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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Archives for May 2010

Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #10

May 9, 2010 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

“And I said, “Let me tell you a secret about a father’s love,
A secret that my daddy said was just between us.”
I said, “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then.
It’s a love without end, amen, it’s a love without end, amen.”
Love Without End, Amen– George Strait

2010 is the year of the daddy blogger and as such it is time again for the Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience. I suppose that it is only fair to mention that it is courtesy of our own mothers that we became fathers. Or maybe I should say that some of you fathers are mothers….. 😉

Lots of good stuff to share, dig in and enjoy.

Papa Rocks6: Real Authentic Men Profiles – Adam Rogers
Almighty Dad: Home, Where Art Thou?
A Dad’s Heart: The Evolution of Dad
Rebel Dad: My Fourth Annual Open Letter to the Morons at Pampers
DadLabs: Tutoring Tooters to Toot: Dad’s Awesome Homework Help
Jack: The Angry Side
At Home With Dad: 2010 MS 150
The Rebbetzin’s Husband: How to cook corn on the cob
Kosher Beers:Sunday Night Suds – Corona Extra
And Triplets Make Six: Dooce is Mild
Clark Kent’s Lunchbox: One Smart Cookie
Sex and The Single Dad:The Nurse’s family
The Daddy Files: Leave Her Alone on Mom’s Day 
Natural Papa: Couple to Live-Stream their Waterbirth
Dad-O-Matic: Teaching Kids About Business
Dadvocate:  An Interview with Josh Hanagarne Author of The Knot
SAHD in Lansing:Fatherhood Friday: Time to step up
Daddy Geek Boy: Why I’m Worried About Iron Man 2
Juggling Eric: The Big Two-Oh-Oh!
Dad Revolution: Adventurous eating out in Portland
The Dapper Dad: Beauty and The Beast
Beta Dad: More Gay Stuff and Cute Videos
The Lame Sauce: VLOG #7: Don’t leave daddy alone, or magic happens
Cry It Out: If you’re going to San Francisco
Real Men Drive Minivans: Cause I’m just a ray of frikin’ sunshine
Musings From The Big Pink: This week: Mobility and Vomit. Good time
Techy Dad:Aloha Friday: Revealing Your Blog To Family
Diary of a Newborn Dad:Week Eighteen: No, sir, that’s the umbilical cord…
DadWagon: A Week on the Wagon: Playing With Our Balls
The Father’s Persepective: We Need Each Other
…To Be A Dad: Long time, no see
The Hossman Chronicles:The Friday Five
Life of a New Dad: Gary Busey on Moms
Treppenwitz:: These kids with their newfangled expressions…

That’s it for now. This shouldn’t be considered a complete list of the many fine daddy bloggers, but it does provide a small glimpse into our world.

If you like what you see here then please consider becoming a fan of the blog. Have additional questions/comments? Send me an email at talktojacknow-at-gmail-dot-com.

Prior Editions:

Festival Of The Fathers- A Blog Experience
Festival of The Fathers- A Blog Experience Part 2
Festival Of The Fathers- A Blog Experience Part III
Festival Of The Fathers- A Blog Experience Part 4
Festival Of The Fathers- A Blog Experience Part 5
Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #6
Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #7
Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #8
Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #9

Filed Under: Festival of Fathers

The Keywords That Led You Here

May 7, 2010 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Been a while since I last shared some of the keywords/search terms that led you here. So let’s take a look at a partial list

the heart wants what the heart wants
favorite song lyrics
losing touch with friends
letters to my children
sweet child ethel merman
how to write a successive letter in the words happy holidays
Johnny misses his Junebug
living life as a bachelor
I will find you
Give me your hand…please
the sins of the fathers are visited upon the sons
Gila Havana
batman chicken vindaloo
my love is vengeance that’s never free song meaning
If you want to know how this applies to being a good father
photos best shorts for going commando
how do i come up with a good name for my blog
what if a fighter pilot needs to go to the bathroom on a mission
horny chasid
garden gnome origin
i feel like I don’t love my husband anymore
tall sexy women with milk
one kiss changes everything
“if i say no if i resist if i don’t give in to this
how to hard boil eggs
daddy blogger
does true love ever die?
how our thoughts and actions impact our health

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Past Is The Present

May 7, 2010 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Some people never develop any coping skills. The wounds of their past never heal, scabs and scar tissue build up and momentarily halt the bleeding, but it is a temporary fix. And like all such band-aids are prone to being ripped off. Sometimes the exposure to air is good for such hurts and sometimes they remind you that the pain is never far from the surface.

Physical pain can be debilitating, but it never will hold the same sway as mental pain. Mental pain hangs over you, a banshee whose wails of pain and sorrow remind you of past failure, the scream a bitter reminder that there are times when you just didn’t get it done or that sometimes your best just wasn’t good enough.

So the question comes down to how you deal with those moments. Can you accept your shortcomings and move ahead or do you get bogged down in the what-if moments and spend time replaying the moment in your mind searching for a better outcome.

The greatest professional athletes learn how to overcome this. The Michael Jordans of the world don’t remember the shot that they didn’t make or the play that fragmented. They live in a space in which the rarified air they breathe doesn’t allow that. Supreme confidence that they will change the outcome to one that is more favorable allows them to move past the failures and they do fail.

Jordan’s dream of becoming a professional baseball player didn’t quite materialize. Only a few remember Nick Anderson stealing the ball and the eventual loss to the Magic in the playoffs. It was a momentary setback, but one that spurred more work and more effort to reclaim his spot at the top of the pyramid.

But there is a reason why the world is populated with fewer Michael Jordans and more ordinary people. Before Georgie I had been much more like Jordan able to just move on and forget. But that was the past and now I lived in a world that was not so bright, the light was much dimmer and the prospects less interesting.

I live in a place in which I yearn for instant replay, the prayers in which I beg for a referee to come out onto the field and penalize the other guy for an illegal play. A chance to gain yardage that was unfairly stolen from me. An opportunity to ignore Georgie’s advances and to take the other path.

It never happens, even in my dreams, even those moments in which she is still by my side I always witness her departure and relive her loss.

And it is all because I let myself be taken in by that asshole Georgie. Georgie who stole all that was good and holy in my life and replaced it with shit. In the fantasy books of my youth Georgie was the demon whose magic made him appear to be beautiful but to those few who could really see he was always a hideous repulsive maggot eaten mess.

The long arm of Father Time eventually wraps us all in his embrace, but it is a hug that is neither tender nor loving. The claim that time heals all wounds is a myth, it merely dulls the pain.

Filed Under: Fragments of Fiction

Be A Better Blogger- Writing Tools

May 6, 2010 by Jack Steiner 1 Comment

I like to write with reckless abandon. With great ferocity and an appetite for destruction. I sit down at the keyboard and start pounding out the paragraphs. Sometimes it produces works of great beauty and other times it is…less beautiful.

That is part of the beauty of blogging- the freedom that it provides to practice so that when I have to produce the words come when I call upon them. I write about writing on a regular basis. It is not always for the purpose of trying to find more work or to build a portfolio that I can use to solicit new business.

I write about writing because I like to make a conscious effort to think about what I am doing and why. I like to dissect and pull it apart so that I can find ways to improve. Really, I write for me first and for you afterwards. It has always been this way and I suspect that it always will be. Writing is where I empty out the closets and shake loose the dust that accumulate inside. Mental spring cleaning.

If you want to be a better blogger than you need to engage in exercises that help you improve your writing. You need to do the things that help you compose compelling content. Practice is a giant part of that, but it is not the sole thing that you should do.

Great writing is produced from passion. Pick a topic that makes your heart sing or your blood boil. It doesn’t matter to me which you choose as long as you find a way to tap into the feelings that lie just beneath the surface. Sometimes you can do that by looking at pictures and or listening to music.

Music is one of my favorite tools. My iTunes library has about 4,000 songs in it. It is filled with playlists that I have created to help set a tone and or create a mood. Dancing In The Fire, Words on a Page– these stories wouldn’t exist without music. They have mental soundtracks that play inside my head and help me find my way. Sometimes when things fall into place the way I want those same songs help the reader to better understand and or relate to the story I am trying to tell.

But you should bear in mind that while music can be one of your greatest assets it can also distract the reader. Words set to music resonate and rock. It is a dual edged sword that you need to wield carefully.

One of the more obvious but overlooked tools is your vocabulary. The stronger and broader your vocabulary is the better served you will be. Words are powerful and the only way to effectively unleash that power is to do everything you can to build a mental warehouse that you can pull from as needed.

I tend to visualize it as being like a Costco or Home Depot like facility. It is a huge space filled with shelves that have pallets stacked from floor to ceiling. The shelves are organized, but they are also filled full of the words that I use.

Building a bigger vocabulary is quite simple. There are endless numbers of books that have been written whose sole purpose is to help you increase your command of the language. A word of caution. Good writing can be killed by improper use of words. Don’t try to spice up your posts with language that you are unfamiliar with. Integrate it slowly so that it feels natural. Otherwise you risk you sounding ridiculous.

And don’t forget to read, read, read and then read some more. It is another simple tool that you can use to help improve your own writing. Watch and learn how others craft their thoughts and ideas and you’ll find little tricks that you can adapt to your own purposes.

I would also add that it never hurts to read so that you can further your own education. A broad base of knowledge is always useful or so I have found it to be.

If you are interested in reading more posts about writing you might want to check out some or all of the following posts. It is not a complete list but it should suffice for now.

My Best Writing
Be a Better Blogger- Write More Frequently
The Greatest Blog Post Never Written
My Best Posts Are Often Heartwrenching
If I Was a Professional Blogger
What I Dream About

Filed Under: Writing

Midweek Summary

May 6, 2010 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

The posts come fast and furious here. If you are not careful you just might miss out on something special. 😉 Here is a quick roundup of what has run so far. More to come later:

Another Stupid Video
The Angry Side
Tuesday Night Tune Session
New Driver’s License
The Male Brain Versus The Female Brain
Improve Your Marriage/Relationship Immediately
Letters I have Written- Never Meaning to Send
I Hate Good Enough
Festival of Fathers- A Blog Experience #9

And your blast from the past:

Cookie Monster Cures Writer’s Block
Dancing In The Fire
A Big Girl Bed

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Angry Side

May 5, 2010 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Death WatermelonIf you want to know how I feel about astrology you need to understand Jack’s rule regarding horoscopes. Good horoscopes are always true and bad are simply false. It is really that simple or at least I think so. It is a slightly different perspective from my 86 year old neighbor who believes that there is more to it.

Or should I say that she tells me that I am the embodiment of a perfect Taurus. I don’t know if I agree with all of the descriptions of my sign, or maybe I just don’t want to accept the negative alongside the positive. Kind of a silly thing really, I am mature enough to admit that I have faults. Yep, I said faults, that means two. 😉

Anyway, the one area that I know that I share in common with the bull is a temper. It takes some effort to bring it out of me. Very few things are serious enough for me to waste getting angry about, but every now and then it happens. More on this in a moment.

The dark haired beauty is going to be a flower girl a little bit later this year. So last night she went dress shopping with her mom and the bride. So I decided that it was a good excuse for a boy’s night out and took my son to Du-Pars for dinner. Nothing fancy was required, just some comfort food and quiet time for the boys.

We were seated in a booth next to a couple of women who spent much of the meal passing a cellphone back and forth so that they could talk to Jen. It was a very dull conversation and something that I had no interest in listening to. Under slightly different circumstances (without my son) I might have said something, but I didn’t feel like dealing with the fight that I was sure would come afterwards.

On the way home the big guy and I spent some time discussing common courtesy and general manners. He knew that I was irritated with the two women and wanted to know why I didn’t stick up for myself. I explained to him that sometimes we have to weigh the benefits of taking action versus silence and why this didn’t merit any attention.

That led to a discussion about how to deal with anger and why I have told him not to let his temper guide his actions. He told me that it made perfect sense and promised that he would try not to act solely out of emotion. I told him that sometimes it can’t be helped and explained that I wasn’t saying that you can’t ever get angry. I don’t want him stuffing it down.

Flash forward to Tuesday evening. It was a very long day for me filled with all sorts of stressful moments that tested my patience. It is almost bedtime and I have two children who think that listening to their parents is optional and a puppy who decides that he is going to leave two sets of presents for me.

I am at the end of my rope but the kids ignore it and push one more time. Most of the time that last push would receive a sharp glare and a verbal warning that is rarely ignored. But since today is a special day I lose it and scream. The kids think that’s funny and start laughing.

Good old Jack decides that the best response is to kick the coffee table. Too bad that it wasn’t on tape because I tore that sucker up. One kick and Cosell starts shouting “Down Goes Frazier!”

There is immediate silence. The kids have never seen me really blow up like that and now I have provided them with a lifelong memory of something I am not proud of. Thirty years from now I’ll hear “do you remember when dad broke the coffee table?”

So much for being a role model. I don’t mind them seeing me get angry, but I’d prefer that they not see that. I guess now they need to see me try and fix the table. Might as well try and turn this into some sort of teaching opportunity.

Confession: I am not proud of this, but I have to admit that the five year-old boy that lives inside of me wishes he could see it on tape. It probably looked kind of cool.

Filed Under: Children, Life

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