The Dirtiest Headline You Never Read

Sleeping bag with arms and legs

Sleeping bag with arms and legs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dig through the archives here and you’ll find more than a few posts about that favorite male body part known as the penis. Most of them aren’t prurient in nature because they are tied into parenting tales about discussions I have had with my children.

If you are interested click on this link and you’ll find your way to a post that links to some of the better ones such as the story about the cartoon character whose penis was in the wrong place as well as conversations about broken and sad penises.

One day I am going to have a good time reminding my kids about some of these conversations, especially my son who has 18,9387,382 friends sleeping over tonight to celebrate his 12th birthday.

Of course I am obligated to say sleepover even though everyone knows that is code for “keep dad awake all night long.”

Blogging To Stay Awake

The funny thing about blogging to stay awake is that I routinely stay up well past 1 AM but I am exhausted now. Did I mention that it is only 11:45?

Damn kids have worn me out, but I must concede that overall it hasn’t been too bad. Most of them are pretty well behaved, if only they would stop shrieking.

Fortunately puberty is going to kick in soon and the shriek won’t hurt my ears the same way. The big question is whether my eardrums will explode first or if I’ll end up catatonic and drooling on the couch.

A Different Sort Of Penis Story

Anyhoo since I am still awake I decided to share with you a story that once made the wacky Shmata Queen roar with laughter. It is called The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure.

I first blogged about this encounter in 2006 but I think it is still kind of funny and you might too.

But have no fear because in case you don’t you have lots of other posts to read such as Thank You Paul Simon, One Slightly Used Pump For Sale or Reading and Writing.

Got to run now because it is time for me to try to wrangle these children into sleeping bags and some semblance of sleep.

See you all in the A.M.

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  1. Tim Bonner December 23, 2012 at 3:51 am

    Oh boy, I’m looking forward to those sleepovers when my son’s a bit older.

    I hope you got some sleep yourself and you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning!

  2. Betsy Cross December 23, 2012 at 3:48 am

    I don’t do sleepovers anymore unless they’re in a tent in the back yard on in a far away cellar room. I like my sleep. I did, however, sleep through a nine-hour Risk marathon that my kids had the other night ’til 3:30 am. They are very lucky I did.

  3. Stan Faryna December 23, 2012 at 3:17 am

    Good times!

  4. Bev December 23, 2012 at 3:05 am

    You’re a great father Jack. This sleepover will be a memory, the keeper kind. You’re also a great storyteller.

    • Jack December 24, 2012 at 1:16 am

      Hi Bev,

      Thank you. I really appreciate it. My son had a great time and I couldn’t be happier for him, but these sleepovers are hard. Midway through I hate them, but the next morning I am usually happy, especially when I see the look on his face.

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