69 Reasons Why SCOTUS & LinkBait Will Make You Gay

There is a tremendous cheer and a general gnashing of teeth going on around parts both near and far.

I am wondering if I ought to play them Love Sick by Bob Dylan or if I should force them to watch my dear friend Inigo Montoya repeat his lines time and time again.

Or maybe I ought to share with them how funny it is to me to hear my children say, “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to Die!”

Sometimes I jump out and yell, “I am here. I am good. Dad’s ok” and then they shake their heads at me and ask why I must be so silly.


I tell them because it is more fun to be silly than sad and happy than angry. Besides I am good at it.

They know I know lots of silly stories but some like The Sloppy Kisser, The Flying Clown and One Slightly Used Pump For Sale have been withheld because they aren’t ready for them yet and may never be.

Because there are some stories that children never need to learn about their parents.

Heck there are some stories parents don’t want to be able to tell about their children which is part of why the teenage college years can make our hair turn white.

You never want to be able to say, “oh, I see that you are busy” but I digress.

69 Reasons Why SCOTUS & LinkBait Will Make You Gay

My Facebook feed has been filled with a mix of ecstasy and dismay. I have read multiple updates from Constitutional scholars who have declared with all of the authority they didn’t earn in law school or elsewhere that the judgments made by SCOTUS are legal/illegal.

Some of these social media scholars have made me hope they never procreate or be given positions of influence because the world would surely explode if they did.

Or maybe it wouldn’t.

Maybe things would be better.

To those who tell me with sarcasm that I should be happy because I can marry my dog or livestock I can only say I am currently too poor to own a farm, let alone cattle or sheep.

But I hope to one day because I just know that Old Bessie and I will be happy, so happy I’d even consider moving to cleveland.

Einstein miracle

In more serious news or rather a more serious bent my daughter has issued instructions of great import to me.

“Daddy, I would like to move and I don’t care where as long as it is not Fargo and it has WiFi so I can Facetime with my friends.”

Since I promised she would get her own cell phone by the time she started middle school this WiFi thing isn’t as big a deal t0 her in some ways.

That girl of mine will send out 9,983,234 text messages from her phone and she will prove that some girls still love to talk on the phone.

However WiFi will be a very big deal to me because it will help me try to ensure she doesn’t devour all of our data in a day.

She and her brother have also been told that during some of the car trips we take they have to turn off their electronics so they can see the world around them.

I have told them I worry about their necks maintaining enough strength to hold their heads upright and so we will exercise those muscles by working them.

Old Al and I are in agreement about how to view the world and I want them to see that too. I want them to understand I firmly believe that there are miraculous things to see and experience.

Wander through Sequoia, Yosemite and Big Sur and you cannot help but be awestruck by some of what you see.

Go elsewhere and check out Joshua Tree or just sit on the sand and watch the waves roll in and you get another chance to recognize how very small humans are compared to nature.


When you open yourself up to possibility you often discover that opportunity comes racing after you. One can choose to be alive or to simply be live.

There is a difference. I know what my choice is.

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  1. Renee McKinley June 26, 2015 at 4:56 pm

    Live, Jack, as hard as you can. Having reached the end of a life chapter, I’m reveling in my unemployment. I’ll get scared by that later. No time for that right now. I’ve picked wild raspberries two days, I’d have gone after more today, but it was raining, although if I could have kept the Cutter’s from washing off I might have. The Mosquitos are like condors this year. I’ve baked bread, shelled peas, and keep waking up by 6am even though I don’t have to. Because I’ll miss something. And I don’t want to miss a thing in this new adventure. And my brain is starting to remember its twisted sense of story. I’m writing again, kinda rusty bad writing. But…I have words. So, I think I’ll live, and dance and find that person that’s been set aside for far too long. She keeps grinning, I think I like her.

    • jacksteiner June 27, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      Hi Renee,

      I wish you luck on the next part of your adventure and promise I am doing my best to live hard. Push to write because if you don’t when you have time you won’t when you don’t either.

  2. Larry June 26, 2015 at 1:21 pm

    Know what you mean about the neck thing. I made my son simply look around the room caused I worried all that looking at the Kindle would hurt him.
    Funny bit about the farm animals.

  3. Gary Mathews June 26, 2015 at 11:37 am

    Facebook has been rather “lively” today that’s for sure.

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