Our Patron Saint- Our Lady of Getting Lucky
It is the Spring of 1988 and I am a 19 year-old freshman in college enjoying all of the freedom and benefits that university life has to offer. My initial plan to spend the year in Israel has been scrapped and I am pleasantly surprised by how much fun I am having.
There is a girl in my political science class that intrigues me. I have spent more than a few minutes trying to stare at her without getting caught. She has long black hair and dark eyes. Â It is quite warm in spring so I am treated to lots of sun dresses and or shorts. Some days I make a point to sit just behind her and to the side. From there I am able to drink deeply in the dreams I have of her. She has a lot of attention from men so I donâ€™t want to be like everyone else- I need to figure an angle that will make her notice me.
Little do I know that tripping over my own two feet will be enough to catch her eye.
Class has just ended and weâ€™re heading out of class to wherever we need to be. She is standing in front of me and my eyes are drawn downwards. I am walking but not watching where I am going and somehow I end up sprawled in the hallway. Donâ€™t know if I grunted, screamed or if she heard the soft thud my head made when it smacked the ground. What I do know is that Â I find her standing over me. She wants to know if I am ok. I mumble something at her and stand up. We talk for a moment. I attempt to be cool and fail miserably at it.
But the fall has broken the ice and we start to have conversations. I am ecstatic about it and work hard to say just enough not to sound like a fool. Â A few weeks pass and I gather the courage to ask her out. She takes me with her to a party at her friendâ€™s apartment and we grab a few drinks. I am more than pleased that she laughs at my jokes. She flips her hair and touches my arm throughout the night and I begin to think that maybe lady luck is with me.if I did it would be great for our Lady of Getting Lucky tonight to put a good word in for me.Click To Tweet
A short time later weâ€™re at her apartment. I try to figure out how to kiss her without looking foolish. I think to myself that Jewish kids donâ€™t have patron saints, but if I did it would be great for our Lady of Getting Lucky tonight to put a good word in for me. My silent prayer is answered and she invites me in.
Moments later her arms are wrapped around me and I am trying to hide my response. Canâ€™t give away all my secrets so quickly. A few soft kisses lead to her neck and I feel her melt. She grabs my face in her hands and I prepare to enter heaven when I receive a sudden and rude shock.
Her tongue is everywhere and not in a good way. Apparently my dream date has graduated from the St. Bernard School of Open Mouth Kissing. I stand there in shock trying to figure out if she thinks that my face is made of chocolate or peanut butter. Remember, I am 19 and the boys have told me that we want a woman who is a master with her tongue, but this isnâ€™t what they were talking aboutâ€¦now is it.
(Originally Posted Here)