I am a bit surprised that I am still awake. I didn’t sleep well. A night of restlessness that was punctuated by brief and unfulfilling bouts of sleep. Bouts being the appropriate term as every dream seemed to be about a fight. Unfortunately these weren’t prizefights, they were something else.
It is no secret that for a while I have been feeling restless and unsettled. There is a lot going on. It is fair to say that I am one of millions of people who are tossing and turning about the challenges we face.
FDR said that the only thing we have to fear it fear itself which obviously proves that he never was forced to live in cleveland and that he was never struck by The Shmata Queen’s very large and heavy black purse. Not to go off on a tangent, but the old queen carries a purse that would make my grandmother jealous. It is enormous and filled with all sorts of random objects.
Ok, I need to recant because something tells me that comparing her to a bag lady is going to place me on the receiving end of a swat. C’mon queenie, give old Jack a break, or maybe a kiss. Wooohoo!
Back to the heart of the matter which is different from matters of the heart. Although I should add that if you need counsel in matters of the heart my door is open. There must be a sign up about that because the boys must have called me a dozen times today.
Anyway, I am doing a good job of avoiding the topic of trying to predict what my life is going to look like in five years. The thing is that when life gets to be a bit rough I like to lose myself in thoughts of the future. Now if you are one of the few people who know me you might be shaking your head and thinking that old Jack is famous for retreating into the past.
There is a certain amount of truth in that, but the thing is that I think about the future far more than you realize. I don’t share much about it. I have my ideas about what things will be life. I can make educated guesses, but the truth is that it is really hard to predict what is going to happen.
Five years from now I could be living in Texas, I could be in Israel, I could be in Arizona or maybe I’ll still be here in my beloved City of Angels. I’ll predict that my financial situation will be far different from today and that my career will have taken some very fortuitous turns. In five years I’ll have successfully navigated some very challenging personal matters and have withstood some serious tests.
Notice that I have a positive spin on it all. I have to. I am not so naive to think that there won’t be moments of pain and frustration. There will be. If past experience is any sort of guide there are going to be times when I want to tear my hair out. My greatest joy is my greatest frustration. But sometimes you roll the dice. Sometimes you take the risk for the great reward.
Yesterday was my grandfather’s birthday. He would have been 94. I spent a chunk of time thinking about him and remembering a man who taught me a great many lessons. It was a rough end to my weekend. So while I was thinking about grandpa I thought for a moment about what he would have said about a number of challenges that lie in front of me.
For a moment I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to and fro. Grandpa answered the call. I can’t say that it was him reaching out from the beyond the pale because I knew him well enough to have a good idea of what he would have advised.
Suffice it to say that when I thought about what he would have advised it made sense to me. One thing that I know for certain is that he would tell me that sometimes all you can do is take it a day at a time. So that is what I am going to do, but I’ll be damned if I don’t wish that I had a crystal ball.
See you all later, I am out of here.