Sex, Lies & Blogging- The Post That Went Viral

In the time it took you to read these words 1,983,983 other people pointed, clicked and surfed away from this cyber oasis. They left because they weren’t captivated, compelled or interested in anything they saw here.

The headline failed to hold their attention. They weren’t interested in hearing about being a dad blogger or reading the words I have written about blogging. They don’t care about tales of parenting or stories that may or may not be fiction.

Bam, I just lost another 459,984 potential readers. I guess I better offer something substantial so that those people with short attention spans can stick with it.

Those posts above are part of an incomplete collection or words I have written about blogging. It is a collection of thoughts, ideas and general advice for how to be a better blogger/writer.

Some of those posts really are worth reading. I didn’t link to them solely for you because I like to revisit them. I like to see if I have changed, evolved, and or grown. I like to remember. I like to review. It is a way to see if I have grown, not as a person but as a writer.

Building Connections

We are building connections, you and I. We’re taking a journey together down country roads and through mountain passes. Some of you will picture us heading towards Mount Doom to destroy the ring and others will see us rafting down the mighty Mississippi River. I am Huck Finn and you’re Tom Sawyer, or maybe it is reversed.

Doesn’t really matter, not as long as you identify with these words.

I ask you if you know what brings you joy and what makes you happy. I tell you that I feel like the universe is sending me signs and messages and then in the next breath say that I don’t believe in that kind of stuff.

I wonder out loud what happens when you get what you want. If I was completely fulfilled would I be the same writer. Let’s face it, some of my best stuff comes when I am really happy/sad/angry/scared. Damn, that makes me sound unhinged and kind of crazy, doesn’t it.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Of The Blogosphere

Some of you have discovered that not all that glitters is gold. Some of you are concerned because you have come across frauds, con artists and charlatans. You are angry, upset and concerned about whether you can trust those you meet online.

The answer is that we are all the same here as in the real world.  Perhaps it is better to say that some people will lie, cheat and steal from you in person or online. It is not nice, pleasant or good but it is real.

You need to pay attention. You need to make the best decisions you can based upon the information you have. If you go through my posts and my links you’ll see that I write about the boundaries of blogging.

I wonder about what lines should be drawn and where they should exist. You read the words I share with you and gain some insight into me. If you listen to my audioposts or watch my videos you learn more, but only a little.

That is not necessarily because I am guarded and cautious but because there are limits to what I share. And because sometimes I do a poor job of expressing myself or because you are in a hurry and you misunderstand.

Doesn’t matter what the cause is. What matters is that you pay attention. What matters is that you remember that there are real people mixed in here and that there are lots of good people online.

The generosity and goodness is heartwarming. If you ask for help you will find it. But it is always best to keep in mind that people remember how you made them feel. That is something I try to focus on. That is because I am a Taurus and we don’t always have such a gentle nature.

The Write Words

Every day I do my best to share the write words written right. Every day I hope that my posts go viral and that my children will see that being a daddy blogger is one way of turning dreams into reality.

It all started with a few keystrokes and the desire to do more than pound the pavement. There are days when I want to murder my blog. Moments of madness where I look at these words and wonder if I shouldn’t start over.

But I don’t. I don’t because of you who comment and you who don’t. I don’t because I have spent years saying that if you sustain your effort good things happen.

3,983 more people just pointed, clicked and moved on to the next place- but others didn’t. Others didn’t because they saw something here that resonated with them. They read your comment and decided to see why you said what you said. So they read my posts and bookmarked my blog and surfed over to your place.

And then they told a few friends who told a few friends, who told a few friends and suddenly we both saw amazing things happen. None of this takes place in a vacuum. We are all walking down this road….together.

Thank you again to all who have been my traveling companions. If you have read this far I would love for you to share a thought or two in the comments, especially those of you who spend most of your time lurking.

Thank you again, your presence here means more than you know.

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  1. Pingback: Sex, Lies & Blogging- The Post That Went Viral...Again

  2. wilyguy June 2, 2012 at 2:55 am

    Makes perfect sense to me.


  3. penneyfox April 12, 2012 at 8:27 am

    You hit that one out of the ballpark! This really struck me – “tell you that I feel like the universe is sending me signs and messages” Sometime last year, I started to notice the messengers and their messages coming into my life. I would wrap myself up into this concern or that problem and then out of no where, this person who I’ve never met or someone I haven’t talked to in years would show up. And they would come to me with some answers. It’s kinda creepy when you start to open your eyes. So I totally get that point you made here.

    Second thing and a bit more personal – the Taurus stuff. I thought I saw something on your Pinterest boards about that but didn’t really take notice until now. I’m a Taurus too, never did put much into that stuff about what it means to be one. Just always figured it was me being me. Don’t like to think of it as not having a gentle nature and trust me – I GET what you’re saying here!. I know I’m stubborn and all the other words they use to define us. Just kinda interesting me to see another way to connect with others in the blogger world 🙂

    • Jack April 12, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      Hi Penney,

      I am really torn about the whole sign and “it is meant to be” thing. Every time I feel like I have made up my mind something pushes me one way or another. I am not wishy washy, but this stuff really makes me feel like I am.

      So I am trying to just be open about all of it, maybe there is something.

      Anyhoo, I like being a Taurus and think it is the best sign. I might be biased about that and it is fair to say that I didn’t have any say in the matter.

      The bull is kind and gentle- until you piss it off. 😉

  4. Jens P. Berget April 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    Hi Jack,

    I used to think short term, and it was all about getting extra visitors every single day. But, then I started to discover the power of connections and meeting people online, and nothing we do are really about numbers. If we think long term, any single reader is very important and can be the one that changes our lives (at least that’s what I believe).

    • Jack April 12, 2012 at 12:11 am

      Hi Jens,

      That magical,mythical one person. I think about them too because you are right- one person can make a difference.

      I won’t ignore the possibility nor discount it. I think you are right to talk about long term because when we sustain our effort good things happen. See, I say that stuff all the time. 😉

  5. JanB April 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    I know what you mean. I blog to and sometimes promote a blog on Twitter. A catchy pitch for your post cab make all the difference.
    I just published a new blog post about a typical stop at a restroom me and my girlfriend made diving from Myrtle Beach to Pensacola Fl., pointing out some differences in how men and women use those public restrooms. At first I pitched it at Twitter with something like “Road trip from South Carolina to Florida! We have made it”. Nothing much happened. Then I changed the pitch to “The differences between boys and girls, everything you ever need to know.”… Whammo.
    Just saying: ‘Sex sells’.
    Strange thing was it didn’t really show up in the number of comments, but in pageviews…

    • Jack April 12, 2012 at 12:09 am

      Hi Jan,

      Headlines make me nuts, just crazy because I hate catering to the instant gratification society. It bothers me this need to try to come up with something clever because we hope that someone will deign to give us a quick 15 second look.

      Yet it is reality and sometimes it doesn’t pay to fight it. A good headline can really work wonders for your posts.

  6. Sandi Amorim April 11, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    I was trying to think of a song with the word lurker in it but alas, I came up empty-handed. Then again, I’m not always a lurker; sometimes I just don’t think I have anything to add to the conversation or maybe I’ve had a day where I just talked too damn much. Funny how that desire to stop talking shows up even in my commenting.

    And now I’m rambling and not sure how to wrap this up…

    Wait, hang on…it’s coming back to me…

    Whether I comment or not your writing always makes me think and maybe look at things from a different perspective. I love that about your blog. So maybe, in the end I’m a JackB lurkie (kind of like a groupie but not!)

    • Jack April 12, 2012 at 12:03 am

      Hi Sandi,

      I understand how that feeling of being talked out goes. Some times I just read and move on too. I find myself growing much quieter as I age, don’t know if there is any correlation between the two, just something that occurs to me.

      Don’t mind having you as a lurkie at all, I appreciate your time. Besides you are among the most active people on the FB fan page so I know you are paying attention.

      All good and all appreciated.

  7. Bill Dorman April 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Where is the share button?

  8. Bill Dorman April 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Only because it was all new and I was meeting people at an incredible pace did I think social and IRL were two separate tracks. They really aren’t and whatever you experience in here you are likely to have experienced it IRL too. I guess early on maybe some of us were naive and didn’t think ‘nasty’ or unscrupulous people would inhabit social……ha……

    I try to keep my eyes open and just take it for what it’s worth. I’m comfortable with the people I’ve been hanging with, hope you are as well.

    • Jack April 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm

      Early on it is easy to sort of forget that people are the same here and offline. You don’t interact in the same way and it is easy for you to miss the man/woman with the snake eyes, but given a little bit of time we all figure it out.

      I am a floater. I move around multiple groups and hang out wherever feels good. But like you I spend most of my time in the places that are warmest and with the people who I like best.

  9. Kristen April 11, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I’ll be the Sam to your Frodo anytime, my friend, into the very depths of Mordor, into the very fires of Mount Doom.

    • Jack April 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm

      And this is part of why I am grateful to have you as a friend- you just get it. The references, the work etc.

      The way I see it part of the joy is in the journey. It is not forgetting to enjoy and learn from of it- from the Mines of Moria to the breaking of the fellowship and afterwards.

      I’d be proud to have you as my Sam, more than a few people say he is the real hero of the story.

  10. Del April 11, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Like with anything, sticking it out, will pay off in someway. I think it is important for people to realize that many types of people exist online, but I am the type to respect all until time after time they disrespect me. I dont use socialmedia as a ego boost or self esteem creator, but as a way to share ideas that I hope people will take up for consideration. I thought your post was great and read it to the end. It doesnt take much but some new thought to get me interested, and a positive message is a must. I have learned to never give up when people want me to, but that is a lesson I have learned from many great people. Good Luck and enjoy your day!

    • Jack April 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm

      Hi Del,

      I appreciate your coming by and in agreement with you regarding the need to stick it out. Sustain your effort is something I say frequently because it makes a huge difference. It is not always easy to do, but it is so very important.

  11. Chris Mitchell April 11, 2012 at 4:57 am

    I appreciate the open, raw struggle you reveal with your blogging. As one who has started and stopped several times, I need encouragement and honesty to keep at it. I find so many areas of life worthy of expression, but just can’t seem to pull it all together. Keep up the flow, Jack!

    • Jack April 11, 2012 at 11:33 pm

      Hi Chris,

      It is good to see you here. You can do this. You have stories to tell- so tell them. Write them down and don’t worry about the ifs, ands or any of that other stuff. Just write. Really, if you work at it you will see it gets easier.

  12. Pingback: He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss) « The unofficial blog of Stan Faryna

  13. Vanita April 11, 2012 at 3:45 am

    i absolutely agree with you Jack. People offline and online are just people. How you communicate with them doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change who they really are. Sustain your effort Jack, I’d hate to see this blog change.

  14. Stan Faryna April 11, 2012 at 1:49 am

    Would you blog (once per week or more) if you had a $200k/year salary, worked 12 hour days at an office, and traveled six days per month?

    Someone asked me that last night. Honestly, I think I would blog. But that wasn’t the answer they wanted to hear.

  15. Betsy Cross April 11, 2012 at 1:05 am

    I was driving home last night and a random thought popped in, I asked myself,”Did I really say that on….’s post? What was I thinking???” HA! Sometimes I over share. and laugh at myself. You said it best: “that makes me sound unhinged and kind of crazy, doesn’t it.” But that makes it so much more fun! I wonder if I’ll ever decide to have stricter limits on what I share.
    As for trust being built or broken online I’m just grateful that there is an online world to visit. It has blessed my life a lot. I’m always shocked to hear that someone has had a negative experience.
    Anyways, the millions who skidded through our blogs are the same ones who pass us on the sidewalks. No big deal. I smile at them anyways!

    • Jack April 11, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      Hi Betsy,

      I am a walking contradiction because while I am conscious of what I share I am also willing to say most anything, any place and at any time.

      The areas I try to be most cautious of surround my kids and family because some of those stories really aren’t mine to tell with the same alacrity as before.

      But overall I still love this online world. It really has been and continues to be great.

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