Life

I have watched a bunch of clips of Notting Hill and remembered how much I enjoyed it.

Got a short list of movies I haven’t seen in the theater yet that I plan on going soon. Since I am living the bachelor life I have the opportunity to go and see them in whatever order I want.

Sometimes I forget how much I love having the ability to make every big decision without having to do the negotiation thing and or create a list of pros/cons.

Ok, I have my internal list of pros/cons but it is always different when you are the one making the final decision.

Living It

I think I am doing a pretty damn good job of living out that ‘find what you are afraid of and live there.’

Not so sure I did it intentionally, but here I am…doing my best.

Some of the longtime readers occasionally reach out to ask about the tale of the love story.

“Jack, are you ever going to fill us in and let us know what happened or is happening?”

I could tell you I got her or she got me and then she lost me or I lost her. Could mix it up and say we found, lost, found each other or some other kind of mix.

She might show up in the comments and tell you I am spot on, crazy or confused. But she could just as easily not say anything to you but give me an earful.

And for those of you who are truly curious, I won’t tell you if I think I’ll walk away with a big smile having just gotten lucky or if my face will look like someone just stuck it in a bonfire.

What Comes Next

Fifteen years of blogging is the kind of anniversary some celebrate and some ignore because it seems silly.

Count me as currently undecided but sort of amused that I have hung on as long as I have and in as many places.

The aforementioned ‘lady of the blog’ has been around for the entire run and seen almost all of it which makes me wonder if she has an opinion.

Ok, I lie, she absolutely has an opinion on it but whether we’ll discuss it now, later or ever is a different story altogether.

For the moment I suppose I’ll let you wonder about our dance, her and I because we have been doing it for years.

Sometimes we circle, sometimes we point, sometimes we can come together and sometimes we move apart but there is an odd sort of rhythm that follows…always.

All of which reminds me that while we can’t say what comes next we know life has a way of making moments.

The only question is do we love and live the moments or just pass through them.

Ain’t it all peachy.

The Shmata Queen told me a short while back about all of the things in our lives that had changed and how it would make certain dreams impossible.

I didn’t respond or argue with it but my best guess is she knows damn well I didn’t accept it.

She might say it is because it’s news/information I don’t like or want to hear but I would debate that point.

I don’t like it but the reason I don’t accept it is because of all that I have seen and experienced which suggests to me that sometimes we don’t know as much about life and what might happen as we think.

Hell, there is no good reason for us to have met and yet we did.

Not only did we meet but we somehow found our way down the spiral path and through the inside out in ways that make it impossible for me to say things are impossible.

Sometimes you look at a woman and say I know you love me and she responds with something that sounds like “what a fool believes.”

I Make No More Predictions Upon This Page…Today

What comes down the road or doesn’t come isn’t defined by today or tomorrow or fate. It is a combination of all of these elements and something else.

Weird science it is, and now we walk the path not because we are curious to see what comes of particular and specific relationships but because it is what is required for all of life.

Can’t stay still and can’t stay hidden.

Got to keep walking and see what unfolds as we go.

It ought to be interesting.

Every day I take a moment or two to consider whether I am going to update things here and wonder how I went from posting sixty or seventy times a month to the current snail’s pace.

If there were no boundaries in blogging I could address it all in a couple of paragraphs but there are boundaries and so I cannot give you a complete tale.

All I can say is I am always cognizant of the changes here and elsewhere. It feels like a full moon madness that exists whether the moon is given it is full glory in the night sky or but a quarter.

Maybe He Is Right

Old Walt Whitman might be spot on here.

We are all on individual paths and where they lead or do not might be destiny or coincidence.

Hell, it might be a combination of the two.

There is a girl who I would like to sit down and discuss this and a bunch of other things with.

If my druthers and requests were filled it would be on a beach somewhere with no distractions other than the sea.

But for the moment that is an impossibility and one wonders if that moment should be defined and described as minutes or eternity.

This the place where confusion reigns and it is hard to determine if that will continue to be the default answer or if perhaps the clouds will part long enough for rays of sunlight to provide the clarity only they are capable of displaying.

I am tired and worn out by it all, though it is also fair to say I am capable of mustering enough energy to change it all.

But that is probably contingent upon whether there is a real impetus to do so beyond personal desire.

Not that desire doesn’t provide significant motivation because it does. However, it is not enough on its own.

That is what happens when more than one is involved, you can’t walk into a secret world and celebrate by yourself.

It just doesn’t work.

Partnership is required, someone to take your hand and walk with you through the full moon madness.