You Won’t Learn How To Blog Or Be Sexier From This Post

She Had Sharp Teeth & Hands Like Sandpaper isn’t a post about The Shmata Queen but it might reference an experience from about 25 years or so ago.

Or maybe it doesn’t.

Why would I tell you about someone who might have thought the way to a man’s heart is to pull upon him as if she were using a block and tackle to pull the two ton prize stallion out of quick sand.

Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey

Ever hear of this band called The Beatles? Once upon a time they were considered to be pretty special. Do you think people criticized them for using that last subhead as the title of a song.

Did people go running Helter-Skelter because they couldn’t find Sgt. Pepper to tell him about the fool on the hill or the guy who said he was the walrus.

Maybe.

Some people still think Paul is dead and that we never did land on the moon. Hell I read today that the people who blew up the World Trade Center are responsible for trying to murder thousands of people in Syria.

Did I mention that they said it was the Jews and that we run the media too?

Yeah, I just said “we” because I am a member of the Tribe and in case you are wondering I just reviewed the notes from our last meeting with the Illuminati and Masons and I see that next week I am responsible for creating a media sensation to distract everyone from what is important.

Maybe I’ll do some twerking with Miley Cyrus.

Bacon Isn’t As Awesome As You Think

Believe me when I tell you that Bacon Products That Don’t Taste Like Bacon is about to become bigger than the Member’s Only jackets we used to wear in junior high.

You can go down to Electric avenue and pass the dutchie on the left hand side or take the double dutch bus if you want but that won’t help you all that much.

Some of might still wonder if I there is some sort of hidden message in this post. You might ask yourself if this is just Jack trying to make some sort of point and I’ll tell you that I rarely try to slide things into or by you.

But that is not me, I am more like Winston Churchill

“If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous whack.”

That is because simple works and it is harder to misunderstand and misconstrue. If I write the sky was blue, her lips were full and her eyes were empty it means exactly that.

It is not me trying to come up with some sort of clever metaphor.

This Makes Me Smile

Got a Venn diagram to share with you that I have seen in multiple places throughout the ‘Net. Don’t know who to credit for it but if I find out for certain I will pass it along.

I am big on providing attribution. I mention this not because people continue to steal my work but because sometimes people come through here and leave me nasty notes because they didn’t see the attribution for a picture or quote what have you.

Sometimes I screw up and don’t include it but often it is here and when you leave nasty comments because you didn’t see it I might respond in kind. Just remember if your introduction consists of throwing rocks at me I might choose to respond the same way and I have bigger rocks than you do.

Woohoo.

And now onto our diagram:

You Won’t Learn How To Blog Or Be Sexier From This Post

Maybe you learned something and maybe you didn’t but I do hope if nothing else you were entertained. I wrote this because I love to write and because the only way to become a better writer is to do a lot of reading and a lot of writing.

And now I am off to the gym because mind and body are connected.

See you soon.

• Saved: Blog, Writing