The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for June 2015

Some Things I’ll Teach My Children- 2015 Edition

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lifejourney

This is the third edition of this list. The first was written in 2005 and the second in 2010.

If you want to compare the prior versions you are welcome to click the links above, but you don’t have to because I am including all I said before and the new stuff in the list below.

Yep, it is all inclusive, more or less.

  1. Laugh, love and learn always and forever.
  2. Never forget to hold your friends and family close to you.
  3. A good hug can change your day. Everyone needs a hug. We all need to touch and be held.
  4. The majority opinion is not always right nor the most moral/ethical.
  5. Some things are worth fighting for and some are not. The hard part is discerning which is which.
  6. You can never read too many books but you must always supplement your reading/education by doing.
  7. Travel and interact with the world around you.
  8. Learn to speak more than one language.
  9. Play a team sport and learn how to be a team player.
  10. Understand that life is a journey and that half the fun is indeed getting there.
  11. Life is filled with moments, some good and some bad. Just remember this too shall pass.
  12. If saying goodbye doesn’t hurt than whatever it was probably wasn’t worth much.
  13. Take pictures of friends, places and loved ones. They’ll help preserve some great memories.
  14. Try not to grow up too quickly. Childhood is but a short time.
  15. Look for magic.
  16. Remember that you may not always agree with your parents but they also are looking out for your best interests.
  17. Disconnect from your electronics for a while and look at the world around you.
  18. Learn how to read a map. Electronic devices fail or run out of charge.
  19. Focus on basic math skills so that you are not chained to electronics.
  20. Exercise your mind and body every day.
  21. Don’t let fear of failure prevent you from taking chances.
  22. You should be a realist but don’t let that prevent you from being optimistic about your life.
  23. You can’t control everything that happens but you can control how you respond. See #23.
  24. Sometimes stupidity is contagious. Pay attention to where you are at, what you are doing and who you’re with.
  25. Don’t rely upon luck. Work hard and you’ll create your own opportunities.

When Opportunity Knocks Where Will You Be?

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Dear Children,

Tonight is the night before your graduations and though you have more than a few years of school to finish before you head out into the working world I cannot help but try to provide some advice.


Important Moments

This time four years ago I knew we were going to have to give up the house and that for you it was going to feel like life had been turned upside down and inside out.

The night we told you we were going to move you both cried and I remember being screamed at. You said you didn’t understand how I could be so nonchalant and unemotional about it but that wasn’t true.

I was in a place beyond anger and frustration but I wasn’t willing to share that part with you that day because you needed your father to be calm and certain about the changes that were coming.

Believe me, The Story Of A House- The Final Days doesn’t begin to show the depth of my feelings on the matter but let’s save that for a different day.

Today let’s focus on other things, like accomplishments, awareness and the ability to roll with whatever life sends your way.

Graduation, Accomplishments & Time

We couldn’t be more proud of the people you are and have so much confidence in the people you will become.

Tomorrow won’t be the last graduation for either one of you but it very well might be for some of your classmates. I don’t say that to dismiss, demean or denigrate them either.

It comes from life experience and the knowledge that we never know how much time we have. Some students will be lost to tragedy and some will simply fall between the cracks and not get too far beyond where they are now.

The experiences you have had with having to move homes and change schools has already helped you recognize that you can handle change with far less difficulty than you once imagined.

Though it might seem inconsequential or a tiny victory it is bigger than you think. You might be surprised by how many people struggle with change.

I know this from my own experience. There was a long while where I fought change so that I could stay in my comfort zone.

That is something that doesn’t happen to me very often, if at all anymore.

Why?

Because I have very few regrets and they are almost always tied up in my not having been willing to change things up as quickly as I should have been.

When Opportunity Knocks Where Will You Be?

Some people will poo-poo that quote above.

They’ll tell you it is a line from a movie and be disrespectful to time.

That is a mistake.

I can promise you one day you will be my age and you will wonder how so much time rolled by so quickly and you’ll wonder if you did your best to make use of it.

You’ll wonder if you squandered a resource you can never get back.

This is why I am so fervent in my desire to pursue certain dreams and to take certain chances. It is because without risk there is no reward and because sometimes we don’t recognize the size of the opportunity in front of us.

Sometimes we misunderstand it and think of it as being less than stellar so we don’t chase it the way we could.

Some opportunities come around more than once and fool us into thinking that all or most will be like that but we never really know.

You have seen pictures of ‘D’ and know that he was like a brother to me but I don’t think you really understand how young he was when he died.

We buried him.

I won’t ever forget the shoveling dirt on his casket and the silent promise I made to look out for his family and to do better with respecting time.

Learn from me. Learn from ‘D’ and do your best to respect time and be aware that some opportunities only come around once.

If you are aware and you choose not to go after one that is far different than being oblivious.

Remember This

You are loved and supported. You have the ability to choose to dream your lives or to try to live your dreams.

Life is always going to have moments where you feel like you’re trying to ride a tornado and others where things are so calm you begin to wonder if you are living a state of boredom.

With a bit of luck and a lot of hard work you’ll have far more good days than bad.

I love you very much and leave you with one of my favorite Albert Einstein quotes.

Einstein miracle

987 Bloggers You Shouldn’t Sleep With & 5 You Should

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Some people worry about headlines and others don’t because it is all narishkeit.

Foolishness that comes from our desire to try not to succumb to the dread disease of blog post failure.

bible

Some bloggers write about themselves in the third person and use content boxes to quote the words they wrote some years back because they found new meaning in them.

Oh wait, that is me I am talking about.

Part of what makes life so damn interesting is that you are given the choice to take what is in the box or what lies behind door number one but no one tells you what happens when you choose one or the other.

No one tells you which choice a wise person would make and which would belong to the fool. Sometimes it doesn’t matter because the fool can choose to be the wise person and the wise person can be the fool.

That is the joy of the journey. It is the chance to walk along a road and have experiences that you can’t possibly have without taking that walk. Peeling Back The Layers

The Best Bloggers Are Storytellers

I have written about this multiple times because if you want to become a great blogger you have to focus on becoming a better storyteller.

You have to learn how to create the sort of content that is captivating, creative and compelling.

Ya know the kind of shit that people will read like a gourmet meal, something to be savored and not devoured like a greasy pizza you eat after a night of drinking.

Smarter men than I would probably link to the first post I wrote about bloggers and storytellers because it received a double spoonful of comments and that might encourage some people to believe I have some talent.

Or maybe not.

*****

One of the things I love best about blogging is how easy it is for us to use it as a tool and guide to figure out where we were and where we are going.

It is a resource you can use repeatedly to determine what you think, feel and believe and whether you have any skill at sharing that with others.

It is a living chronicle of the lives of people who mean something to you, be it love or a blistering hate.

Flip through the pages and you’ll find references to those I care enough about to protect and those who are in dire need of defenestration, hopefully by me.

The blog is also a simple version of the bible Emerson referred to in the picture above. It is a collection of thoughts and ideas that have helped to shape and define my world.

987 Bloggers You Shouldn’t Sleep With & 5 You Should

Sometimes I craft these ridiculous headlines to see who will respond and to remind myself about where I want to focus my energy.

Could I work on coming up with headlines that aren’t silly and that are tied into my posts?

Yeah, I could do that.

Could I focus on telling simple stories that have a broader appeal than some of the things I have written about here?

Yeah, I could do that too but it wouldn’t be as honest as just writing.

I used to do more of it than I do now and it is possible that I might do so again. but I am not going to say how or when that will happen.

As people grow, blogs evolve.

Sometimes that means that readers unsubscribe (several have done so here) but that shouldn’t be something people fear.

Those who stick around are the people who really like what they read and find value in it. Not everyone will.

This blog has always been focused around and about the journey.

Journeys Make For Good Blog Fodder

There is a big moment coming up next week in my journey. A time that might have very significant influence on the direction we head in and something that will lead to plenty of blog fodder.

What I don’t know yet is how much of that fodder is going to be of the kind I can share. I don’t say that to be a tease or create interest.

I share it because as a dad blogger I have had to become very conscious of how much I can share about my children here.

When they were little it was really easy and now that they are not so little the rules have changed somewhat. There are boundaries in blogging.

Today I look back at that post about peeling back the layers and ask again when Monty Hall is going to show up because if ever there was a time when it made sense it would be now.

Today is the day for him to offer me whatever lies behind door number one or whatever lies in the box on the table.

There is no X-Ray vision or clairvoyance to help me choose. No way to figure out what the wise man would choose or if the choice made by the fool would be the smarter move.

All I can do is make the best choice I know how to make based upon limited information and then roll with it.

And with that you have the advice/commentary I give my children about many things.

Life is made for living and if you only play it safe you never really live.

I am about living.