Archives for October 2014

Long ago in the days when I was part of a wolf pack and not a lone wolf I used to pass the house above. ‘D’ lived around the corner and when we would hang out I would pass by and sometimes wonder who lived in a house like that.

Back in those days I had other ideas about what life would be like when I was all growed up and none of them looked like they do now. Not even close which shows me how naive I was about some things and how much I have grown in others.

It never would have occurred to that guy to ask if you were living your dreams because he was certain he was on the verge of doing all that he had once imagined he would do. I wonder if that kid would have been more resilient at bouncing back from some things or if he had enjoyed too much comfort to just move on after some of the other crap.

Hard to say and not particularly important but old Jack is a curious man and he’ll wander down a pace or two just to see if he get a gander at what lies yonder.

Dude would have laughed at some of the content in You Shouldn’t Blog About Sex On Halloween and The 69 Scary Reasons Halloween Should Be Banned. But it wouldn’t have taken him long to roll his eyes and wonder why I just didn’t shake of this disruption.

Texas wasn’t quite right without those kids and LA wasn’t quite the same without Texas. It was disconcerting and I wondered if it was just nerves or if I would drive back and discover that the gut was truly unhappy.

And then I got here and confirmed that nothing feels quite right.

I am on a seesaw and it is irritating the fuck out of me.

Yeah, I sometimes swear in my posts. When The Rhythm of Life Is Disturbed

I guess that is part of the difference between me and him is I have learned sometimes you can’t just shake loose of some things. Sometimes there are moments that last a minute and minutes that last a lifetime because of things that are outside your control.

What is kind of funny to me is that he and I would look at the video below and nod because I am sure he would get it as much I do now. But that moment would probably be prefaced by his wondering how I didn’t figure it all out between then and now.

A Disruption In The Rhythm Of Life

This moment in time is part of a disruption in the rhythm of life. It is a moment where I would like to have my own Spock to talk to, someone who was certain about the path to take and the choice to make.

I might not make that choice or take that path but we could and would debate it.

But the thing about disruptions is they don’t always provide those opportunities and now I replay these words again.

Spock: Captain, I cannot allow you to do this!

Bones: Jim, you’re not actually going after this guy, are you?

James T. Kirk: I have no idea what I’m supposed to do! I only know what I *can* do!

Star Trek Into Darkness

This shot would be perfect for some of the fiction I write and I probably should save it for that but it also fits the post you are reading now.

It is a post based upon what if, as what if you got all you dreamed of what would life look like then?

That photo is supposed to have sort of a mix of mystery and magic, like you walked down that alley and the world changes.

What Would Happen If You Got What You Wanted?

Sometimes I ask my kids to think about the question and to answer it because it is useful for teaching moments. But it is not limited to working with them to think about what cause and effect. Not limited to trying to help them see how what we do now can affect the future.

It is useful for adults to think about what it is we want. I don’t know about you but I have a lot of different dreams and I am actively working on turning some of them into reality.

Dreams are important to me, they are part of what motivates me to keep going. But sometimes I like to do a reality check and think about what my dreams are and ask which of them are relegated to improbable and which are impossible.

There is a place or space between impossible and improbable that is important to me as well because it is the center spot called possible.  The realm of possible is always exciting to me because those dreams are things that I see as being accessible and achievable. They require work, time and effort but they aren’t dependent on luck.

I look at things that are dependent upon luck as being contingent upon effort and desire. Effort and desire leads to success and the improbable dreams are built upon small victories that lead to large ones.

One of the reasons I ask what would happen if you got what you wanted is it helps me to identify what I want as well as what I need. Flip through the pages here and you’ll see it is a regular theme.

Might be because I have been immersed in change for a while, might be for a variety of other reasons. What I know for certain is my heart hurts and my soul aches because the path I was on was wrong for me.

Took a bit of time to sort out and accept but once I did it became clear I needed to figure out the answers to want and need.

Why?

If you don’t know what you want or need you can’t actively work on obtaining them. Once you identify them you place yourself in a position in which you can create a road map that leads to them.

One of the other reasons why I like to ask the question is as we grow people change and so do some of our dreams so it makes sense to think about it from time to time and figure out where things are at.

What Happens If You Get What You Want?

It is an obvious question. What happens if you get what you want? What happens if you figure out what you want and what you need and manage to get those things?

Someone call the Shmata Queen and remind her I know things and that among those is I am a practical dreamer.

My first focus is on getting what I need and the second is on getting what I want. I don’t expect to get it all in one fell swoop and as I said people change over time.

I am not going to limit myself solely to what I want now. I want to write several books. In the future I may want to write screenplays for the movies or maybe for Broadway.

I don’t know and I don’t have to know all that I may want. I just have to ask the question and determine if I am willing to go after whatever it is my heart desires.

A practical dreamer breaks things into pieces and then goes from there.

What about you? Do you know what you want?

Your old friend Jack kids around about being an old man but he doesn’t think of himself as such, no sir.

The guy I picture in my mind is somewhere between 19 and 25. He has a full head of hair, muscles that ripples when he moves and has trouble buying shirts that fit him because his shoulders are broad and his waist/belly are trim.

Sometimes he looks at the mirror and wonders who had the bright idea of buying one of those carnival fun house mirrors because he surely doesn’t look like the image he reflected back at him.

After he recoils in horror and makes a mental note to avoid the donuts and extra slice of pizza he puts on his superhero costume, the one that says “Dad” on it and goes about his day.

Today our superhero encountered his arch nemesis time. You can read the tale of their battle below.

Going To College Makes You Feel Old

Not so long ago someone got the bright idea to try to save money by not extending my contract which placed me in a position in which I needed to spend some time wandering among the people looking for a new place to hang my hat.

Yeah, that is a sort of silly way of saying I am in between positions now and looking for work. Since I am stuck in the position of having to do the heavy lifting the opportunities I can take are more limited than I would like them to be, but a superhero does what is required to save the day.

A short while ago a friend reached out to invite me to join him at a job fair at our alma mater.

I asked him if it would be appropriate for experienced professionals and he insisted it would be so I agreed to join him.

So today he and I put on suits and ties and wandered among the coeds who believe that 80 plus degree weather requires short sleeves, short pants and a back pack.

I won’t tell you about that decades after I graduated they still haven’t figured out how to make enough parking for the students and people who need it or specifics about how other things hadn’t changed.

Because let’s be honest, the view walking across campus wasn’t all that bad. Can’t complain about seeing some hot California girls walking around until you realize you are old enough to be their father.

It is not a secret, but you don’t really think about it until you ask someone to point out the new building the job fair is in. It wasn’t there when you were a student and when you mention this to the students they of course ask when you attended school.

Insult turns to injury when you find out they weren’t yet born when you were a freshman and suddenly going back to college makes you feel old.

Time Meets Jack

Still you persevere. You continue your forced march across the concrete and green and arrive at the fair.

Inside you discover you are among the very few who wore a suit and tie which is part of why some students ask you what companies you represent.

You move through the room and silently curse how crowded and loud it is looking for the few booths you marked as being companies you wanted to speak with.

Of course when you get to those booths you try not to be distracted by the realization that the person you are speaking with is much younger than you are and is looking for people who have limited experience.

It makes sense to you that they would search for new grads but you were told by your buddy and the career center there was a reason for you to be there.

You battle time and manage to get a few good licks in and when you head off to lunch feel like you got something out of it. Since you are on campus you figure you might as well grab a bite to eat there.

Back in the day your time was your own so you could have gone off campus and blown a few hours, but not today.

So you stand in line with a bunch of students, grab a meal and then sit down to eat. While eating you realize the kids sitting next to you are talking about a television show your son watches and the same video games he plays.

Since he is in 8th grade you wonder if that means he is really mature or that the kids who are talking are really immature.

But mostly it just makes you think that going back to college makes you feel really old. 🙂

Sometimes bad headlines don’t matter but that is usually because you have built a relationship with your readers and they have enough faith in your ability to provide entertaining and or educational content to visit regardless of headlines.

Been thinking about this headline business because many of the headlines I have been writing have been focused on my ideas/thoughts about the post and not on trying to encourage new readers to come visit.

Of course if you know me you know I have mixed feelings about headlines and it is not because I have trouble writing them but because so many people spend too much time focusing on the headline and not on the content.

A great sandwich requires more than just great bread.

The Second Part Of My Quest

Been thinking about all that has happened in the last year and trying to figure out if my perception of how it all unfolded is accurate or not. If I look at 2013 I can see that I accomplished every major goal I had on my list of things to do.

Part of me feels pretty good about that but I am not satisfied because it feels like so much of what I did came undone and I wonder about some of the decisions I made.

The beauty of the blog is it enables me to look back and try to gain some insight as to what happened so that I can identify the moments. So I started by grabbing a post from October 30, 2013.

Those things I felt came about, not all, but many and perhaps the most important. Can’t be more specific than that because there are boundaries in blogging that even an unfiltered man like I maintain.

But I recognize that in the midst of much joy there is some anger and frustration there too. So in my cryptic manner let me continue by saying it felt a bit like I managed to steal fire from the gods and then they tried to steal it back/

So now I am in the second part of my quest.

Twelve months later I look back and those feelings haven’t changed. I read further down the post to see if I missed something and I come across this:

I moved heaven and earth to find out whether it was intuition or desire. It was both. Now I have to play out this hand and work through the second part of the quest to see what happens.

Part of me is quite certain because I know things. What happened in 1724 isn’t limited or done. It is just in transition. Time will tell how that all plays out.

I can’t decide if I am inspired, infuriated, motivated or frustrated by this.

Because when you put all you have into forcing something that is upside down and inside out into reverting to its proper shape you cannot not be upset when your work comes undone.

Yet I am not entirely sure it is as messed up as it feels. Maybe I am too close to it all and missing perspective so I go with my gut and flip through some more posts to see what I see.

These are not the write words for the work that needs to be done but soon they shall be. The Right Words

Something about that feels right, might be because I don’t feel like I am expressing myself as clearly as I want and some it is because the reference in the post to being in the on deck circle makes sense too.

The Right Words Written Right Write Their Own Tales

That is a headline from yet another post I read again today. Several of the quotes I used in it jump out at me because they fit now just as they did then.

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” Oscar Wilde

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.“ Oscar Wilde

“Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.“ Thomas A. Edison

Maybe I have good reason to be frustrated. Maybe things I worked on came undone and I can shake my head because no one likes feeling like their hard work was for nothing.

But maybe I am missing the bigger picture. I have to deal with a lot of crap, much of it unexpected and it has left a bad taste in my mouth. Some of the people I normally would rely upon let me down and that frustrates me.

It is always good to be part of the pack except the thing is, sometimes I enjoy being the lone wolf and doing my own thing.

If my kids were upset about something I’d tell them to take deep breath and think about it. I’d help them walk through what happened and try to help them gain some perspective and then we’d have a better chance of seeing the truth.

So I am going to take my own advice and take another deep breath and try to figure out if I am missing the forest for the trees here. Not all I accomplished fell apart and not all I have done is lost.

Sometimes perspective makes a big difference.

Blogging Every Day Is Easy- The Class Of ’69 Speaks seems to be a strange way to open a post about how most people are afraid to live but the crazy man who runs this joint operates off of what he feels in his gut and what he sees with his eyes.

I am not talking about the Strawberry Fields living with eyes closed is easy kind of life either. That crazy man committed himself to opening himself up to a life in which possibility turns into opportunity and he is doing his damnedest to follow through on the promises he made.

Ask him to try to explain and he might tell you about how experiences forced him to readjust his perspective and his approach. He might tell you that when you are forced to give up holding onto certain beliefs and are relieved of possessions you learn to adapt to your situation or you go crazy trying to figure out why you fell down the damn hill.

And since I am that crazy guy I can tell you when I fell down the damn hill I went over a cliff and bounced down the side of the mountain enough to make nick, scrape and bruise gather together to try to come up with a more descriptive term.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I decided I couldn’t keep doing as I was doing because it wasn’t working and that I had to come up with a new approach.

Circumstances helped force me to move and to take chances I had been unwilling to take before. The value of failure isn’t limited to the way it motivates you not to spend time with it again but in how it removes your fear of it.

That is a big part of what enables you to jump off of the cliff and say you’ll learn how to fly on the way down because somewhere in the midst of chaos you stop wondering if flight is possible and you just do it.

Where Do You Find Opportunity?

Einstein is correct. You find opportunity in the middle of difficulty. When the children face a challenge I remind them it is time to think hard about solutions and try to remember them for the future.

I tell them complacency and comfort sometimes fool us into thinking there is no reason to fight inertia and to try to make things happen sooner.

“Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life. ” ― The Phantom Tollbooth

Those kids of mine have heard me tell them the biggest regrets of my life are usually tied into the moments where I didn’t take advantage of time. They have heard me say I never want to be the guy that says I let fear run my life and listened as I tried to explain it is not about being an adrenaline junkie.

It is about determining what you need and going after that. It is about recognizing those things may change as you age and not being afraid to pivot and adjust.

“You must never feel badly about making mistakes … as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.” ― The Phantom Tollbooth

Sometimes we don’t recognize the most important moments as they happen. Sometimes we miss them but not always. Sometimes we catch on and recognize that even if we didn’t pivot when we first could have we can find an opportunity and intersection to do so down the road.

I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t pass through the tollbooth before because I wasn’t ready to pay the price but it changed a while back and now I know that I will.

Now I know that when I hear the bells ringing I won’t and I don’t ignore them. I just keep doing what I have to do to get to that intersection because I know what I want and I know what I need.

I’d rather fall trying to grab that brass ring than just stare at it each time I pass by it.