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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Toilets & Stamps

June 12, 2007 by Jack Steiner 10 Comments

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(Updated below)
Many of you probably don’t associate toilets and stamps but that is because you do not have a small child enjoys interior decorating. Because of this you have never had the pleasure of having said child use ordinary household items to beautify your home.

I would hate for you the reader not to be able to enjoy this so I’ll see if I can help you. I am fan of using of specific examples so here are some things that you can do in your home.

  1. Lipstick on the floor, walls, duvet and face of small child.
  2. Postage stamps on the toilet, walls and various walls.
  3. Magic Marker can be used to decorate ordinary furniture. Give the ordinary an extraordinary sheen.

One of the key ingredients in decorating your home like this is the joy you’ll receive in finding out that your own small child defeats all of the child proofing efforts you have implemented for their own safety.

Some people are outsmarted by a fifth grader. I laugh at them. They must have ordinary fifth graders. Hah! They’re missing out on the nachas generated by an almost 3 year old girl.

Updated with a small picture to protect the almost innocent.

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Filed Under: Children, Random Thoughts

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Comments

  1. Jack's Shack says

    June 14, 2007 at 6:54 am

    Shelli,

    Thanks.

    Chana,

    I think that I do, but I hope that I am wrong.

    Orie,

    Thanks.

    Annie,

    My mother still runs into people who ask how she and my father could have had more kids after me. 38 years later and they still remember.

    Reply
  2. Annie says

    June 13, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    Jack- I was a horror. Fortunately I’m “better” now.

    Reply
  3. orieyenta says

    June 13, 2007 at 5:30 pm

    Oh the upicture makes this post even THAT MUCH BETTER.

    Reply
  4. Chana says

    June 13, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    Oh, the horror! LOL!

    My ILs once gave my daughter (~2 then) new markers. We were eating and talking when we noticed she was just too quiet. She was on the off-white couch, coloring it and her legs blue and red. My ILs felt horrible! (And I secretly enjoyed the guilt trip so much, it was worth the clean up)

    Got pics to top that? 😉

    Reply
  5. Shelli says

    June 13, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    LOVE it!

    Reply
  6. Jack's Shack says

    June 13, 2007 at 2:49 pm

    Orieyenta,

    This is the only picture that I was willing to share. It doesn’t even begin to show what happened.

    Babka,

    Lickem stamps that tasted terrible would go a long way.

    Reply
  7. The Babka Nosher says

    June 13, 2007 at 1:09 am

    LOL! I’m glad to see I’m not the only one! It makes you wish we still had Lick’em to Stick’em stamps!

    Reply
  8. orieyenta says

    June 12, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    Ok – where are the pictures of said decorating?

    Reply
  9. Jack's Shack says

    June 12, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    Annie,

    Sounds like you were quite the kid.

    Reply
  10. Annie says

    June 12, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    The stories my mother could tell you would turn your hair white. Let’s just say I preferred carving to any other form of beautifying.

    Reply

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