This post was supposed to be one where I repurposed the content in Sex, Lies & Blogging- The Post That Went Viral but I changed my mind.
Something about the responses toÂ What Happens When People Donâ€™t Comment On Our Blogs?Â andÂ She Saved My HeartÂ made me decide to go a different direction.
I am not entirely sure why or what turned my head and made me see something different. Might be because I wanted to write another story about Remorse Brown or becauseÂ Sometimes Bad Headlines Donâ€™t MatterÂ but most of it is probably because I am on fire right now.
It is hard not to be angry when I see pictures of people handing out candy after a terrorist attack. Hard not to be angry when I don’t see outrage when men walk into a synagogue with knives and guns and start slaughtering people and the headlines and article offer some sort of moral equivalency explanation for the unforgivable.
Authentic and Raw
Life has been a bit more challenging as of late. The work has been slower and the cash flow hasn’t been anywhere close to what it needs to be. An acquaintance described it as bad luck and bad timing but that is not how I see it.
When you are up against it, you are up against it.
There is a difference between feeling a little pressure and a lot.
But I was built to last.
I was made to dance in the fire and march through the storms and I do what is required so that I get to the other side. In a few moments I’ll go take a shower, get dressed and visit my mother.
She had surgery today. It is supposed to be relatively minor and if all went well she’ll be in the hospital for a few days.
That is my expectation but she is old enough now that I pay more attention to standard medical procedures. Mom would be pissed if she heard me say that, she’d say she is not old enough for me to think like that.
She’d tell you no one believes all of her kids are over forty and she’d smile.
When I tell her some of the guys and I have started talking about whether we want to do something big for our 50th birthdays she shakes her head and tells me that I still have more than a few years before it happens.
But sometimes she looks at me and asks if it is really five years.
I get it because sometimes I look at my kids and wonder how they reached this place. I suppose all parents do it.
The authentic and raw hold my attention in ways that others don’t. That is because sometimes I think my best writing comes from my being able to tear into the painful places inside my head.
I used to worry and wonder about it because I was worried about whether I could call upon the gods of writing if I was happy and content. But then I thought about it and found posts that showed I could do it and had done it.
Don’t Take Blogging Too Seriously
It might sound like a contradiction but I really don’t take this business all that seriously. You canÂ read posts like Do You Miss Old Fashioned Blogging? andÂ send me emails saying I contradict myself but I’ll tell you that you don’t get it.
You don’t understand where I am coming from.
I had to make a course correction not because life was a motherfucker but because I was dying.
It wasn’t literal but it didn’t change that what I was doing was killing me from the inside out. I had to go this route, had to follow my heart.
That was a lot to swallow and a big change but I accepted it because I knew it would make me feel better and it did. Did because I started the journey to live a life that would fill my heart and soul with joy.
Doesn’t mean there won’t be bumps in the road or bandits to deal with. Doesn’t mean that sometimes the desperados will find a way steal my horse and or sabotage my car because that crap comes with it all.
The only question lies in how I choose to respond and to reply.
When you don’t take blogging seriously you come up with goofy headlines like:
- Why Do Clowns Make Better Lovers Than Mimes?
- I Am The Bruce Lee Of Dad Bloggers
- What Do Broken Condoms Have To Do With Blogging
- 500 Ways To Have Better Sex & Earn Money From Blogging
It means you just write and you don’t worry about how many people will share, tweet, comment or pin your posts.
You don’t worry about whether you ever appear on Huffpo or anywhere else. You just write and you don’t have to worry about gaming the system.
I Hear Music
Some people will find these tales and moments to be of interest and will join usÂ on the journey and others won’t. Some might walk with us for a ways and some for the whole distance, I don’t know.
All I know is that I hear music inside my head and know there are stories waiting to be told.
So I am going to wander upon the trails that have already been marked and blaze some that haven’t in search of the song.
Some days you burn the bridges so that you can’t go backwards and can only go ahead. Today I am carrying a torch and lighting following a fire in the sky that I can see day or night.
What about you?