When Blogging Became a Popularity Contest

“I am my own man now and you don’t have to agree or like my decisions but you have to accept them.”

Sometimes your kids say things to you that just make you want to beam with pride and that was one of them. Little Jack is 12.5 now and I couldn’t have been prouder than to hear and watch him tell me how things were going to be.

Sadly for him I hid my smile and told him that was not how things were going to be because I am his father and sometimes he is going to have to do things that he doesn’t like to do. I would have liked to have told him he was channeling me and that this attitude would take him far in life but it wasn’t appropriate for the moment.

Blogging As A Popularity Contest

Maybe I am still thinking about a writer’s voice and maybe I am still stuck on monetizing the blog but I get fed up with the popularity contests surrounding blogging.

All I Want To Do Is Write and not worry about the nonsense that comes with blogging. Believe it or not I sometimes get tired or writing posts like How To Make More Money and Have Better Sex Through Blogging and The Dad Blogger’s Guide To Blogging- A Writer’s Tool Kit Part One.

But I always come back to the same places that I addressed inThe Problem With Blogging Conference Speakers and that is the question of is what I am doing now going to help me reach where I want to go.

If I want to make more money as a writer and use the blog to help me get there do I have to spend more time playing the popularity game. Or alternatively can I adjust that and spend more time on my marketing efforts.

Is it a reasonable compromise and am I willing to do the work.

Do The Work

The willingness to do the work is a huge part of how far we go in life. I can complain about blogging being a popularity contest and point out that a lack of invitations to some events and addition to some lists is because I don’t play that game.

But I can also be accountable for not doing other things too to make that happen.

I can say without question that my not being in the kind of shape I want to be in is because I haven’t adjusted my eating habits. I am 44 but I like to eat like I am still 24. Either I adjust my diet or increase how long I spend in the gym.

Ok, it doesn’t have to be an either/or proposition, I could do some of both, but whose talking. Shut up.

If I want to be a published author I have to do more than just say I need an agent/publisher/willingness to self publish. I have to do the work that is required to make those things happen.

I write more than most people do because I love it and because it is part of doing the work to become a better writer but it is not enough.


Accountability is a big part of my life and something I keep talking to my kids about. If we have goals and desires we have to be accountable to ourselves first or we dramatically impact our ability to live our dreams and not dream our lives.

I don’t want to be the guy that always points the finger. I don’t want to wake up and say that if I had a new computer I could do better. It is true, this  laptop is dying and it is getting harder to work on it but that shouldn’t be the primary reason why I am not getting it done.

The primary reason has to be the guy in the mirror, the reflection. It has to be me because I am the only one I can control and even that is questionable at times.

We really have limited control in life, most of the time the best we can do is manage the situations we find ourselves in and go from there.

Is that a contradiction? Did I just say we can only control one thing and then in the next breath say we can’t.]

Yeah, I did, but that is life, a contradiction.

My Own Man

Fifteen hundred miles from here there is a 12.5 year-old boy who is working on becoming his own man. He is focused on trying to figure out how to find the path that suits him best.

I just hope that as I blaze my trail he figures out that sometimes I am going to force him to walk on my path but only because it is part how he’ll learn where and when he can branch off and truly become his own man.

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