Writing, Music & Breakfast Sandwiches

Paul Simon is singing about him and Julio doing their thing at the school yard but I am day dreaming about the Hamilton Beach 25475A Breakfast Sandwich Maker.

No, that is not an affiliate link but maybe it should be.

Doesn’t really matter because unless all 9,982 of you decide to buy one I won’t earn enough to take my dear Shmata Queen out for more than a beer.

But I can’t think about that because I am too busy thinking about how if I had one of those sandwich makers I’d be in the kitchen now making a midnight snack. My headphones would be on and I’d be taking advantage of Amazon prime music (listening to Jim Croce now) while I cooked up something special.

Man, oh man, I shouldn’t be able to smell something so tasty when I can’t make it but then again I have the sort of imagination that makes it easy for me to picture almost anything.

To quote the boss in Tunnel of Love:

“There’s a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I’m laughing at you you’re laughing at me
There’s a room of shadows that gets so dark brother
It’s easy for two people to lose each other in this tunnel of love”

Don’t bother trying to make sense of the free form ramblings of a middle aged man after midnight because if you do you might fall down that rabbit hole that Alice got lost in.

Speaking of lost, I lost it today with the kids.

The Angry Father

I rarely yell at the kids, in large part because they are good and it is not needed. But there are moments where my eyes narrow and I find myself losing patience.

It is the usual sort of thing, kids being kids and add that to my having less tolerance for the normal shenanigans it isn’t hard to see their pressing my buttons might lead me to make the windows shake.

Actually I haven’t ever made the windows shake by yelling but a truck passed by tonight while I was reading them the riot act and I took credit for making the windows shake.

Told the kids I was tired of being ignored, tired of feeling like they don’t care about clutter and unwilling to let them live like sloths.

Daughter rolled her eyes at me and I took the book she was reading out of her hands and threw it on the floor. Not my finest moment but I won’t have the eye rolling nor is she allowed to show that kind of disrespect in general.

The kids know if we are talking I better see eyes looking at me and not at phones or iPods.

It is important to me they learn proper manners. I do my best not to talk to them while staring at my phone, the courtesy should flow both directions.

Blogging And Game Playing

Been a part of multiple conversations with various people about how to increase traffic, what sort of metrics are meaningful and exchanging ideas about blogging in general.

Lately these conversations want to make me tear my hair out because an old curmudgeon like me likes blogging because I enjoy writing/storytelling.

While I have done things to monetize the blog, reviews, giveaways and sponsored posts among others I have never played the game as hard as I could.

I haven’t devoted the energy I could to hitting the conferences, reaching out to sponsors and making friends with the right people. I just don’t want to play the game. I like doing this on my terms and when opportunities come my way I am happy to take advantage of them if they make sense but I don’t have the desire to engage in the nonsense I see elsewhere.

Not saying those who do are bad  people. Many of them are very good people and I like them because they are the same person on and off blog. But there are others who just aren’t.

Transition time is taking a lot of energy and focus and forcing me to spend it elsewhere and I am ok with that.

The Courage to Change

If I had known about the sandwich maker when I was in Texas I probably would have bought it. I would have made myself breakfast sandwiches for lunch and dinner too.

Course I did it sometimes without the sandwich maker so you might argue I don’t really need it but I might suggest I want it as a time saver. Our time is limited and I can hear that tick tocking so I pay attention to finding ways to maximize my ability to focus on the key areas.

I love to eat, probably more than I should but right now I could use the few extra minutes it takes to cook those sandwiches by hand. Course if it is healthier to cook by hand it might be worth not spending the money on it.

Then again I don’t have any cash to devote to it so it doesn’t matter.

It is an interesting time because in some ways I am as a poor as I have ever been, cash reserves are rapidly fading but remember the two things I said here:

I am not a fucking tree and I don’t have to stay rooted to things that don’t help me live the kind of life that makes my heart full and my soul sing.

and

in some ways I am more me than ever before.

That means in a short time if I really want to buy that sandwich maker it won’t be a question because this moment in time is like the period where the caterpillar snoozes in his cocoon.

Won’t be long before I’ll break free, spread my wings and take flight.

Listen carefully and tell me if you hear that Yawp.

That’s me.

• Saved: Blogging, Children, Life