The condom broke isn’t the opening to a story about a time the condom broke because if I wanted to write a story about sex I’d share the tale of the time a bear interrupted my girlfriend and I (true story) but that is not our topic today.
Those three words come from a discussion about taglines in The Original Dad Blogger- What Is A Tagline Worth?
Flip through it and you’ll get a chance to see what taglines I considered using here and insight into the continued issue with wanting to build a bigger blog without playing the traditional reindeer blog games others do.
I suppose I could share some of those thoughts here and talk about what can happen if you never go to blog conferences or meet other bloggers in person but that is not of particular interest today so we’ll move on.
On The Outside Looking In
My teenager and I talked about what it feels like to be on the outside looking in. When he said it is how he feels sometimes I nodded my head and told him I understood because sometimes I feel that way too.
He was surprised to hear it because he figured it was something that goes away when you get older and I smiled.
“It comes and goes for me. I don’t think about it very often. If I thought about it I’d probably say sometimes it happens because we put ourselves in that situation.”
He nodded his head and listened as to me explain he and I like to do things our way and sometimes it is different from how others do it.
“When you don’t pay much attention to what everyone else is saying or doing sometimes you feel like you missed something. Maybe we did or maybe we didn’t. Bigger question to me is asking whether it matters if we did.”
I ought to add that last line to my next post about blogging.
What Kind Of Father Are You?
Every now and then I ask myself if I am the kind of father I want to be and wonder if I am the kind of father my kids need me to be.
Most of the time I answer affirmatively to the latter and no to the former.
I am a good father but I have spent so much time putting out fires and juggling chainsaws I feel like I am not giving or doing as much as I can.
The reflection in the mirror says I am being too tough on myself and I laugh. That is because I am a stubborn curmudgeon who wants straight answers to questions but not always.
Yeah, it is a contradiction.
Sometimes I want my straight answer served like piping hot black coffee and sometimes I need it to be warm enough to feel good but not burn my throat on the way down.
Sometimes a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Ego helps and hurts.
I know what I am capable of. I know what I have been dealing with and it is fair to say I have had my hands full.
When you spend large chunks of time playing Atlas it is natural to feel spent and to want some time to do nothing but handle your own business.
It is natural to want to grab some quiet space and to work on doing things that restore your energy, that fill your heart and soul.
Except we don’t always get those quiet moments and the waves that batter the light house never stop lapping at the walls.
When it feels like you are doing the heavy lifting on your own it is easy to get lost.
Yet ego comes into play and asks why you didn’t find a way to get around and or beyond. Accountability says maybe ego is responsible for not playing nice and maybe ego should have shut up.
Accountability says nothing happens in a vacuum and maybe you share responsibility for burning down the house and juggling chainsaws one handed.
The lesson I took from Please Give Me A Second Chance is that I wouldn’t ever be Max.
I refused to live a life where I spent all of my time wishing I could start over but never did anything about it.
You’ll find posts here where I talk about feeling trapped, miserable and or unhappy but you’ll also find posts that show I tried to change things.
And that is what I am going to continue to do.
I don’t like how things are today. I woke up last week and said out loud “this is not what I want” because I wanted my ears to hear my heart speaking what I feel.
There is going to come a day sooner than later where I wake up and know I sailed through the storms and found the calm I was looking for.
Doesn’t mean there won’t be other battles to fight because there always are but every now and then we reach the shore and if we keep our eyes open we recognize what we have earned.
Larceny, Mutiny and Insanity
Every now and then I think about changing the tagline here. I don’t know if anyone gets the sarcasm and snark in “The Original Dad Blogger” and I wonder if it just makes me sound like a bitter blogger.
Larceny, mutiny and insanity feels fun to me. Don’t know if it is quite what I am looking for either but the beauty of blogging lies in the ease with which we can change.
Wouldn’t be hard to change once, twice or even 1,983 times. Of course 1,983 times wouldn’t help me with my branding and it would require unnecessary work but it could be done if I wanted to.
The hardest part of change isn’t change, it is taking that first step.
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Tracy February 24, 2015 at 6:10 am
Larceny, mutiny and insanity sounds fun to me too. Before too long your son will also figure out there’s no such thing as a grown up – just people pretending to be grown-up. Which is the EXACT reason larceny, mutiny and insanity is so important.
The JackB February 24, 2015 at 7:59 am
@tracycrazyasnormal:disqus Yeah, I am with people who pretend to be grown up all the time but I can’t blame all of them for my insanity. Some of it was just my own luck. 😉
Larry February 23, 2015 at 6:52 pm
I love that first quote.
I often feel like I’m on the outside looking in.
The JackB February 24, 2015 at 7:45 am
@Lardavbern:disqus I miss George Carlin, he was one of my all time favorites.
I obviously know that outside looking in feeling.
Janine Huldie February 23, 2015 at 4:40 pm
That last line is so true and I think the same applies as we get older, it is even harder to change ourselves, as well, because we become more of a force to reckoned with where change is indeed concerned (at least I know this is the case with myself as I have aged).
The JackB February 24, 2015 at 7:45 am
@JanineHuldie:disqus In my world that last line is the biggest challenge, bar none. I don’t particularly like change but I tend not to be afraid of it. It is more of I am so freaking busy it is hard to take the time to start.
Kind of silly really, but sometimes that is how life is.