Die Blog Die- 983 Reasons To Only Trust Your Lying Heart

Condom
The rules of the blog dictate brutal honesty but since I am the author of said rules it is entirely up to me to abide by or modify them.

I could tell you about the countless hours I have spent trying to polish the rough edges here so that when you stumble through the archives you’ll find material like Some Old Posts For Your Consideration waiting for you in a manner I consider to be presentable.

It is not because you’ll see quips about writer’s block and how the Shmata Queen called me her favorite dweeb or because I hope you’ll learn about Blogavoidance.

Nor is it because I want you to read 5 Jedi Mind Tricks That Make People Read Your Post because what I am doing is avoiding the things I should be writing about.

What I should do here is fill the pages with all of the frustration and anger I fill now because people relate to authenticity and it might be useful.

A Blog Has Many Purposes

You can’t see me bouncing in my seat or feel the sparks flying from my fingers and that is ok. I don’t need you to.

The point isn’t to garner sympathy or empathy but to use this cyber sandbox I play in to clarify my thoughts and to clear my head.

If you have been hanging around for a while this won’t be the first time you have heard me say a blog doesn’t have to be a recollection of the craziest things your kids did or what happened the first time you flew with a triplets and  no spouse.

Doesn’t have to be to teach you about how to be more effective at social media or how to write a better tale.

Although it could be, one of my favorite posts was about how I made Sister Mary see god and how Father Pete almost walked in on us.

That post was fun to write, generated a bunch of comments and is one that still makes me smile, but sometimes you go a different direction for clarity.

Because sometimes you use the words on the page to illuminate the darkest corners of your mind to confirm your deepest secrets.

I have already written some of them down and deleted them because I saw what I needed to see and learned what I could there.

I may be open and unfiltered but there are limits to how much I am willing to share with you and everyone else. An open door doesn’t mean you get unfettered access and even those who have been given the keys have found their access restricted because sometimes that is just what you need to do.

An open door doesn’t mean you get unfettered access and even those who have been given the keys have found their access restricted because sometimes that is just what you need to do.

To be honest, made me feel a bit wistful and sort of sad but we all protect our hearts as best we can with the understanding that the doors that are closed today can be opened just as easily tomorrow.

Die Blog Die- 983 Reasons To Only Trust Your Lying Heart

If you want to know what scares me about this blog is how sometimes it feels like my best writing comes from a well of deep emotion.

It worries me to wonder about whether I have to be upset to pull the best prose out of me.

A person shouldn’t have to bleed to get to that place but it is not how it always works for me. There are moments where I find that place without having had to make like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk.

It is part of why I spend so much time writing.

The more you practice the easier it becomes to find that place without the emotional assistance.

That reminds me, those of you who are new to the journey probably wonder what is driving some of the craziness flowing from my fingertips so I’ll do my best to give you a short answer.

I moved back to LA from Texas the last week of October 2013 and in the time since I feel like some of the biggest accomplishments of my life have been taken from me.

That may not be true but not because I lied about it but because of perspective.

Perspective is part of why I am writing this down because this is how I step back and try to ascertain if I am acting like a whiny fool or if there is some truth to this madness.

You see I can devise answers that make it clear that I am exaggerating and convince myself fatigue is clouding my judgment but there is nothing worse than lying to yourself about the things that are most important to you.

The day will come when I will tell my children about how that includes being honest about who you really love and who you don’t.

I’ll tell them it will include being honest about what you really want to do with your life and who you want to do it with.

I know the answers to those questions. They are different today than they once were but that is ok people change and grow and the smart ones figure out how to adapt to what comes with that.

How To Get People To Comment On Your Posts

If my children ever ask me how to get people to comment on their posts I’ll tell them that the posts about how to be a better blogger or writer are good for that.

I’ll tell them that simple questions about favorite books, movies and music are good too and point out that sometimes the really personal posts scare people.

We’ll talk again about the importance of clarity and the reasons why you blog, including clarity of mind and purpose.

Maybe we’ll talk about some more about how proud I am of them and how they never cease to amaze me. Maybe I’ll share how careful I became about what stories I shared once they became a certain age so that I could help them gain the ability to create their own digital footprint.

And maybe, just maybe I’ll tell them I hoped people liked my writing and that sometimes it is hard to be so damn intense which is why we work so damn hard to find the things and people that fill our hearts and soothe our souls.

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Comments

  1. I reserve the right to edit my life. I pick and choose what to share, and what to keep. Some of it is out of respect for other’s privacy, some of it is for my own.

    And some of it, I figure I might get arrested for 😛

  2. I like the line: An open door doesn’t mean you get unfettered access.
    I hear you on that. We share on our blog but we decide what to share and how to share it. Despite having a blog, I still feel I am a private person, and I don’t want that to change.

  3. “The more you practice the easier it becomes to find that place without the emotional assistance.”

    ^^That is so true.

    I also think it’s important to remind ourselves that as bloggers we can’t and won’t always make everyone happy. Some will read and relate. Others will vehemently disagree. Others will bounce before the page finishes loading. I’ve decided that I write for myself and for my kids to read when they’re old enough to understand. If anyone else reads and enjoys it great. If it helps them or improves their lives in any way, then that’s just icing on the cake.

    • Hi RJ,

      I don’t think I could have lasted if I spent more time wondering and worrying about whether people enjoy what they read here. Blogging is about engagement but it is also very much about personal interest as both reader and writer.

      If you don’t enjoy what you are doing you just won’t last. I am definitely a fan of writing for our kids to read later on.

  4. I was totally thinking about this in the past few days and somedays I wonder why I love blogging, as I truly am such a big believer in reading and commenting. A big thing for me is the community aspect and I truly do enjoy sharing my inner thoughts and if others relate that is the cherry on the cake, I suppose and if they don’t I still feel like I got my words down to never forget them, too. I guess either way, I am truly fine with it, as I just feel this is something that is a part of me for better or worse.

    • You are good about commenting and engaging on both your blog and elsewhere. Many people don’t do it very well anymore, don’t know what the reason for that is, just that it exists.

      I am a fan of conversation and blogging still provides that.

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