Is She Still A Bitch?

Sometimes I forget that I am not blessed with the kind of rhythm that would allow me to dance in person the way I can dance in my dreams.

Sure, I can two-step and slow dance with well enough to make a woman be willing to share more than one dance with me and not because I won’t step on your feet.

But the ability to keep my size 12 EEE boots from flattening your toes isn’t really the kind of thing a man can hang his hat upon, no matter how badly he wants to get some credit for what he can do.

There is a fire burning inside my head and my belly, flames that can be the sort that pushes a man to be more than he his now and become a better person.

But they aren’t alone, because they’re matched by the sort of flames that love to be doused in gasoline and dipped in dynamite.

Is She Still A Bitch?

Children grow at a faster clip than most parents prefer and that includes the well behaved alongside the incorrigible.

Doesn’t matter what we do or say, they refuse to extend their time as youngsters so we find ourselves sometimes moving faster than we care to down both unmarked paths and well-blazed trails.

Sometimes I blame that speed for making me both a writer of silly stories and parental tales and testimony.

Whether that is true or not doesn’t particularly matter to me because what I enjoy best is having the opportunity to view snapshots of time such as that collected in I Told You She Is A Bitch.

“Dad, I want to tell you what really happened but I keep getting cut off.” I hate to admit this but I couldn’t help but interrupt then. “Monster, you were blessed in that department. The mohel only cut you once. One day you and your wife will thank me for that.”

“Ooh, I hate girls and I am not getting married.”

“I used to hate girls too and then something happened.”

“What happened. Did you get hit in the head.”

See, we are all comedians in this family.

“Nope, but I wish that I had. I could use an excuse. Anyway, speak quickly or your sister will step in and she speaks faster than both of us.”

I look at that particular segment and smile because it brings back that moment and it reminds me of the overall story and how a boy who was 11 but is now 15 hasn’t changed in some ways.

Conversations are more sophisticated as is his ability to understand the world around him but he still maintains that girls are both evil and annoying.

Now when these conversations rise they are different from how they once were because he’ll mention/ask about things his friends are saying and tell me he is not fond of watching them lose their minds over girls.

Sometimes it makes me laugh and I tell him it never really changes, girls and boys, men and women still lose their minds over each other.

He tells me he thinks some of it is ridiculous and I nod my head.

“Dad, have you ever lost your mind over a girl?”

“Yeah one or two have gotten under my skin.”

“What did they do? What did you do?”

Before I can answer he tells me about how many people he knows come from divorced families and says that might be enough of a reason to stay away from girls.

I laugh and tell him nature won’t let him ignore them the way he suggests and then he asks me if I have ever ignored a girl.

“Yeah, I have, sometimes I went dark, completely silent because I knew if I wanted her attention it was a way to get it.”

I can tell he wants to dig into it a bit deeper but he is not quite ready to admit that there might be more interest than he shares so I don’t press and the conversation goes elsewhere.

One Blogger Sails Away

A short while ago I discovered a place called Pixabay that provides free stock photos.

I have spent large chunks of time downloading photos from there because I want their help in telling the tales I share with you here.

I grab the photos not knowing whether I’ll use them but I figure those that call out to me will find their way into these posts and that is enough.

That shot of the ship on this post makes me smile and makes me dream of the adventures I have had and those yet to come.

There are are seas that call out to me and islands to be explored. It is part of why I have begun to work out harder and why I push myself to do an extra rep.

You never know when a landlubber like myself might need to find a way reach up into that crow’s nest so that they can help avoid the icebergs that are assuredly patrolling the depths in the dark.


They say Joshua won the battle of Jericho by tearing down the walls and part of me wonders what would happen if I chose to lay siege upon the walls of that castle.

What would happen if I sailed from parts unknown and landed upon those shores with the intent to take what isn’t mine.

If I chose to claim ownership upon it, what would happen.

It is direct contrast to what I have taught my children but in line with the do as I say, not as I do mantra we so often adopt as parents.

And if we were to go back to 2004 when I started writing my thoughts and ideas down you wouldn’t find that sort of conversation here because my infant daughter and preschool aged son couldn’t have that sort of conversation.

There was no nuance, it was good and bad.

Things Change

I didn’t watch the last two presidential debates because I chose not to.

Not because I don’t intend to vote because I have always and will always do so but for a different reason.

I needed to disconnect from some of the chaos.

I needed space from the 24-hour news cycle and from the preening and posturing. And I knew that my Facebook feed would be filled with finger pointing, finger waving and gnashing of teeth.

It is easier to read about what happened and what was said. Easier to read and not get caught up in the emotion, to see what plans are being shared and ideas floated about.

When there is a sole candidate on each side I will watch it all and do my best to determine who is qualified, competent and capable.

In the interim I am doing my best to stay away from the ranting I hear about how the other side is filled with idiots.

And I am talking with the children about making sure they educate themselves on the issues and question what they hear to see if it passes the possible and or probable tests.

But mostly I am thinking about what feeds my heart and fills my soul and thinking about how to set a course for those isles.

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