Got Dylan playing Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door flowing through my headphones and a healthy feeling of regret for having blown up at Steiner the Minor last night.
That kid of mine pushed all of my buttons and a few he didn’t know existed and saw a minor explosion.
It was a combination of fury, frustration and rage and I think he got his first real insight into why I have long said there is a line you never want to cross with me.
Since I promised to use the blog as a place to chronicle the moments of our lives and not just thoughts I’ll share a fragment of the event.
Someone might have stomped on a sandwich and thrown it. Someone might have said in a whisper that he wanted to destroy things and smiled while he said it would feel good to just let loose.
I apologized later on and told him he had been given many genetic gifts but the famous Steiner temper wasn’t one of them.
“I wasn’t afraid of you, but if I was still a little kid I might have been.”
I nodded my head and say I know. “I know myself and you couldn’t have pushed me like that when you were little. That doesn’t mean I am not responsible for my actions because I am, but relationships evolve.
You didn’t fight with me about some things then the way you do now.”
He nodded his head and we talked more.
I know I sound like a grumpy old man when I wave my finger at other bloggers and suggest they are doing this for the wrong reason.
I know some people will push back and tell me it is not my place to say who or who shouldn’t blog. They’ll tell me it is wrong and obnoxious to say what others should or shouldn’t do and I am cool with that.
It gets old to hear/see/read the same old comments/complaints about how to build your readership to get a book deal or invited to be a brand ambassador/speaker.
I don’t say it out of blog envy or any sort of jealousy.
I could do more to market and promote my blog. I could spend more time trying to hang with the cooler kids and get myself invited to more events and participate in more opportunities.
But I don’t.
Twelve years into this I am on a different part of the blogging journey than I once was and my place isn’t as well marked as it once was, if it ever was.
Parent Bloggers & Young Kids
Sometimes I’ll apply for the sponsored posts because I figure if you want to pay me a couple of bucks to write about a product/service I am happy to do so.
I’ll check it out and give you my honest opinion and in exchange the fee will help cover some of the costs of running this joint.
A short while ago I got turned down for one and was told that the reason I wasn’t chosen is because I am not a traditional dad blogger.
I didn’t respond to their email or rant about how unfair they are online because there are bigger issues in my life.
The funny thing was I got pitched three more times that day to review products that are really geared towards parents of younger children than mine.
If you ask me about potty training, strollers, infants and toys for young children I can tell you stories and share advice.
I have been there and done that…more than once.
But the truth is I haven’t changed a diaper on one of my kids in close to a decade. It is not something I think about except on the rare occasion.
My garage has an extensive collection of Thomas The Tank Engine and other cool toys for young kids but my kids don’t touch or look at those things anymore.
My sleepless nights aren’t caused by infants who can’t sleep but because I have a kid who is going to be driving soon, college tuition in the future and a Bat Mitzvah around the corner.
I started blogging when my son was 3, he’ll turn 16 this year.
Rolling Along With The Changes
Flip back through the pages and posts and you’ll find my thoughts about leaving my thirties and entering my forties.
You’ll see me write about saying goodbye to four grandparents too.
What is surreal to me is how much of my life has been covered here and how many big changes have come about.
What is surreal is how the boys and I are starting to talk about what we want to do for our fiftieth birthdays and how that went from being really old to something I can imagine turning.
Sometimes I flip back and see some of the posts where I griped about not being able to run like I wanted to and I laugh, because I was 35 then.
I could still play four days of basketball a week and be ok.
It might sound funny, but I remember that guy but I am not him anymore.
So much has happened, so many experiences have come and gone.
It changed me.
Or maybe I changed it.
I do my best to take advantage of my time in the driver’s seat.
My focus is upon doing the best I can to be the captain of my destiny and to take advantage of the opportunities that come along the road.
Blogging has been a huge, enormous and important part of it. It has helped me identify what is most important and critical to me.
Driving that Ferrari was exceptionalÂ and I only got to do it because of blogging.
But what I remember most is the combination of driving that car and the mile long smiles on my children’s’ faces after their time drifting in the Corvette.
Possessions can be taken, but memories and experiences are ours for a lifetime.