The mix of music on my iTunes has already played its way through The Long & Winding Road, Come Together and somehow made its way to the Fiddler On The Roof soundtrack.
It is a good combination of tunes for a day that feels twice as long as eternity.
Four cups of coffee, a Double-Double from In-N-Out and exhaustion is enough to get me dancing with Tevye around my room…sort of.
Sort of means there are boxes and things everywhere but none of those obstacles are enough to prevent me from singing Tradition to the empty room.
That is cuz the tradition in this house is that dad stays alone the night before the movers come so that he can manage the move unencumbered of parental duties.
Strange & Surreal
It feels strange and surreal to know our time living in the townhouse I never wanted to live in is…done.
The silence I normally welcome is deafening and the excitement I feel about moving towards a better future is tinged with a bittersweet taste.
This move is being broken up into two pieces, not by my choice but because it is how things worked out.
It means for a couple of weeks I’ll live in temporary housing and then make a bigger move to find new housing again.
The bigger move is the real step into creating the future I see us moving into but it doesn’t come without sacrifice.
I figure if my great-grandparents had the courage to leave all they knew behind for a shot at a better life this should be easy in comparison.
Old Jack Steiner speaks, reads and writes English, has a great job and is a citizen.
That is more than the aforementioned ancestors had and it doesn’t cover the ease with which technology shrinks the world.
A couple of clicks and I can communicate with friends and family or if need be I can hop on a plane and be back within a few hours.
And the thing is if I want to do more than Tevye and sing about becoming a rich man than I need to take advantage of opportunities when they are presented.
The thing is, when this one showed up I didn’t hesitate to do my best to make it my own and well now I get to find out what happens when you get what you asked for.
Are Fathers Better Lovers Than Mothers?
A few people heard about the new deal and offered unsolicited advice and criticism of my plans but I ignored them.
It is easy for people to tell you what they think you should do, especially when they won’t suffer the consequences of said advice.
I don’t wear a sweater when others are cold so why would I listen to their fears and commentary.
Doesn’t mean I won’t or don’t ever listen to what other people say, just that I am selective about it, especially when someone tells me a mother would never do that.
Gah, only an idiot tries to distinguish whether mothers or fathers love their children more.
Parents love their kids, the end.
The music in my ears never stops playing but even if it did I know the parade of images inside my head wouldn’t end.
Some hours earlier my 12-year-old daughter accompanied me on a run to get more boxes and take care of more errands surrounding the move.
Our conversation wandered through a variety of topics and ended up on jobs and marriage.
I told her my sweet girl I wanted her to get a great education, to study hard and work towards getting a good job.
She asked me why and I told her I wanted her to be self-sufficient and to not put herself in a position in which money dictates every choice and decision she has to make.
And now hours later the conversation replays in my head and I hope I did a good job of explaning and expressing my thoughts.
I hope she understands the point of the conversation is I want the best for her and I want her to live her life fully and completely.
I don’t want her to feel like she has to get married or to become a mother because society expects it. I want it for her if she wants it.
I want her to take advantage of all her potential.
The thing is I am working on about 9 hours of sleep over the past few days so I know I am beyond exhausted and I might not be as eloquent or clear as I want to be.
The Cries of The Unpacked
The movers will be here tomorrow around 8 so I must go.
I must go because of the awful cries of the unpacked possessions are haunting me the way Frume Sara haunted Tevye.
Tell the kids I love them, dad is off to make our future.