Sunday night is here and I haven’t finished packing yet.
This is not the sort of behavior I model for the kids but they aren’t here right now I am not going to worry about trying to teach them the proper way of doing things.
I know what needs to be done and what should be done but the fact is I am mentally exhausted and just don’t feel like doing more right now.
Second fact is that I am only going away for a few nights so packing isn’t particularly hard. Already got 90 percent of it done, what I haven’t done is my final check to make sure that I have all I need.
Knowing me I’ll still do a check tonight and then once again in the morning. It will happen after the shave and shower when I haven’t any more need to use my toiletries.
I’ll get in the car and part way there I’ll wonder if I forgot something and want to pull over but I’ll resist the urge and keep going because I am not leaving civilization.
If I really need something else I can get it.
A Change of Scenery
Sometimes whenÂ Youâ€™re Standing In Your Own SunshineÂ you overthink things because you don’t want to make a mistake.
It is a foolish sort of bugaboo to give into, especially when you believe in certain things and teach them to your children.
Life is meant to be lived and you have to take risks.
I have a habit of swinging for the fences but over time I have learned it is ok to adjust and just go for a bunch of singles and doubles.
I tell the kids they can do that too. Life is also about small victories leading to big ones.
Life Is About Painting A Picture
Those of you who have been following along the last few weeks or maybe even year or so know it has been challenging and that I am uncertain about this next step.
But I am doing it because this is where I really am showing my kids what is important. This is where I teach them that sometimes we do what we don’t want to because it is necessary to get to the next rung on the ladder we are climbing.
When you are painting a picture of experiences in life it can’t only be sunshine and roses, the darkness must be included.
But darkness provides context and contrast you can use to appreciate what you have.
The Pipes Are Calling
I am listening to The Celtic Tenors sing Danny Boy and looking up at the ceiling trying to figure out when I got to be this nervous and yet so very confident about what I think is going to happen.
It is a strange dichotomy.
I have the ongoing war between heart and head here. One says to trust what you can taste, touch and feel and the other just laughs.
Laughs because there are things the head cannot know that only a heart can understand.
Somewhere in the midst of it all my head recalls something from my childhood, a vague memory that is tied into this topic.
I can’t seem to grasp it in its entirety, just a wisp of a spider web-like thread but I have this sense it is important so I’ll let it be and see if it surfaces later on.
Jack The Painter
I am not bringing the computer with me so I don’t know if I am going to update the blog or not.
Might use my phone, might not.
All depends on how much time I have and how interested I am in using the small screen to transcribe my experiences.
But you can trust that old Jack will be doing lots of painting and I’ll share some of it with you later on.
I’ll see you in the comments and do my best to update when I can.