains momentum, and as the regional and international forces remain committed to the need to resolve this [conflict]… there is a growing necessity for a realistic, unavoidable and bold decision that will provide a just solution to the problem of the Palestinian refugees by naturalizing them in the host countries, such as Syria, Lebanon, and other countries.

“Even though this is a humanitarian [project], it requires intensive efforts on the legislative, economic, logistic, and administrative levels, in order to integrate the Palestinians organically into the social, economic and political fabric of the Arab societies…